Member : Faintofmatts > blogs > reading "Untitled"

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posted : Mar 18, 2017 @ 05:20AM pst

I wish I had an outlet to be truly honest about how I feel.

Or the courage to be that honest if even such an outlet existed.

I've learned a bunch of lessons over the last couple of weeks that, in all honesty, I was way happier before I learnt.

I don't know how to move forward with that information.

I mean, theoretically it's really fucking simple, but seismic life changes are rarely simple especially when there's enough momentum behind a certain chain of events.

Even as I type that it sounds like a massive cop out. And it probably totally is. The fear of making the changes that I recognise need to happen are paralysing me into making the same mistakes over and over again.

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This is so similar to the way I do things, I struggle with change in a lot of aspects in my life. I hope you've been able to make some decisions since this post


posted Mar 31, 2017 @ 02:54AM pst

You literally moved to the other side of the world though! You have way more of a handle on changing your life than I do haha!

I'd like to think that I've at least started down the road to making some, if not significant then at least beneficial changes to the way I lead my life over the past few weeks. But I tend to do that once or twice a year and then in a matter of months it's right back to the status quo. So I'm hoping it actually sticks this time.

Even if I can just continue to live up to my desire to start putting myself first and acknowledging that I'm worth more than just constantly being the one to put myself out to try to maintain friendships and personal relationships I'll consider that a win.

posted Mar 31, 2017 @ 05:22PM pst

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