lullabye

Last weekend I went out w/ friends and invited this boy I've known for a while. He buys me drinks and drives me to go ge waffles when I was too drunk after all the free drinks, and we basically flirted all night.


Then he takes me back tpo my car so we can both go home, and he seems kinda shy/nervous, so I decided to take it uppon myself to go in for the kiss. So I go for it and he says wait, I'm kind of seeing someone right now...... ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?

Who does this? But he says its not serious and he doesn't know where it's going w/ her so I ask him to the movies for the next weekend, he says yes. Today I get a text "lets not call this a date since I don't know whats up w/ this girl" AHHHHHHH!@!

Now he's a smart sweet guy, (for a change) you'd think he would have discussed this w/ her or no that until the exclusivity conversation is had, he's free to do as he pleases.

Now I know I'm just being greedy cause I need to get laid and kinda jealous in the want what I can't have BS, but still. I just wish nothing was so serious all the time and we co8uld all just have fun as people.]



whatever

So this boy I meant for my 20th birthday party, and boned like no one has ever boned before, has recently come back into my life. He may be my date tonight if he gets back to me. He's CUTE. Wanna internet stalk him? here you go: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=186925144

I'm thinking I want to try out a new nickname. Current is Sara Sleaze. I'm thinking Clover. As I am becoming more and more obsessed w/ my irish roots. And irish boys. Boondock Saints anyone? *le sigh* What do you guys think?

When I'm old enough and have a secure job, perhaps my own boss, I want to get a clover tattooed near one of my eyes.

I really fucking need new ink. I found this picture of my mom when her and my dad first got married that I want to make into a portrait. Maybe for her birthday. We've struggled a shit ton w/ getting along and such over the years, I dont' think she'd expect it at all. Only thing is, I've had this image in my head of my dad's portrait tattoo, and it's kind of silly. He looks like Jack Nicholson in the Shinning and I wanted to get his face coming throught the bathroom door, just change the features slightly to make jack into my dad. Now I still like this idea, but next to a "nicer, more seriuos" portrait of my mom, would it work? I hate most of the pictures of my dad, lol everyone seems to catch him w/ his mouth open or some sort nonsense. Especially around the time the photo of my mom I want to use was taken. So, what if I use a picture I actually like, but my dad is older. Would it look goofy next to the younger pic of my mom? opinoins please

So I got home from a new weekly ritual of girls night on the town. And I'm BUZZED. heehee Next week is date week, and I'm thinking of asking my friend Tyler or possibly a shift at my work to go w/ me. There was not one cute single guy at either of the bars tonight. Serious bummer as I need my dirty-nasty-sweaty-rebound lay. I was getting the strangest vibe off my frine Kristina, and I think she wants me. haha, totally would if I didn't think she'd want a whole relationship and there was no chance of awkwardness. But awkward is my middle name.....

I'm going to orange card into a math class tomorrow cause they are all full. I hope the teacher lets me in, otherwise, I don't know what I'm going to do. It's not till 3 tho, so I get to sleep off my buzz and enjoy my day off.

My puddin tat Aries is so fucking cool I want to get him a baby sister or brother. But they can't have a tail, cause he only has a nubbin. He's an american bobtail, which are by far, the coolest of the cats. He's like a dog, drinks from the toilet, like his belly rubbed, follows me everywhere and likes to go for walks on a leash. So i found a Manx cat breeder in the city adjecent to mine, only a 20 minute drive! So I think next semester, when I get my VA benefits back, I'll be saving for: tattoos, a laptop, and a little kitty friend for my kitty friend. I can't wait. I have a while to come up w/ a name. For some reason, Maggie Gyllenhaal comes to mind. I dunno.

Anywho, Thats my update, no I'm off to sleepy land, I think toorrow I'm going to buy the Boondock Saints. It's blasphomy I don't own it already.

I feel like screaming. And crying. I'm just so.. blah lately. I need help taking my medications, cause I know not taking them regularly is the only reason I feel this way. But for some fucked up reason I can't seem to make myself take them every day. I feel helpless and stupid in the wierdest way.

ugh

I need something new....

anyone know where I can get Ketamine in this town?