So yeah I'm coming to a realization, and I need to stop, rethink things, redirect my life, get my mind right. I've been thinking too much about the future, I'm down and bored with no job, but things aren't looking too good. I've kinda let school slip a bit. I've become more anti social than I promised myself I would be. Instead of having no life and money, I have no life and no money. Theres not even a chic I'm crushing on, but who the fuck cares, I'm giving up on that shit, even though I want a relationship. and total guy comment I want sex with meaning.

I gotta stop and take a look at things like I did this summer, when I decided to go back to school, start taking meds again, and got a job where I'm around people all day. I had a good time last semester, but I'm not in the right state of mind right now. I gotta stop my head from racing around the bend and take each day as it comes. Live for the moment, go step by step, but fuck I dont have too much motivation to get off my ass and do that, but I gotta do it.


Okay its funny, I can go into any store, even where they have uniforms and no matter what, I get asked if I work there, or a customer asks me to help them with something. IDK what it is, but from walmart to H&M I get it.
Another funny thing, or kinda sad depending on how you see it, I can be in a store looking around and I help people pick things out, almost like I'm working there and selling stuff. I actually like doing that. its weird. I think its cuz I did that every day for 6 months I kinda miss it.