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So since the joy of RSD I have become the storms. By this I mean I can tell more so by my emotions when a storm is approaching or in the area. Then my pain kicks into overdrive. According to the facts of the disease it has to do with the low pressure dropping. The barometer. What I find most fascinating is the emotional roller-coaster I go on. I feel it. I know it is there. And know matter how many happy joy joy thoughts I have I can not seem to stop it. (((((PLEASE GET THIS STRAIGHT I AM NOT BITCHING I AM TELLING A STORY AND I FIND THIS FACT INTERESTING))))) I can be inside, away from any windows and I can still feel the storm come over me.
It is like someone is putting a dark blanket over me that is weighted down stronger than I can carry. Then taking everyone’s thoughts and eyes in the room that I happen to be in and then turning them against me. If I happen to be alone then those thoughts of my own turn against me and this can happen on the drop of a dime. It is no fun when pain turns against you. Then when the emotions have me beaten the reflex sympathetic has their turn. Starting from the top of my foot to the tips of my toes. Running through my body, dissecting me in half. It is time to take off my shoes and my socks. Time to turn my human foot into a rabbits foot. Hold all my calls please.
However, what is so interesting is these Tornado visions I have recently had. To be clear, this past year has kicked my ass. The first year sucked and the second year was a breeze (compared to this year), but THIS year has KICKED my ass. I do not know what has happen. And so many positive things has happened this year too. I am going on my 4th year. Back to my visions. This year 2008, when the first tornados came through, of course I was writhing in pain. I had a day dream, (so to speak) pop in my head of a tornado splitting a two-story brick apartment building and laying it on the ground. My Aunt and Uncle who live out in Arkansas had just sold their house and moved into an apartment. I had not seen their new place so I panicked and called them that day to “check on them.” Everything was fine. Yet every time a twister came across the South I seen this. A two-story brick apartment being split in two like an egg, and my Aunt and Uncle being affected in some way. So election night comes and East Tennessee awakes to the news that West and Middle Tennessee was flattened by a F4 or F5 and the focus of the media and destruction is Union University and the 2 story brick college dorm that was destroyed. After that storm I never had the panic of an apartment building being in jeopardy again. But I still worried about my Aunt and Uncle in Arkansas. Then last storm ago for some reason I just stopped worrying about them. Well as Mom was driving me to Nashville for my Doctors appointment it was raining and storming so I had the Topamax on hand. I was telling her about these two events and she told me about how a couple of weeks ago My Aunt and Uncle were involved in a tornado. Nothing major. The storm blew the windows out of the office where he works now and I think damage the office he used to own. The two of them took shelter in the bathroom. The details came from my grandmother so they were sketchy. Had it been bad news I could really tell you what happened. Miss GuiltyKarma is one of their daughters (the ba-bay awwwww) so she may just correct me on this story.
The purpose of this story is NOT NOT NOT to claim that I am the next Sylvia Browne or what-not. I do believe there is truth to those who claim to be. I do not believe I am one of these. This story was to demonstrate how the storms have affected my new life. There is a change in me. It is like when my pain began was the day I was born. This year I will be turning four. To be consumed by something so willing to take one in.



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and Toto aka Nama, aka The wookie, The mogwai, The wooloey one. Fuzzy, and the long unused name Numey

When I was younger and before I was reborn I had a job setting up mobil-homes in Kentucky. A cash job and bootlegging to dry counties on the side. This was a Long Long Long time ago. :) ANYWAY My first tornado I was close to was in Kentucky. Our crew was in a hotel next to a field and storms where nearby. Luckily the hotel had a bar and this bar just happened to be one of the storm shelters. This bar also ran on a generator. Which kicked ass. So drunk and stupid outside I go and off in the distance I hear that train sound. I could feel the debris on my skin and in my teeth. Drunk and stupid and in complete darkness I was outside with a small twister. It was eire. Somewhere else in Kentucky later that same week one got real close. I wanted to go outside and be an idiot again. Keep in mind the whole time I was doing this job I stayed fucked-up, which was they only perk of that job, and with this mentality I am thinking let’s go outside and feel the storm again. Well my dumb-ass opened the hotel door and the tornado took the door off. So I go back inside now.
Fast-forward to me and the wookie living in Knoxville. It is daylight and that familiar looking sky is in the air. The funnel is beginning to draw itself. I am in a college area although I am not in college. There are a lot of idiots standing outside and hey I can understand this, I done this before. The sky is looking bad and me and the wookie are heading back inside. I grab my futon and put Nama in the bathroom. Her and I crouch down in the bathtub with the futon mattress over our heads and ride out the storm. I could hear that sound outside. The tornado hit the block over from us, the rich block, so hey the police where busy after that.


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if you believe in past lives
if you believe in such a thing
Then such must have been a Queen
a great ruler of a Kingdom
a monarch in her name
The Queens Beauty was her propaganda:
Though The Queen never wanted for anything
her job demanded that she take
The Queens followers were more than willing to
give what they were able to give, or make
and the strong of the knights were willing to take
what they could take
Her story of the throne was a complex one
yet a respectable as many legends are told
and with all great czars
underneath her beauty is a scar
the queens kingdom was in constant war
for the knights were eager to please her majesty
leaving behind the ruins symbolic to her internal tragedy
at night
she would hold a candlestick with six candles glowing
wondering the castle halls in the witching hours
her presence, her beauty, her hair and gown flowing

This day where her kingdom is, some still say
The Queen is still here wondering the decaying halls
an elegant beautiful ghost waiting for her pain to be healed
I say I have seen this Queen and she is everything-
the legends made her out to be
as a knight I want to conquer the world
just for my Queen, or in hopes that she will be my Queen
I believe in reincarnation
She is everything they said she would be
She is everything I need
The legends are true
all Hail to the Queen !!

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(warning I may re-edit this as I realize how I messed this up) :)
I am not used to this third person thing yet she is so worth the glorification. At least I believe so, and I am sure that I am not the only one to think this thought. I hope she realizes what a challenge and what a new path this is for me. I have NEVER written about anyone other than myself and if I did include someone else it was never in a positive light. But anyway. The challenge is fun if nothing else. Keeping my one fan eyes glued to the monitor. Look for more.

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Depending on if you believe in demons and spirits is for you to debate.
However, the new Mars Volta album was roughly about that. About a demon they had met from a Ouija board the band had bought in Israel. If you are going to buy a Ouija board I would say buy one in Israel. Now let me point out for debate TMV have played The Tabernacle in Atlanta before without incident. And just to ad fuel to the debate of is the band still being followed by demons? I am thinking The Tabernacle is the only converted church on their schedule. It now has been shut down by a tornado that hit downtown ATL less then two weeks ago. A tornado in the middle of a city. Chance? Divine intervention? You got me. All I know is this album fucking rocks and I hate I am going to miss this show. Seeing TMV play live is like watching a natural disaster, simply because when they walk off the stage you can destroy the stage because no other band will be needing it. Non stop and on time music. Awesomeness!! But not this weekend :(


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i would like to report a theft
someone has stolen my heart
she is so beautiful maybe sure she is a klepto
or perhaps she was just after mine because she heard I would not let go.
do you believe in angels?
I have thought this thorough
how could every word she say be so hypnotizing?
her laugh, her smile, her stunning beauty,
She did not walk she glided across the room,
perhaps she was on a cloud?
She scrambled every word that left my mouth,
because every thing I wanted to say stayed on my tongue.
Most importantly she stole my heart.
I have not had it since then.

Use caution when approaching her.
she is exquisite in many ways.


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