Jameson's in pajamas at the Glendale Galleria and missed flights are part of the two day blur leading up to my trip to NJ--a two days thoroughly enjoyed, but best put behind me.

1. Drinks are free in first class. The stewardess kept me swimming in Old No. 7 for a good five hours, unaware of the pharmaceutical relaxants I'd already imbibed to settle the nerves from the airport, the night before and the tumult of missing my first flight.

2. As the baggage claim carousel spun a few RPMs slower than the room around me, I pulled my parka hood tight over my face to hide from the world. Naturally, of the 7 billion people in the world, my boss from LA happens to be standing next to me. As I awkwardly stumbled over words I felt an empty bottle of Jack Daniels pounding the final nails into the coffin containing my job. I booked his flight for him, I secretly knew I would probably run into him, but alas...

3. As my dad drove me home and I was instructed to call my brother to check in his progress driving to NJ from VA. As I slurred and babbled to him about how bad Clerks 2 was, my dad drove 80mph directly into the corpse of a large deer which exploded into even smaller pieces of fur and flesh. I wondered how being partner to the dessicration of venison factored into veganism.

4. When I got home my mom spoke to me like I was a guest on some National Public Radio program about what was in our fridge and where to find bedding.

5. I woke up feeling a lot like that deer's corpse my father had further paved into Rt. 80 the night before and was brought to a lunch with two stock brokers I used to work with. The restaurant was the "Riverside Palm" and was located on the side of a damp interstate freeway not far from a Rockaway Bedding and Shell Gasoline Station. It lied to me twice and I hadn't even been inside yet.

6. On the way home we took my brother's car to Jiffy Lube. There was a framed photo of Tony Soprano on the wall signed, "To Jiffy Lube, Your Pal Tony." Mr. Soprano, in NJ, is a real person. The HBO series is actually a reality show and informs Garden Stater's what fashion trends are in, how to speak and where the best place to hide a body is.

7. A large woman bumped into me at Starbucks and said, "I'm sorry sweety pie." I decided that she could have accidentally given me a vasectomy and as a long as she called me "sweety pie" and apologized I'd give her a high five and go get my soy latte.

8. Driving along 287 in the state of freeways, I explained to my brother that I was contemplating graduate school for photography. He offered a lesson, "Don't take pictures of shit like that" and pointed out a non-descript mining/factory structure pumping white smoke into the air spotted with yellow construction lights. I, however, disagreed. That's EXACTLY what I want to take pictures of. I want to shove my camera into places where it doesn't belong, show things that aren't "beautiful" but are special and noteworthy in their own way.

9. At a bar called the "Orange Lantern" -- an establishment so old that they are permitted to stay open an hour later than all the other bars in NJ -- I glanced around at my dear childhood friends and the humbling decor. In place of the Budweiser tap was a red plastic NASCAR. It looked like the afterparty for a Chernobyl Survivors Convention. A rag tag band of long haired, dishevled men played cover songs on a small stage. One had a kilt on and I asked if he could play the Pogues...he looked confused and proceeded to play Black Sabbath, which was okay too I guess.

10. As I stood outside in the rain watching my best friend smoke a cigarette the guitarist from the band stumbled outside--with guitar in tow--and began wildly strumming. From inside I could hear my other friend singing "Born To Run" on stage. I realized that this wasn't depressing, it was actually really fucking amazing. This place can be sad and lonely and feel like dead end, but it can also be really inspiring, hilarious and a tinge magical. Its for the same reason people like Elvis in his ridiculous white and gold suit. Its kitsch, over the top and seems utterly unreal.

Sometimes, New Jersey.