matthew's journals

yesterday was really long but in a 14 hour period i saw:

petrer jennings, annaliese, faarhaad, juleene, natalie reid, dane cook (he's my brother), jeff todd, and ron jeremy (but i did not ask 2 see his cock)....for the first time in over a year i went out to an actual restaurant and ate real life food.  it was four cheese pasta at cheese cake factory yummy..thanks annaliese YOU'RE THE BEST!!!

Handprint media called me today for "movies that rock",  i am shooting with jeffree in a few minutes and i am going to shove a birthday cake in his face..shhh dont tell him...and tomorrow is CGI  facial recognition shots for a tv show. (even I do not know what the means, but in just nod my head and click the button)  eden tried fixing my fucxked up hair last night when i was drunk as fuck, and i think she kept some clumps to make a "matthew voodoo doll"  uh oh.  i paid an editor a copuple hundred dollars to finish some mag shots but they came out really really really crappy, but instead of firing her (which is what i should ahve done) i just paid her and redid them myself... SUCKER...

right now i am layering rain layers onto #1947,

and waiting to see if my $40,000 loan is going to go through at 10% or less...  i hate money

Mariqueen from west side indian girl texted me after she found my gg journal and i acted dumb like i didnt know what GG was...ha ha.

i am pretty much a lying sac of shit but she didnt beleive me anyways

damn it's snowing and freezing in new hampshire.  its too bad that obamma sounds so much like osamma

here's some old stuff heeeey loooook at  the bottom under chelsea's chin is a Mt Dew can :) 

i am in IOWA right now stuffing HUCKABEE ballots.

for some weird reson the wireless WLAN thingy from persih's room has cured itself and come back to life  so i am going to post some stuff while i still have the internet

Roxy

new years was a blast from what I remember..my roomate is still missing tho but I am not sure if I should call someone??? On nye Annaliese dialed me in big time at like eleven pm and we rolled over to little radio dot com.. THANKS for the save annaliese!!  That dude jim is dope.. i used to PA with him.. I saw julene luv her ( at least I think it was her... She looks waaaay different) I met "andrew" finaally, he's hot.. I drank too much and natalie and i were the last to leave and they closed the door on us... Ha ha. Thank god i wasnt driving!!! The open bar things always wipes me out...we went to after hours and made some more enemies :( I lost my shoes??? WTF..Today I shot products and my back is killing me from leaning over all day.lori called me to shoot some shots for "the rookie".. The writers strike is still going on.  :(

<a href="http://s142.photobucket.com/albums/r105/cooketv/?action=view&current=_MG_0720copy.jpg" target="_blank"><img src="http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r105/cooketv/_MG_0720copy.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>

i am pretty sure that tonight i will party myself to death and crash my drunken puke faced ass off a cliff into a fiery ball of new years joy... i am an alcoholic..

ps y r drugs so expensiveexpensive$

pss why am i always broke?

I got waaaaaay too loaded at a party in the hills and then got in my car and drove the wrong way on the freeway..

i barely remmeber that???? 

That is called...pulling a "nicole richchie". 

it would be more funny if it wasnt so sad that i am making a joke about it..asshole

i am sposed to be editing right now but i dont get paid by the hour so the only one i am ripping off is myself sucker.

last wek was my birthday and i was working a night shoot for tires for a superbowl commercial.   working on your birthday sucks especially at night in the freezing malibu canyons in the pouring rain (it never rains in Los Angeles WTF?)  at four am i was standing on the side of the country back road waiting to go up the street.  I am standing under my golf umbrella ella ella but my feet are soaking wet my cigarette is wet and you have to pinch it together at the filter to hold it together. 

i am alone

in the dark

wet

freezing in the cold on my birthday.

i was super stoned so i am getting all scared cuz i can hear animal noises off int eh woods but its kinda hard to hear exactly b/c of the rain noise.  it sounds like a large cat "mewing". I am jumpy to begin with but we were shooting at the place where they filmed that crystal lake movie with the guy with the mask and chainsaw.. so i am feeling a little bit scared.

it is at this time in my life on my birthday that i reflect on the past year of my life.  wet, cold, alone ,in the dark, scared...alone

i keep feeling like i should give up on my career as a photographer.  it is a lonley job.  no other profession would have me out at four am in the dark in the rain alone.  i am waitign by the roadside for about half an hour.

the process trailer and camera car's headlights crest teh hillside at the end of the raod where is am stadning and i am finally allowed to walk up to the film set.  the commercial is starring alice cooper and a work out guru named Richard Simmons.  in the freezing winter night his outfitis the dolphin shorts and mini tank top.. The guy is genuine.  he like came out of his motorhome singing showtunes and cleared everyone's dinner plates from the lunchbox.  he has this real need to "connect" with EVERYONE. 

He shouts his lines in the commercial at the car as it drives by him on the smokey mountain top.  take after take after take after take, he keeps shouting:

"I BELIEVE IN YOU!"

at a point in my life when i feel so alone and confused, god steps in and sends a messenger to me in the form of Richard Simmons. 

weird.

i got one present this year.  It came from an amazing gorgeous inernational model  that i do not even know that well???  She bought me a waaaaaay too expensive bottle of Cristal.  I had mentioned cristal once and she remembered..  that gift means a lot more to me than i let on b/c i luv her even more now than ever...sucker

meandmymychine

annaliese as an angel

i found this one which is sorta slutty

i sat all day waiting for a music video that never happened..i sat in my car smoking weed and cigarettes with penny (he's cool).

right now i am sitting at my computer smoking weed and cigarettes by myself. (i'm cool)

here is roxy (she's cool) in a giant toilet bowl (this is not photoshop).  yes it is an actual giant toilet bowl.