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I figured I would make this my first posting... I probably wont post too often, but hopefully when I do, people read the thoughts I write and find them interesting in some way.

My latest class is for my minor concentration, which happens to be Journalism. The class is "Writing for the Mass Media." It's pretty good so far, but as you can probably guess, it's laden with writing. At the end of the chapter I just read, there is an interesting (and quite comical) little sub-article. It reads as follows:

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DON'T WRITE LIKE THIS

Here are examples of bad writing that came from statements made on insurance forms. Car drivers attempted to summarize the details of their accidents in the fewest words possible.

* Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

* The other car collided with mine without warning of its intentions.

* I thought my window was down, but I found out it was up when I put my head through it.

* I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

* A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

* The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

* I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

* In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

* I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

* I was on my way to the doctor with read-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have engine trouble.

* I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

* My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

* The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.

* A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

* As I approached the intersection, a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.

* I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

* I saw a slow-moving, sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

* I told police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a fractured skull.

* An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

* The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth. I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

* The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end.

* To avoid hitting the bumper on the car in front, I hit a pedestrian.

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Ok, seriously, this stuff is really written in my textbook. I didn't make these up or get them from an email. And although many of them are pretty morbid, I couldn't help but laugh my ass off while reading them (I think that was the point of the article, though.) If you don't find these funny, or most of them anyway, then you have a broken funny bone. :P