Member : glowskull > journals > reading "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

glowskullback to the profile of glowskull
What is the sound of one hand clapping? posted : 02/11/09 at 07:11pm pst

"I knew a Buddhist once, and Ive hated myself ever since. The whole thing was failure.
He was a priest of some kind, and he was also extremely rich. They called him a monk and he wore saffron robes and I hated him because of his arrogance. He thought he knew everything.
One day I was trying to rent a large downtown property from him, and he mocked me. "You are dumb," he said. "You are doomed if you stay in this business. The stupid are gobbled up quickly."
"I understand " I said. "I am stupid. I am doomed. But I think I know something you don't"
He laughed. "Nonsense," he said. "You are a fool. You know nothing."
I nodded respectfully and leaned closer to him, as if to whisper a secret. "I know the answer to the greatest riddle of all," I said.
He chuckled. "and what is that?" he said. "And you'd better be Right, or I'll kill you."
"I know the sound of one hand hand clapping " I said. "I have finally discovered the answer."
Several other Buddhists in the room laughed out loud, at this point. I knew they wanted to humiliate me, and now they had me trapped-because there is no answer to that question. These Saffron bastards have been teasing us with it forever. They are amused at our failure to grasp it.
Ho ho, I went into a drastic crouch and hung my left hand low, behind my knee. "Lean closer," I said to him. "I want to answer your high unanswerable question."
As he leaned his bright bald head a little closer into my orbit, I suddenly leaped up and bashed him flat on the ear with the palm of my left hand. It was slightly cupped, so as to deliver maximum energy on impact. An isolated package of air is suddenly driven through the Eustachian tube and into the middle brain at quantum speed, causing pain, fear, and extreme insult to the tissue.
The Monk staggered sideways and screamed, grasping his head in agony. then he fell to the floor and cursed me. "You swine!" he croaked. "Why did you hit me and burst my eardrum?"
"Because that," I said, "is the sound of one hand clapping. that is the answer to your question. I have the answer now, and you are deaf."
"Indeed," he said. "I am deaf, but I am smarter. I am wise in a different way." He grinned vacantly and reached out to shake my hand.
"You're welcome,"I said. "I am, after all, a doctor."

 

Mahalo.

Viewing 1 comments on this page

Chilli
02/11/09 08:22pm pst

hahahaha I loved it!

glowskullback to the profile of glowskull