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Foreverking
05/01/08 04:14 am pst
Listening to:

It's been a week now since I've started taking Lexapro and I can say it's changed my whole outlook on life. I know and recognize that it's chemical induced and that this isn't just "me" but at the same time I have to acknowledge the fact that if this is what people normally feel like on a day to day basis then I do see how bad off I have been, maybe my whole life.
I recognize I was depressed and have been maybe since I was in Jr. High school. It's like the first time you put on glasses when you never knew you needed them... I never knew you could feel like this.
I have not cried in a week.. I almost did Saturday looking at pictures from the day I married Sarah, but only a single tear streamed down my face. I have not thrown up, I have not been angry, I have not been so bad off I wished I were dead.
I feel complete and good and I feel it all on my own without relying on Sarah or anyone else to bring me what I felt I needed in order for me to be "happy".

This has also lead Sarah and I to be able to get along really well. I love my wife, I really do and I hope that this can help turn our separation around I understand how hard I have been to get along with and I know it had to have been very difficult to be with someone like me. And all I can do at this point is try, hope and pray.
Speaking of Sarah, she got a (pretty much) brand new Honda Fit yesterday. It's an adorable little car and she really loves it.

Other than that, nothing much is going on. Work, home, work, home.. that's my life. I may be going to see Clutch play here in Fayetteville this Saturday but I'm not sure yet. As of right now I can't find anyone who wants to go with me, and I really don't want to go to a concert alone, so I may not be going... this is when it really sucks not having friends.

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Heidi 05/01/08 08:26 am pst

I am VERY glad to hear you started medication for depression. So many people refuse to do that. I started taking Celexa and Seroquel some months ago and it literally saved my life.


Huzzah!

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Foreverking 05/01/08 03:33 pm pst

Thanks. It took me a long time to admit that I needed help, I'm glad I'm feeling so much better now.

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