matthew's journals

at first i thought it was flattering how many people in public approached jessica to ask about her tattoos and all that.  you know because she has a smoking hot ass body and super cute face and beautiful shiny hair and the prettiest eyes.. but when i am shopping at target and she looks HOT with short shorts and thin little tee shirt with her awesome big boobs and tiny little waiste and every single dude walking in the store is checking her out, it starts to bug me.   i like that she looks hot, and i like her to dress so she feels hot.. im ok with it all TOTALLY because it makes me feel good that she is mine  neways I know dudes check out every girl in the world but for some reason when its old creepy dudes doing a double take to look at her hot little ass then it weirds me out.  And it isnt like a few random dudes..it is EVERYBODY even family type dudes who are with their wives..??? i am not sure that she notices anymore.  She just goes about her shopping...

if i was a random dude shopping at target and i saw jessica i would probably bump my shopping cart into hers. (three or four times)

really the only problem is: "why am i shopping at Target?"

jessica moved into a huge ass four bedroom house in a gated community in las vegas. I'm so fucking jealous bc I currently reside in a ten by ten prison cell in sweaty valley village. I am pretty much done here and I have shoots in los angeles that I am sposed to go home to shoot, but I don't want to. She has a bathroom that is bigger than my bedroom with a glass door shower and his and her sinks and a two person bathtub with jacuzzi jets. Really two bathroom sinks side by side. ?!!!!! I never realized what a trailer park I am living in untill I parked my truck in her three car garage and slept with central air conditioning. My life sucks. I wish I could stay here but I'm heading home tomorrow to try and earn some more $. The credit card companies keep calling me looking for their $, but I don't have it. Hopefully I can get on a couple more easy cash gigs shooting porno covers. Last week the porno girl was having anal leakage so the shoot took about 15 minutes for 200$. Hopefully there will be more chicks like that this week.

viva las vegas!

i got to shoot with skin yesterday.. it was reeeeeally long and hard shoot day in the sweltering heat of the valley..here is skin lying on the floor of my house...ps i have the dirtiest floor in the world..

on a lighter note, i am getting audited by the irs again, but i swear i didnt cheat my taxes.. im gonna fight that shit till the bitter end bc i simply DO NOT HAVE 4000$...

i have that guilty dad complex thing so i bought jesse a wii that i CANNOT afford but my fricken living situation is so small that keeps hitting me in the face with the nunchuck thingy while im writing this

heres some old stuff

 

tecate mexico was exhausting.  i dont think i am very RUGGED..

 

I was on set witting with a random college kid wardrobe guy and he was showing me some posters off his phone he thought were funny but i wasnt listening till he said something about cupcakes and then i was like whhhhhhhhaaaaaa..??????  then i lokoed at the photo of jamie and stiletto..NO WAY too funny

i was like "i shot that" but i am pretty sure he didnt beleive me..whatev

i googgle searched me name and found some shots "thank god"

i ididnt see very many shots tho :(

 

 

 

 

watch this mother fucking kid pop and lock..its is fucking wild..the song gets to me adfter a while..so fucking funny...

:-P

"the ELEVATOR to success is out of order.  you will have to take the stairs one step at a time."

i sat at panavision all day today under a GIANT banner that had that quote...it started to get on my nerves because damn my legs are killing me.  i had so many hours to kill on my i phone so i logged into the site and discovered "system messages"  it said 720 and when i opened it there was 22 pages of like community requests that i never saw till today..some of those must be over a year old?  i thought the community requests used to come to my inbox and that i was just never getting any..my inbox was ALWAYS empty...the site wouldnt let me approve them for some reason so after about three minutes or retrying it i gave up and watched you tube videos intead.  this website hates me...

here is a funny thing called "human tetris"  those crazy japanese  theyr'e so funny

a producer paid me 200$ to frame this painting for him, then when i got it to my house i realized that the painting when framed would b too big to fit in my car to deliver to him... that was like two months ago so this rolled up painting has been sitting in my bedroom for months.  i never looked at it untill yesterday when i opened it to use it to art direction in a gg set with harlow and foxxxxxx.  some weird angels for hector ramirez

would anyone actually purchase this teeshirt?

 

 

i got to shoot with adneris this week.  she is fucking cuuuuuuute.  love her she's awesome.  i wish the sets were better..  whatev.

at gg the girls have tattoos and those are part of the shots, but in the rest of the world people draw the tattoos off the photos.  this girls are easy to get rid of.