I have decided to try quitting smoking again.  I currently have 3 cigarettes left in the pack.  When those are gone, later today, I am going to start wearing nicotine patches for a while, and I am going to quit smoking again.

I have been smoking a pack a day for about 22 years.  The longest that I have ever quit was for 4 months, about 5 years ago.  During that 4 months, I gained 40 pounds and said "screw it, I am going back to smoking".  I spent that entire 4 months as an incredibly miserable, irritable, short-tempered, scowling, unhappy individual.  I was seriously beginning to act like a typical non-smoker.  I kept asking people "why in the hell do you non-smokers even bother to get up in the morning, when your lives are this miserable?"  I was extremely disappointed to find out that the whole "things will smell better and food will taste better" thing is just a load a bullshit that non-smokers tell smokers, to try to trick them.  At around that same time, my wife quit for about a year.  Her experience was about as miserable as mine, and she also agreed that the smelling and tasting thing was bullshit.  If anything, the eating experience is WORSE, because you can't enjoy a nice cigarette afterward.

I have been working on getting my regular exercise and diet routine going, for the past few weeks.  Hopefully, I will be able to continue with that, to help counteract some of the weight gain that will occur, when my metabolism drops down to that of a non-smoker (yes - smoking actually DOES increase your metabolism - that part is not a joke).  The last time I quit, I spent most of my time lying on the couch in unfulfilled misery, because I just did not have the energy to get up and do anything.  Plus, there was no incentive to go out and exercise.  What in the hell is the point of doing a 3 mile run and then a brisk 9 mile walk, when you can't even enjoy the reward of a nice, relaxing cigarette when you are done?!?!?!  THAT is my regular routine, and the cigarette at the end is the BEST part of it!

My wife is also quitting again.  Luckily, I am stationed in the Pittsburgh area, and she is living in our home in another state.  If we were both quitting at the same time, in the same place, then we would definitely be in the newspapers for a murder or murder-suicide.  I don't know which one of us would end up killing the other first, but it would be one hell of a race, once we both started thinking and acting like a couple of filthy, nasty, disgusting, cruel, mean, heartless NON-smokers!  We both took last week off from work and spent 9 really nice days together.  We intentionally waited until AFTER that to quit smoking, because we didn't want to try to spend time together while quitting.  Neither of us is planning on visiting the other, until at least sometime in August.  I have a 4 day weekend starting today, so it is a good time to quit now, because during the first 4 days of becoming a non-smoker, I won't be tempted to send one of my co-workers flying through my second floor window!

Well, I guess I am about to embark on a life of unfulfilled misery.  I am about to voluntarily make my own life horrible again.  If any of you happen to see a news story about a 6'5", 250 pound man rampaging through the streets of Pittsburgh, grabbing people at random, tossing them around like rag-dolls, and finally being brought down by about 30 or 40 rounds of ammunition being shot into him by the police, then well... umm... you probably should not expect to ever see me posting again. 

Has anyone else ever noticed that ever since they started all of this silly "anti-smoking" bullshit just a few years ago, in the 80s, there has been a marked increase in random violence, random shootings, people suddenly going psychotic for "no apparent reason", etc.?  Coincidence???  I think NOT!!!

P.S. - Only 2 cigarettes left!