themorningstar's journals

I've been absentee for a while on here.  It's been a hell of a couple of months, my big brother had a heart attack, but he's recovering nicely.  Unfortunately my brother was really the only person my dad had working for him, and now that he's out of comission indefinitely I've decided that when my lease runs out I'm going to move home and help my pops for a couple years.  Yep that's right, I'm going to move back to the coast of NC and become a lumberjack.  At first I wasn't happy making that decision, because I had been planning on moving to Ga.  As I have thought about it though, I have realized that this may be just the oppurtunity I need to get my life back on track.  While I'm working for my dad I'll have time to save some money and perfect my recipes and finish my business plan for the restaurant I've always really wanted to open in my hometown.  Also it will afford me some time to make some connections in the small organic food scene around there.  Hopefully within 2-3 years I will have this restaurant open.

Outside of that I've just been exhausted from delivering flowers, because it is the height of wedding season.  Hopefully things will calm down soon so that I can spend some much needed time catching up on the goings on of the GG community.

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I'm feeling like a bitch right now, cause this really cute and seemingly cool chick just came into the store I work at, and we flirted for about the whole 20 minutes she was in here.  And then I punked out and didn't ask for the digits before she left.  I guess it's been about year since I asked a girl out, because I've been all celibate and shit, and I'm out of practice.  Shit I hope she comes by the store again sometime soon so I can redeem myself.

I start my new job on Tuesday, I'm going to be doing deliveries for a florist.  It only pays $9 an hour, but it's full time, which is hard to get around here.  I'm not super excited but it should at least be a steady paycheck until I move to Georgia this summer. 

I went to the flea market yesterday and bought a belt buckle with Mayan calender on it, it's cooler than you.

One of my best friends had his car stolen Thursday night.  He was two payments away from paying it off.  It was an Acura Integra Type R with a carbon fiber hood.  Also in the car were his Nike carbon fiber golf clubs, all his cds, and two fully set up skateboards.  I feel bad for the guy, that sucks.

I went to see In Bruges yesterday and it was fucking awesome.  What made it even better was it was at an indy kind of theatre and they put real butter on their popcorn.

I got fired yesterday from the job I started a week ago, because the Beard is a "health code violation."  That, however, is a load of bullshit.  I kept it properly restrained, I even called a friends mom who's been a health inspector for 12 years and she said with the way I had it restrained it shouldn't have been a violation.  This has led me to believe that, somehow, in one week I caused the co-owner to have some sort of personal beef with me.  This guy works in the kitchen and has moderately long hair and wears no sort of hair restraint(which is a pretty big damn violation).  In fact, I was one of the only three people in that kitchen that kept my hair and facial hair restrained properly.  I just fuckin hate when somebody hands me blatantly obvious bullshit, and expects me to believe it.

 

edit:  I just remembered something else; when I had my trial there three weeks ago, right before they hired me, I was talking about the Beard and told them about the Beard and Mustache Championships, so it's not like they could have been under the misconception that the Beard was going to do anything but get longer.  They never even mentioned the Beard being even remotely problematic until I had quit my other job and started working there.

I started my new job at the bakery today, and oddly enough all I did was saute mushrooms and carmelize vidalias.  They do quiche in the mornings and I had to prep fillings.  Maybe I'll actually learn pastry soon, and they are supposed to be training me to make gelato as well.  I think that I'm basically being trained to be the go-to monkey in the kitchen.  From the sound of things I'm going to be trained to prep and/or make everything that they serve.  That will work out really well once I get the hang of everything, because right now I am very much a bull in a china shop.  This kitchen is tiny; I can flat-palm the ceiling without standing on my toes and I have to walk around the whole kitchen sideways or my shoulders hit everything. 

Outside of that things are good, I'm still celibate for some crazy reason.  I've been working out a lot of my problems and am finally starting to see some progress, so hopefully when I deem myself ready for a relationship I won't repeat too many of my dumb old mistakes.

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I went to see There Will Be Blood last night( I fucking loved it), and while I was in the theatre I got a text from an old friend.  This is a girl that I've really only spoken to once in the last 4 years, I met her freshman year of college and had a hellified crush on her.  Unfortunately she had a boyfriend at the time and is currently engaged.  She was in town for the weekend and wanted me to come out because we hadn't seen each other in ages and her birthday is in a couple of days.  I obliged, imagining that there would be a lot of catching up and other various pleasantries, I was somewhat mistaken.  She confessed to me that she had had a big crush on me back in the day, said something about us being soul mates, and repeatedly said how we were connected.  She made promise to set a once a week phone date with her and then set a recurring alarm in her phone so that she wouldn't forget about it.  She also told me she wanted me to come to her wedding, while she was cuddled against me holding my hand.  I know just from the look on her face that had I not kept my face a respectable distance from hers that she would have kissed me.  This would have been bad enough if it were just the two of us hanging out, but no, there were other people there.  The part that really makes me feel like an ass is I don't know how much I would have held back if no one else had been there, does that make me a bad person?

Her wedding is in four months, should I go?

And in general, What The Fuck?!?!

I've been playing Super Mario 3 for hours, i forgot how fucking fun that game is.  i dug up my old NES while i was at my folks place over christmas, and i've been playing it tons and buying games for it all over the place.  Fuck X-Men, that game is stupid hard, and i have no idea what the goal is.  tomorrow i'm going to pick up the gold cartridge Adventures of Link.  i have no idea why this required a journal.

Fuck it, i'm going to bed.

so i pulled myself out of the dating scene a while back, cause i was just starting to get tired of all the attached bullshit that comes with dating.  in addition to that, i decided that imposing celibacy upon myself would thoroughly enforce my attempt at not dating.  but now i find myself at an impasse, because i kinda want to start dating but don't want to give up the celibacy just yet.  i just want someone of the opposite sex to hang out with, go to dinner, sit around the house and watch movies with that wouldn't mind the fact that i don't want to have sex for a while.  it's tall order and i don't think that it's going to get filled, i feel like it would be a frustrating situation to put someone in.  i guess i should probably resign myself to not dating until i'm ready to put out.