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So…I have an odd brain. I have the weird ability to separate things and see them apart and the see them as a whole. In short, I can dissect my thoughts.

I was recently reading an illustrated novel a friend of mine gave me. Blankets by Craig Thompson. It truly is an amazing little story. It’s basically a first love story and a reflection of Mr. Thompson’s childhood. And it got me thinking about my own childhood, and my own first love. It also got me to reflect of the rites of passage that we all endure to get into adulthood. And I feel a very odd mix of emotions after reading this, depression, warmth, happiness, sorrow, disappointment, and longing. I like to call it sadly-happy.
I’ve been planning a trip up to Washington State for a couple weeks when I get out of the military. I’ve never known why and I don’t really know where at in the state, just that I need to go. I have no family, no friends, and no attachments up there and the reason why I need to go just escapes me every time I think about it. Now, after reading Blankets, I figured out why I need to go. I’m going to find happiness. Washington is not mentioned any where in the book and I’ve been planning the trip long before I read the story, but it made me put two and two together. I’ve known and stated before that I am unhappy in life and Washington just calls to me. Like an elusive…thing. I’m not too good at analogies right now, bare with me. I also realize that I’ve been slowly preparing myself for this trip before I even knew I was going to take it.

Weird ain’t it? I’m surprised I’m even writing about the trip, no one really knows about it except my (soon to be ex, read other journals) girlfriend, my sister and my father. Huh.

Anywho, if anyone is looking for a muse, a good read, or a way to help reflect on who you are, read Blankets. I highly encourage it, even if it’s not for anything more than a sit down. I also suggest reading it in one sitting, as I was told to do by my friend.