Member : TheUberDork > journals > reading "it's all hallow's eve"

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it's all hallow's eve posted : 10/30/09 at 07:32pm pst listening to:t61

so I still don't really have any plans for Halloween.  My friends barely contact me, well they don't actually I have to call them, EVERY TIME.   do I have any friends?  if I'm always the one to contact them?   I'm worried I don't.  I mean I know I have some friends sure some are far away and some I talk to every day in one way or another.  but the people I used to call my friends,  don't even  call me anymore.

being unemployed is depressing,  working for a shitty boss is depressing.  I need to find what's right for me and I'm having a seriously difficult time figuring it out.

 

my heart tells me it would be better if it was satisfied,  but my brain says it shouldn't/doesn't matter  do what you do and everything will work out.  but I have a strong heart   but I look for this happiness in all the wrong places  (such as here).

listen to the lyrics, they aren't my own.  but they speak what I feel.  so I must not be completely alone right?  other's are going through the same,  or at least similar things.  maybe I should really pick up my bass and start trying with that a lot harder.  Bassists get chicks right?  I mean not as much as drummers, or singers... but??  no. 

 

I haven't even felt like taking pictures of anything lately, and that could be the one thing I could do right now that doesn't really cost me anything. but with 1 pretty mediocre lens I feel limited in what I can do, and what I can shoot. glass isn't cheap.  well good glass anyhow.

 

 

The funny thing about playing bass, and being a musical person in general:  I've always wanted to play the drums.  ALWAYS.  I'm always  pounding out beats (no sexual innuendo meant there). but I have trouble coordinating my hands and feet making actually playing on a kit very hard.  but I love the drums.  maybe someday I can buy a kit and try and learn

 

 

 

I'm having a hard time.  a hard time believing life gets better than this.  a hard time believing my self even. but I can only hope that someday it will be better.

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