eddiemoney

 

So, my ex girlfriend came over the Saturday after July 4th. She called me and and I knew what was up and we had a ton of fun Sat night. Then Sunday morning I wanted to do it again; she was tired she said "no." But I'm a jerk I just kept poking her. Finally she says "Fine, just pretend I'm dead." So I put it in and she didn't move at all. I flipped her over and still not even a sign of life, she was playing dead real good. So, I thought I'll get her to object and I handcuffed her to the bed. . . Stilll nothing! I put her in a bunch of positions after that and she was so into playin her part (dead girl) that I barely got a grunt out of her. When I was ready I pulled out and blew it on her face (her eyes were closed the whole time). She hates that, and she kicked me really hard in the side and I fell off the bed then she yelled "you better have the GDAMN keys!" Priceless.

I've never had a dead girl fantasy ever but this was really hot for some reason.

     I met an attorney today who is the president of a digital forensics firm, about what he does and the best way to destroy data. He finds data for people to use in trials. The Dept of Justice brought him a computer that had belonged to a senator from Texas, and it was melted. The FBI came and the senator tossed it right in the fire. It was fused and he got clearance to open it with a hacksaw. He has a dust free room with all sorts of gadgets right in his office, and he salvaged the disk from the hard drive and made an exact copy. . . got everything 100% data recovery. He can copy your whole drive and the drive will never know, there will be absolutely no trace.

    I was asking him the best way to destroy hypothetical incriminating data on my computer and he said I really can't. The Department of Defense standard for destroying data is to rewrite the entire drive with 1's & 0's, reformat it and do it again 6-8 more times, or to burn the actual disc (platter) inside the hard drive. Turns out that when you delete something it doesnt get deleted. It just tells your CPU that that file name is available again and the space where it was is now available to store new data. Which data stays and which data get covered over is anyone's guess; and even when you defragment your drive, it covers some data and leaves others. Plus even if its been written over once he can still find it most of the time. And multiple versions of files remain on the drive, so when you save a word doc the old one stays, the new one doesnt over write it.

    He said I could buy 2 brand new top of the line laptops for what it would take to custom rewrite mine and that if I really wanted to get rid of the data I should take the drive out and hit it with a hammer until the platter is cracked.

Now ya' know.

    I've been working on a black and white comic book style painting for a while now with a few color highlights. I just realized that instead of using oil paint like I'm used to I can use a Sharpie marker on the canvas. Wow. . . no drying no smearing and from a distance of more than a foot it looks the same with the fine point marker. My only concern is whether it will last as long as an oil would, but rly I don't sell these much at all so its not a big deal. This thing is 40 inches tall by 90 inches long and I started it 2 years ago lol. Its gonna be my masterpiece and I want to post it on this site since I don't have a blog or myspace or anyother web outlet. Maybe with my new shortcut I'll even finish before the end of the year *crosses fingers*. Best part is it blends well with the other oil work I've alrdy done. I plan to coat the whole thing at the end with a varnish. I shoulve tested it on a small part before I got started but whatever I just got goin with my marker and was having to much fun to care. I'll test a small spot on some other canvas and see, and if finishing coat and sharpies dont work well together then this paining wont get a finishing coat. I'll just let the light bounce off it as it wills.

So now I officially work for a law enforcement agency making me both a crimefighter and a criminal at the same time. It's only a matter of time before I get made and end up on the scandal pages. After that happens I get to play the disgraced Lawman who becomes a hardboiled defense attorney that has seen every side of the law. I've got my career all mapped out. Just hope I last long enough to get the pension. I walk the thinnest line (dead milkmen song). But hey, you can do whatever you want in this life as long as you can live with the consequences.

 

I heard a story about about a guy playing soccer. While he was playing his scrotum didn't feel right. It didn't feel right for a few days and he went to the doctor. It turns out his left teste moved to the right side, then back to left side and back and forth a few times. The wires connecting his nuts to his system got tangled and the one cut off circulation to the other. It was dead and the Dr had to remove it!

This is my greatest fear... now i sleep with underwear on so my testes stay in place overnight and I will never play soccer. If a girl plays with my balls I'm like "Careful! they can't switch sides! Nevermind just leave 'em alone. How bout I eat your pussy instead?" They think I'm crazy for a sec but the oral brings 'em back around, and my nuts stay safe.