I almost just texted my ex, but i'm fighting back the urge. I want to tell him i miss him, but know that my horrible sense of humor will come in right after in attempt to cover up the sweet vulnerable intimate place i've just gone to.

Yeah, i went there.

And so if i tell him that i miss him, i'd have to then say 'Sometimes'. 'Just a little bit'. 'Until i remember what an asshole you are'.

But he always thought these kinds of things that I say were cute, so he'd laugh it off, call me a little shit, and carry on being an asshole never realizing that it'sfunny because it's true. it's awkward cause it's honest. i'm saying it because i'm thinking it and i'm thinking it because that's how i feel. 

i'm not an emotional person, i'm not going to sit around crying about it, i'll just say what's on my mind. listen. while i'm still talking to you. 

ohhh, wait....