pHuNkI's journals

i found my old furby today and put it next to my cat, doctor J, and he freaked OUT! everytime the furby talked, he got really anxious and went into hunter mode. then he started attacking the poor furby; he was swatting at it and pulling it around. how fuckin cute?! he did this for about an hour until he got bored with the thing. doctor J is so cute...

why is it that one gets into someting, knowing full well that it will end in an unpleasant situation, and then is surprised when everything they expected to happen, happens?
basically, it just did- it happened. and i'm shocked.
and yet i knew this would happen. exactly like this...

am i making sense to anyone but myself???

anyway, i think today is a great day for some xanax and walking around the beautifully sunny city and trying not to focus on anything...

you know what they say...
KEEP ON KEEPIN' ON!

can someone explain how these games played by boys work?

so i'm branching out. i meeting new people.
finally i meet this guy ive been eyeing forever. we click.
hung out last nite. i left his place at 10am. he asked me where ive been his whole life.
he fell asleep wrapped around me.
he asked me to go to dinner with him and his co-workers after he got out of work.
suishi + hot man = me very excited
my hair looks good and my makeup rocks.
work should be over around 7
10pm rolls around and i call.
hes at home sick. hangover is kicking his ass.
throwing up

question: how do boys feel about girls that sleep with them relatively quick?

im not emotionally stable to deal with games. i get excited easily. quickly. i fall head over heels into adoration quickly. how do i trust? how do i protect myself? how do i not go crazy? how do i know what im freaking out about isnt stupid?

ok maybe i dont know what i fucking want at all. i want feeling i want someone to adore me i want excitement but i dont want a boyfriend right now. im not ready to be someones. so how do i get what i want without getting hurt?

this sucks. im so tormented by this shit right now.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
fuck.

You tell me one thing.
Then it's something else.
Then it's something different.
Now it's completely turned around.
"She's fucking crazy"... "She's really jealous"... "If things were different"
What the fuck is going on?
You raise me up up up, then break me as you let me fall.
Again.

Everybody has a choice.
And I guess I'm just being selfish in wishing that people would want to care about hanging out with me. Not just shrug and say "I don't care." I wish that all the fighting would stop. I wish all the noises would stop.

I wish I could just disappear.
I wish I could close my eyes,
and fade away.

This is the first weekend I have not been drunk in the past 2 years.

Such a weird thing being sober and having no plans for the weekend, apart from work.


Usually on 7am on a sunday morning I am getting off the night bus.

no matter what i do im feeling all this hurt


FOR FUCK SAKE I NEED TO SORT MY HEAD OUT


GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.........................................

 

I NEED SOME MORE COOL PEOPLE TO CHAT TO ON MSN, IF ANYBODYS INTERESTED PLEASE ADD ME

(ABBY_PUNKPRINCESS@HOTMAIL.COM)

THANX.

Miss Phunki.

so usually i give myself the go ahead to start drinking once it gets dark out, except the flaw in this system i've realized is that these days it gets dark at 5:30

i went out to the city last night with some friends, had a reasonably good night until early

this morning i got arrested. if you sexually harass me while i'm walking down the street i will throw a bottle at you.

FUCKING ASSHOLES...

mistaking vodka for water at 7am is never good.

Dear house-mates,
Fuck you. Your skanky ass crap has been sitting on the drying towel for months, and I can't leave my plates there to dry for a few fucking hours? You guys are fucking douchebags.

Fuck off and die (please),
Me

PS When I say you can eat a muffin I mean you can eat a muffin. As in one muffin. Not all of my fucking muffins. Stop eating my food.