shaers

its really early. its 3:55-am to be exact.

i haven't slept yet.
surprisingly, i am lucid and calm.

there was a time in my life where this was very normal. it's not that i would necessarily call it irregular at this point but less frequent would be accurate.

i was thinking more on fate. and what it might look like.

i told a friend tonight that i think it looks like tetris.

so anyway why am i up? fear tells me any answer i'd give would be constructed by some fraud in my psyche. the part of my brain that specializes in bullshit. im awake because im alive and trying to match feeling to action.

and in that i feel alone.
just to ask the (wheres) that are paramount of impotance to me..

where at what point will people start caring for another and get past the bullshit and empty flaws of life..

where in what point in life can we relax and not worry about terrorist. money, politics, religion, race. ect. stupid shit..

where is that one girl that stokes me out on life, the one i never get bored of, the one that would drive with forever, the one just as insane or sane as me..

where do you think you'll find your montauk(paradise)

but those are jsut mine.
guess thats why im hopeless
now i kno why i got that tattoo..


im jamming to Park and going to bed(or lack to try)





fuck.
i forgot how intense the breakfast club is..
its fucking rad.
hits everything.
life pondering.












i fucking hate ab commercials
thats how u kno ur an american
when u catch atleast 5 ab flicks in an hour







..im delivered
i saw a child's stuff bear in the back of a car today,
they just left it there,
it looked so sad,
like its soul purpose, its person to be with, its reason for being..

just left it there.
i kno it seems stoopid
but one of those random things i notice







fucking images r so fucking deceiving
u see things as u want to see them










im trashed
im a basketcase
im out.


what this so-called valentines day means(to me atleast)


In first grade we were allowed to make cards and bring in gifts to give out to other classmates and if my memory serves me right(which it never has and probably wont) I received none, or like two( one from the teacher and one from the other kid who made ones for everybody).-slight disappointment-- The next years rules changed -so if you bring in treats Feb. 14, YOU MUST BRING ONE FOR EVERYONE! Fuck that. I know it sounds bitter- but we ve all been there-it's a wired feeling holiday-often biased to couples , but when you're a little kid shit tends to fuck with you. it's strange messages we send to children(or eachother) --- I used to read cracked magazine a lot as a youngster , and every year my mom would put little candies and treats out for me and my brothers before we went to school in the morning, and in an attempted to get me something I would enjoy, my mom got me some boxers with hearts on them. a little box of red hots, and a copy of what she thought was gone be like a mad, or cracked magazine but was very obviously titled super teen, and was covered in young actor and pop star dudes. Lots of dudes. It was hilarious . But she was so disappointed at herself for it----- when I finally explained my outburst of laughter she felt all shitty , shitty-for no reason. As so many people do today --It was the effort that mattered right ------wrong I guess. There didn't need to be any. You can tell love by its feeling not it form. Sentiments are lovely but are to easily misunderstood. Tangible-- is too easy. Fuck valentines day . Just one day??? ---out of over three hundred -just one and its dedicated to commemorating the cheapest aspects of a truly honest and committed relationship. that's fucked up in my opinion. Im not sure if it's a massive conspiracy or what, but we should be reminding ourselves of this shit and doing little extra things for each other everyday, and I know this is not an original statement. But today lets try and tell people we don't know very well, or people who frustrate us in our lives, something nice about themselves. Think about the people we cant stand, and why. Maybe even reach out to them, old friends, falling outs. Family you might have beef with. If we re going to designate just one day for something, shouldn't it be something that is a little bit more challenging than buying flowers. Something we put off? Shouldn't it aim to make us a more aware people? I don't know shit. But today im going to reevaluate why ive pushed some people away and not others. And im not buying anything . Happy bullshit day baby girl. <3 shane


my heads a fucking a blazing intense quake on fire
static in my head

my egos like my stomache
it keeps shiting what i fear

and what else..

more than you kno, and its just the start of my day. yay'




like usual i hate talking about myself
but i cant help to be selfish sometimes cause i dislike almost eveyone

so please telll me hows ur day been
and maybe recomend a good book so i dont have to bother yall anymore



dont ask me why i am the way i am




got the new BAYSIDE disc - werth every fucking half penny
stoked i knabed it, now its time to get to depressed and jam
wont b hard..





hope i can make atleast some of yalls hair on the back of your neck stand up


or drive farrrr - ever
cut all ties.





except with honey mustard
its the shit














mindless self indulgence questions..(skip if u like)
why am i always wishing fer something better, when i kno wishing for is time wasted?

why do i demand that i hate this tired town, but end of in the same sequence of shit as the weekend b4?

does crying at a movie, liking a certain drink, or doing something with my hair make me less of a dude? does it make me a bit more "man-ly" if i beat my wife - get fat and hairy - only like 70's & 80's rock bands that looked the fucking same - gauk at chicks and say how big her tits and ass are and fuck em and leave em..

does it make me less if i really only want that ONE girl, the one to just be fucking crazy with and blow the world off with. the one person that makes u feel like nothing else matters and u could give a shit less. where all u want to do is just sleep - drive - get drunk - and just have fun with.

am i less or more cool/gnarly if i wear cloths with a certain brand name on them - have a certain amount of shoes - have the newest cell phone - own the hottest car at the moment

would u digg me more if my name wasnt shane- what if it was melvin or jose or osama - does that change the way you be chill with me.

if i won 40,000 dollars 2morrow would i be ur new friend? would u treat me better/worse?

if anyone had less zits/funny looking fingers/speach impediments could u talk to them more/less.

















i could go on.
im sorry.
mindless ramblings.
for some reason ide like to think i can make peepz open their mind up a little more and maybe realize not to be such bitches or take shit 2 seriously.

i probably think 2 much..


what does a lady beaver have between her legs??