TheAltruist's journals

Stop validating people's lack of creativity!

Don't draw lines in the sand when you should be making circles.

I can turn shit into chocolate...or at least I think I can.

Guess who just got rejected for grad school over the phone? yay. I hear this crunchy vibrating sound in my sleep ,fearing its my hard drive I snap awake only to realize that its my cellphone. I don't recognize the number *gasp* Dare I dream that its a job callback. No, its the admissions lady and I have five minutes to convince her that my low math score on the GMAT isn't indicative of me being a washout. I stumble /stutter through and was offered the chance to give up 500 bucks to take the GMAT again (which itself costs 250) I have 100 in my bank account. So all I have to do is take this class and score above the "I'm a verbal wunderkind who can't add and was drunk the whole summer before the test" level and I'm in ...NEXT year. Fucks. Oh and I get to go to school and get no credits for 6weeks (GMAT prep course. that's what the 500 is for. I literally just woke up) In better more irresponsible news I'm going to the beach for the first time in 4 years this weekend. I have no money but, I'm going to have the time of my life. Fleabag motels and ham sammiches here I come.

I just passed out. Yep I made it three weeks without drinking. Note to self don't go inside the liquor store when you drive your buddy there. Also pay attention to what he's doing on the phone. He decided to call the cops not once, not even twice, but three times while I was in the chat room talking to Darth Pinko. We didn't even talk that long! So I had to bail out of the chat because I thought the cops were on the way and my buddy kept typing really stupid shit on the keyboard while I was distracted by the blob or whatever the fuck was on tv and the fact that he called the cops three times for funsies. But, thank satan the cops just ignored him and gave more ridiculous tickets or whatever it is they do these days.I thought for sure I was gonna have to hop out the window and go hide in the woods behind my old house. Yeh, so it looks like I'm gonna try this no drinking thing again starting now. uggggggh:zippermouth:

So I went camping this weekend bears attacked(not really stupid people fed them and they wouldn't go away and everyone acted like we were in that stupid movie with anthony hopkins and alec baldwin.Me I just went back to sleep.figured it was safer than being outside with trigger happy asians.)

So my boy is "single" for the weekend. What does that mean? Oh he is now able to get ungodly levels of drunk. I broke my alcohol abstinence to have a few birus with him. I was driving so he had most of the beer. So by the time we leave he's wasted. He decides to start yelling shit at "emo" kids. One of the kids runs up to the car mouthing off. My buddy is all "I got my nine in the glove step off" (this is true). Me I laugh at the total testorone bullshit fest. I would worry but, I know the kid won't make a move. He's on his own ( all of his "friends" bailed.) and if he did make a move I was pretty sure I could take him down before drunk and fumbly could pop the glove. So after an ol' fashioned stare down  we pulled off laughing. This is why I'm trying so hard to quit drinking. Stupid immature shit always happens. A town kids never learn.:roll: "knuck then!"

*sigh* my dad just called me to ask me if he could give my number to some girl from his church so she can invite me to church. I was staring at this sweet custom painted ipod so I said yes. Well not really-she's calling me now shit...wait crap.ok I'm back.where was I...oh yeah  I could blame it on the Ipod but its wrong to malign something so beautiful
(in hindsight its not that cool.I blame my fascination with shiny things)---I did it because I'm a dumbass .
1.My dad's church is really creepy.speaking in tongues,"church" is actually a former buffet joint creepy
2.Church girls-been there done that--scarred for life
3.I'm an agnostic leaning towards atheism(dad refuses to accept this)
4.I'm positive that this girl is ugly. I'm just saying.Who begs someone's dad to give them their number.She's never met me. Someone told her I was handsome and she's been harassing my dad ever since.

So now I'm gonna have some random crazy church girl calling me. Its junior year of college all over again.Fuck me.:s

So it's the first day of my favorite season and the longest day of the year. Because of this many cultures have deemed this day sacred. Me I find too much joy in sacrilege to go that far but... I've got this feeling in my gut. Today is special. I want to do something. More specifically I wanna accomplish something. Something out of the ordinary for me. But, I just don't know what. Good thing its the longest day of the year.:clock:*the beeping sound from 24 starts(in my head...just wanted to clarify)*

It all started when I looked at the calendar a couple of months ago looking for my lucky day. Turned out May 13 was on a Sunday not a Friday…shit. Turns out May 13 is Mother’s Day SHIT! What do you get a woman who’s little sister birthday is also Mother’s Day. Oh and her little sisters also recently dead (extremely recently). Huh yeah I was fucked from the start.

So the days turned to weeks and finally I had seven days left and no ideas. I figured I’d do the usual wander around Wal-Mart or Tarjay(preferably Tarjay) til something came to me or caught my eye on Friday. So I chilled and continued my Gmat search (nope never found it. I did find my social security card though.)But, a plan came to me. I figured I’d take her out to lunch. She’d love that maybe, probably; hopefully. Oh and boys aren’t the only ones that suck girls suck too what with your ritualistic bleeding. What’s up with that?

So Friday came and …uh I read the invisibles and lurked Godsgirls all day and I think I played Gears of war for an hour or two. Oh and I can’t forget about that emergency Gilmore Girls Marathon. Then in the evening well 28 Weeks later came out. It was my monster flick geek duty to get drunk and sit in the front row being obnoxious. The movie was good but, not anywhere near as good as the first. Although I didn’t really get drunk enough. I didn’t even take my shoes off. So I figured there’s still Saturday.HMMM
Saturday I went to Alabama. Well to the state line. Len asked me (technically on Friday maybe. I was kind of drunk. I don’t remember.)and I’m a sucker for a road trip. St.Judas patron saint of letting loved ones down.So we went to Bama picked up some fireworks. Dropped Justin off had the cheapest pitcher of beer in the county I wager at THE Mexican restaurant(this is out of order but it all happened before two or so). Then we came back and I supervised Len and Jason working on Len’s GF’s car. By supervise I mean I drank most of two 12 packs and sang (more like howled/slurred/pumped my fist and foot) to the new Fallout Boy and realized that I liked it a lot( FUCK YOU SCENE KIDS!!!) I also lifted heavy stuff. Then we went to Spondivits and I sipped on some water and stole this thing. (Oh and I kept encouraging our waitress to kick the hostess in the shins. I even wrote it on her tip. Kicking motherfuckers in the shins is the normal person equivalent of nuking countries.) I still can’t figure out what it is. It looks cool though. It is a utensil sized yellow plastic thing with an end shaped like a crab’s claw. I’m gonna stab people with it I guess. Then I passed out at Len’s place because my DD managed to actually be drunker than me lol. And on the way home asshole Forest Park cops gave my friend a ticket for 54 in a 40. WTF?!!? Only in our hometown. It prolly would have helped if three drunk guys weren’t going crazy in the backseat. Sorry Walter. SO I figured there’s still that crack of dawn Walmart bumrush.Yeahhhh…..
The crack of dawn turned out to be 8:30.Drinking makes for good sleeping, even on midget couches with your legs dangling. So me and Jason headed to the mart. He also didn’t have a Mother’s day gift he revealed (funny since he gave me a hard time about me not having one. what an ass. It is about this time that I realize that I am a horrible son).So I find mom a purse similar to one she asked me to fix but, I really didn’t fix it. I just superglued my hands together. Get it? Superglue is not a toy? *sigh* So I found this purse nice enough for Wal-Mart and proceed to fill it with her favorite candy and later a bag of ruffles chips from my dinner at Spondivits that I didn’t finish because I was hung over and busy stealing random things. So we got to the self checkout and I slip a ten dollar bill in the appropriate place. But, maybe I should have taken the scotch tape (wtf?!?)Off of it? Because, the machine jammed. But, while they were repairing it I got a picture of the inside of it with my cell phone. Oh its destroyer’s 13 (maybe like two don’t feel like splitting the money so many ways).Gonna rob them bitches. Well the picture’s kind of fuzzy actually. Then we went and had breakfast and I finally made it home…and mom wasn’t there she had gone to church. Which, was actually probably for the best anyway seeing as I probably smelled like a wino, and sounded like a recycling truck(I had all of the beer caps in my pocket).
So I cleaned up and thought about my gift. It still seemed really weak. But, I had come to the conclusion that nothing I could give her could really do anything to ease her pain except my support. So I made her a card. I downloaded a poem tweaked it to my liking ,raided flickr for pics of her favorite flower and actually found one in the house to press into the card. Then I drank a lot of water.
She loved it. I think. It seemed like she did. My card was better than dad’s cept his wasn’t wrinkled…and was in color.Yep..I’m a horrible son. Whatever...maybe I’ll finally help her compile that recipe book.