Member : kazikai > journals > reading "Should I stay or should I go now???"
back to the profile of kazikai
I haven't posted too much lately. Just trying to figure a lot of things out. Direction in my life I guess. I've been debating whether or not to cancel my account here. I don't actually know why I'm on the site anymore. Don't get me wrong, I love looking at all the sexy ladies, but I don't know my purpose on the site now. I dont know haha. Story of my life. Still single, went out with a girl i liked and that liked me but she pushed me onto her friend the whole night we were out drinking. Told me that the other girl was more my type. Next day claimed i felt the other girl up when i know i didnt and then she stopped talking to me altogether. My deployment got pushed back to May at the earliest. Pretty frustrating, i was supposed to be in afghanistan this month. Things keep getting changed, im doubtful ill even deploy next year. All next week i'll be shooting my rifle on the range for a score. Aiming to get expert. Maybe i should write more journals and vent more. Not like i talk to my parents at all or my friends anymore. Kinda hard when you're so far away and dont wanna miss them. Plus everyone is busy with their own lives. Im hesitant to write journals, i doubt anyone really reads mine. Oh i didnt mention, im kinda in love with a stripper. I went home for the first time in 9 months. While home one night i was waiting for a train and was talking to an ex marine and then started talking to this girl. Turns out shes my age about to finish up undergrad at George Washington University. She told me she was waitressing at a stripclub. pretty awesome in my opinion, she got off at my stop so i walked her out. She wanted to hang out and gave me her number but no name as she smiled and walked off. The next night we went out for drinks, it was pretty cool. I really liked talking to her. I walked her home and we made out. Next day was almost my last back home. We went to the zoo and then later we were supposed to go for drinks, ps she lives like 5 blocks from my house back home. It rained that night so we watched horror movies at my house. As things go one kiss leads to a touch to an amazing night and morning in bed. She told her teacher she might have swine flu so she could spend my last morning with me. I still talk to her, and now shes started dancing at the strip club. I actually dont mind. I know shes not ready for a relationship though, ill def admit shes an amazing girl all around. But yeah haha... thats my life. Marine Corps ball is next month in vegas and i still dont have a date :( blah my tattoo of the dc flag finished healing, all the other marines are like wtf is that? im so tired of explaining hah. i wanna go to a concert... dont know what to be for halloween. anyways feel free to drop me a response or msg. in the words of jimmy neutron: Gotta blast!!!
Viewing 23 comments on this page
Vice
ConrI love reading your journals, hopefully you'll keep posting more just to vent. Congrats meeting what seems like a pretty amazing lady. Stripping is just a job. I don't think it should be looked at anything other than that in a relationship. It sounds like she really likes you.
Imogen
Is it weird that I think being in love with a stripper sounds super romantic? I think it just reminds me of some books, like Dermaphoria and House of Leaves. Though that was more of a side note in those books.
You should totally stay! Come on, pretty ladies, venting in journals, getting to know new people... Why wouldn't you want to stay? ehh?
Be a zombie for halloween! That's what I'm being. :)
Adelaide
oh sweetheart, i think you should stay. i love talking to you. <3
Angela
definitely stay, of course!
Addison
agreed your place on the site is being friends with all the beautiful ladies
CuntSteen
keep your head up.. everything will fall into place you just gotta let it..
Asha
I think everyone has a case of the "wtf am I doing with my life" blues. I always enjoy reading journals and they're great for venting. Stick around, love...there's always people to talk to around here. Your dancer friend sounds wonderful <3
kazikai
shes amazing but she wont be mine :(
Saiya
I definitely think you should stay.
Your strip club friend sounds pretty awesome.
<3
Clarissa
Don't go! We aren't friends YET! And we should be :)
<3
ktls666
aw :( dont leave!
kazikai
you're amazing
ktls666
ummmmmm. no i think you are!
Maga
Stay. DUH.
Romy
aww stay with us <333
Kodi
stayyy:D<3 xx
Georgie
How interesting. You know, I have never dated a stripper. For some reason the last time I went to a strip club I was high and the girls scared me, for real. So to hear how amazing this girl is sounds so cool! What a find to have a chick to chill! Plus Im sure she feels awesome with you to be calling in sick!
Oh and suggestions for Halloween costume: I want someone to be Michael Phelps! you know wearing a whole neck full of medals and a suit! You have rockin' abs for it!
Scarlett
Stay! I'm kind of in love with every stripper ever.
Bianca
You should deffinately stay! Aww, and i'm glad your having a great time with the girl! She sounds amazing :)
kazikai
sorry but does anyone pay attention? her and i wont happen... as much as id like it to it wont...
Asha
Look at it this way, as long as you have this amazing person in your life then that's a good thing. Whether or not it becomes more than friendship...as much as you want it to....you still know a great person. That's what life is. Embrace it. <3
Sadie
Have you figured out what you're going to be for Halloweenie yet? I'm STILL undecided and it's in four days.....
xoxox
back to the profile of kazikai
i enjoyed reading your journal. i have a cousin who just got back from being in Iraq and a nephew who is in Afghanistan right now. when i asked him his feelings on the whole thing he said "well, i'm excited because this is what i've trained for and went to school for and everything. but on the other hand, i'm 24 and might die." consider yourself lucky you got pushed back, in my opinion. i love my country and i'm not super against the war, i just hate to see our boys go.