Member : Dedfishies > blogs > reading "Panties 2.0"
i may have made the mistake of getting an Aerie credit card. now it's soft panties, all the time. sometimes i feel like an awkward poster child for the salvation army. now i feel like an awkward poster child for aerie and american eagle. #shamelessplug?
with no romance or sexy times on the horizon, i've been on a bit of a spending binge. my budget has turned into liquid poo...i'm basically just flushing all my emergency funds, because my bipolar disorder has taken priority due to limited social distractions.
although, i did dye my hair purple. something i've been wanting to do since high school, and have never done.
i think i've gone into a manic whirlwind of spending and overeating due to my best friend getting married, and getting her life together. i keep going through these weird scenarios, where she comes back from Didney Worl to set up house, and i don't hear from her for what feels like an eternity.
something similar happened with another close friend. she went on a road trip with her new boyfriend last august, and i haven't seen her since, now that she's moved in with him.
i'm approaching 30. the big 3 0. i still live with my parents, work part time, still in school, one friend, no social life, no significant other (not that i really want one). my best friend denies my fears, but she's the kind that has no peripheral. we've been through this before.
so, sadness begets sadness, and i keep spending all my hard earned money on things i don't necessarily need. like dying my hair, buying brand name jeans, bras and panties, and so many books. i spent $186 on a pair of booties last month. no regrets...but i've never spent that much on shoes. my Docs don't even cost that much.
my dissociation is getting worse as well. soooooo much worse. i can hardly ever get a handle on reality. i think these days i feel more fulfilled by fiction than reality. the same way i felt a little over ten years ago when i was still in high school...dealing with things far beyond my maturity level. they say that trauma can contribute to disassociation.
regardless, i do have things to look forward to. on wednesday i have an interview with Grassroots Campaigns. and i'm planning a small vacation for just me.
small question for the members here: where is a good destination spot within the US? i've been thinking it's high time to visit CA for the first time. i have a friend i made on SG back in 2009, and we've never met. i also want to see Portland, Seattle, see places with some serious arts and culture. if anyone has any suggestions, i'll start planning a trip. :)