They make goats from soysilk, its true. www.tofubear.com

An email from my friend:

Remember ripped fuel? My god. Not only did it make me jittery as shit
and never hungry until dinner, it made my cock narrow and then expand
again.

Like this:
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Another friend had a dream about me.

you....
were in my dreams last night
well i had a really long dream....
and you were n the whole thing
lets see... you had some crazy pimped out car that you drove real fast and scared me and you got stung by some bees aaaand.... your mom was getting us drunk.
have you ever seen "just friends" well ryan reynolds mom was your mom
hahahahah, that's sooo good! and then you coached me in pie eating contest.
and yo stopped being vegan and i got mad at you cause you tricked me into eating your moms chili and i dont even like chili
it was pretty ridiculi.


In other news, high five for Shamu for biting his training and dragging him under water, take that fucker.

I started betting on movie box offices grosses...Nativity better make over $14.5 M or its going to be a sad Christmas.

There's a lot of naked girls on this site, I like to push the limits of what I can get away with at work sometimes. I work in a Lego building and magic girls do donuts in the parking lot with vegan carrot cake and try to kidnap me, then I give them presents to make them go back to Mexico.

Pregnant women should not wear underwear for a few months after birth to air out their vaginas. Watch out for snail trails from women with infants. Paris does the same thing and her loose ass cooch blows in the wind like the sails on the SS Pinafore.

And lastly, my dear reader--for there is likely only one...

You are the best thing, in a good for nothing town.