pHuNkI's journals

I dyed my hair dark brown today, i have not had dark hair for about 3 years now, so im still a little unsure about it, i guess it will grow on me, its a pretty lame photo, but what does everyone think, honoustly ???

then me and my friend Bec went shopping for food, and Peach went in the cart, kinda freaked her out a bit, after a while she was ok though,

time for a cig, then to bed... nighty night.

I had my annual exam yesterday. Ick.

She said everything looks and feels very healthy, and that I must really take care of my vagina. Well, she's right. I love it very much and hope we spend a lot of time together.

Women: get checked. Go to a local planned parenthood. It's free. And it's the best thing you can do for your body, and your lover's bodies, and your friends bodies.


Men: get checked too. Be a man and help stop stds. Be responsible and most of all be respectable.

i've never wanted to waste $400 on something so badly in my life.

IT'S A FREAKING GODDAMN BABY ROBOT DINOSAUR. 

i will love him and hug him and keep him forever AND HE WILL COO BACK AT ME WHEN I PET HIM BECAUSE HE'S THE BEST DINOSAUR EVER!!!!!!!

oh god. i'm nerding out so hard right now i may actually fall over....

are you at fault when your dog bites someone that was in your yard univited and you yelled at them that the dog would bite?

they are at fault right?

my staffy almost bit someone today.. but he came into the yard like an asshole. so im really just curious.


sometimes people underestimate  dogs.. but they are killers in cute little bodies

A couple of years ago, I was involved with a guy, he was a real piece of work. And by that, I mean he was a scumbag. Shortly after kicking him out of the house, he began dating a girl he was cheating on me with. Knocked her up and is now married to her. Grudges? Never. I'm thankful every day it wasn't me. Why, then, was I with him so long.. Simple. He knew how to eat a girl out like nothing else. Whether I be standing, sitting, or bent over, he made my knees weak. Recently he began sending me pictures of his cock, in all seriousness, trying to talk dirty with me. What do I do?

ummmm.....i'm actually very tired of people talking shit about my weight. i'm sorry if i'm 5'0" and i weigh 100lbs...really really sorry about that. i'm sorry if i eat and i don't gain weight. my parents, they are so sorry too, about my genes and all. fucking skinny parents, and their fucking skinny parents.
when you accuse me of throwing up in the bathroom, and i tell you i have HIV that usually gets you to shut the fuck up, right? some people are small, and some are not. if i ate 4 gallons of lard, i wouldn't gain weight. just fucking deal with it...as i cannot handle it. every fucking goddamn day...

i have wierd nieghbors, i swear there like serial killers or some shit, they make me feel nervous sometimes, how can i sleep with all this noise!!!
silly video games...ahh i'm just mad because i don't get to play

 

Happy New Year Everybody, i hope everybody celebrated in style and best wishes to all

CHEERS TO 2008 !!!!

Im not sure why exactly... but recently i havent really felt that great about myself..

i dunno why...

its like i go through these "i hate me" stages where i just wanna rip myself to shreds and insult myself.. and tell my self im stupid and ugly and to just stop trying....

but i have to learn to resist.

Because i noticed ive stopped eating regularly... its like a mild kind of depression i guess.....

well.. i feel like im drying up like a rose left out in the sunshine for too long...

maybe its too much drugs..or not enough drugs...

or not enough vitamines.... or too much...i dunno.

All i know is that for some lamo reason..i feel..well ....lamo!

i dont know how it starts... im usually a pretty confident person... confident..not vein. But i dont usually feel like "the ugly one" everywhere i go... exept just recently.

its like im missing something inside thats saposed to tell me that im wrong.. that im not fat or ugly or stupid .... where is that voice??

is she on vacation???

i wanna go....

Its like when i look at pictures of myself..i just wanna scratch them up..and rip them or set em all on fire.... what a feeling!

I think it started when i overprocessed my hair and was unhappy with the result.... but why this awekward downward spiral of self hate...

if i could.. maybe id fight myself.. just duke it out until all the energy has depleted out of my self hate chamber.

[Im not sure if its a chamber.. it can be just a closet or something...]

...I just dont know.

Maybe i need to go shopping.... or to the beach..or both.

Maybe i need to just let go and go eat a chocolate cake.

i swear this is unusual for me.....

and its so stupid, i know.... but for some reason.. i just feel like crap.

Up, down, Up , down.

Thats me. Thats how i operate.

Well.. now im in the "down" elevator... going down..down..down....

how do i make myself like myself again?

how?

being a girl is really fun..i think.. we get to go through all these wierd emotional problems and all kindes of self doubt baggage and all that... but you know.. its okay.

As long as im feeling something.... id hate not to be able to feel.... so...

i appreciate what i have and all these feelings too.

Maybe ill develope a trendy eating disorder and that'll take care of it....

maybe ill go read a book about elephants.. because i LOVE elephants.

Maybe i just need to smoke a bowl....

well.. like i said before.... the only way to go from down.. is UP.. so....

hopefully things will start looking up soon...

and i can be at peace again...

Ok now iv been told how to do it, here are some pics from a shoot i did a few weeks back, it was so much fun,

i havnt done much modeling before, but im looking at getting into a bit more...

Modeling - Model - Fashion
Modeling [all types]. NO nudes. Contact for more info. i dont work for free. If you want to offer me work.. please keep in consideration that i have to pay rent too. ..

keep in mind that i am only 5' 0 tall,

 thanx

hope everybody had the best xmas, although i dont really like xmas, is everyone as hungover as me today... cry cry cry

So i have been sooo busy, like most this time of year i guess, cant wait for xmas to be over...

so i got my ticket to 'HIM' today, omg ! im soo happy, they are like definatly one of my top 3 favourite bands, and wanted to see them live forever, finially come march i will get to do so , if anybody else is going to the sydney show, let me know, maybe we could meet up there, cause currently im going by myself, cause all my friends are fuking lame,
i wish i had a boyfriend right now, it sucks being xmas eve and sitting at home , just me and my best mate Jack Daniels, oh well what can you do ehh, he's been better then every boyfriend iv ever had...

well to all the nice people out there, have a great xmas, get drunk and be merry,
to all my ex b/f's and the rest of you who aren't nice, hope santa brings you a bag of fuckin onions...
Merry Xmas GG land !!!