commaperiod's journals

...now that I think of it, please check if you feel so inclined
www.womenagainstpalin.com

She is going to make American hell for woman more than it already is.

Someone dropped thier lunch in my pants, because I found a footlong hotdog, and two soft boiled eggs in the front, and a melted jello pudding pop in da back. There is also some strips o' bacon stuck to the back of my underoos. Who is the owner? I give me 10 kudos on this one. I'm actually laughing out loud right now. If anyone can make me laugh as hard as I do, I'll give you a blow-job, cunnilingus, or both.

Celine Dion

It was pretty much how they explained it in sex-ed. I was cranky for a couple of days, then I went to sleep and when I woke up, there was a flower shaped stain in my bed! At first, I was scared, but my mom assured me that it was natural and that I'm a woman now. My dad then explained to me that because the stain was brown, I had most likely shit in my bed. He assured me that it was natural and it just means that I'm a man now.

Me party hard after beloved red-sox won.Was slipped a mickey, woke up with underwear on backwards.Hurts when I sit for some reason.

I literally creamed my Levis© brand jeans when I saw all of these wonderful new friends in Mike's world! You are all official Mikesters®™! Here's another amazing fact about me....my I.Q. is 133! I'm above average! Also here's a bonus factoid...I Nair© my back hair and my balls!

Due to popular demand, and the countless e-mails from all the 'Mikesters'™© out there,here's a new entry. I think I have the flu.I did laundry today.I had soup last night with too much hot sauce in it, now I have ring sting. I did something amazing a few weeks ago, when I held my arms straight out from my sides for 53 minutes. I also lit a cigarette off of my friend Pauls fart that he set on fire. I can do 50+ push-ups. I hate watching people eat. I haven't had sex in 4 months. More amazing facts about me coming soon.

I really can't understand what is so awesome about Zach Braff. Chicks totally digs that dude. Why? Does he sweat chocolate and shit romantic comedies? How would you know if he's even a good listener, did you meet him? His nose looks like a retard went nuts on a potato with some crudely made tools. I mean, c'mon

The other day, I stepped out of the shower and I saw a nickle on the floor of the bathroom. I squatted down and picked it up with me 'cheeks! I was totally soaking wet! 'Twas impressive. Feel free to comment if you have a story about my wet, amazing bunnz!

Another wacky adventure for Michael J. Brown! I was watching a moving picture starring Mr. Vin Diesel, and I was apparently masturbating 2 fast and 2 furious, because the strangest fucking thing happened. Instead of the usual feta/sour cream mixture coming out, there was a loud fart noise, a puff of purple brimstone, and there before me at the foot of my yoga mat, a Genie materialized! He told me I was allowed to make three wishes! I thought for what seemed like seconds about what to wish for. The G.I. Joe aircraft carrier? A unicorn? An anatomically correct, life-size Gary Busey blow-up sex doll? The knowledge that myspace exists to be erased from my head? Too many decisions! Then, in a stroke of genius, I swiftly reached into HIS pants, and gave him a tug or three! His eyes rolled back and was writhing in ectasy and moaning his ass off when lo and behold, there was the accompanying fart sound, and another Genie appeared! I repeated the five-knuckle Genie shuffle until there were 5 Genies! A simple mathematical equation would compute that 5 Genies times 3 wishes is like 11 wishes or something. I'm so smart! Or so I thought. They all conferred on the matter, and their conclusion was that I get no wishes, due to a technicality. I was all WTF! lol <3 BRB! The moral of the story is you can masturbate, but not to a Vin Deisel movie, for He is magic, and He will make an ancient, supernatural Muslim spirit come out of your hairy bagpipes, or for the ladies, your whooha???. I'm really running out of ideas. I need to get a life. I need a woman or just need to get away for a bit.

Have you ever played that game called "Six Degrees of Bacon"? It's F-U-N! It works like this: someone says an actors name, let's say Mario VanPeebles, and then you try to figure out six other actors who may or may not have eaten bacon! I came up with only Dolph Lungren, and Michael Gross. Heck, I'll give me a big ol' NOT BAD FOR MY FIRST TIME with those results! We played this fun party game for minutes at my 27th birthday. Speaking of first times, I had my first auto-fellatio experience 'n' it was C-O-O-L! For those of you who aren't in the know, it's when you suck off a car muffler. That was a dumb joke. Currently drinking: gin and sanka. Currently raping: my hand.