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Yeah, that got you reading. So in the past few days I've managed to get my hood pierced, and an epic cold. Snuffle snuffle sniff. Before I start whining, let me tell you about my amazing experience with MY FIRST GENITAL PIERCING WOOOOO YAYYYY *small fanfare*.

I've wanted my hood done for a while now - it's cute, and they say they feel good. My partner's in PA for 3 weeks so I figure if I'm not having sex anyway, I might as well take this chance and get it done at a good time. I wanted a vertical, but a horizontal was suggested as looking good so, of course, out came the hand mirror. Oh shit, that WOULD look adorable. Shit, that's what I want. I booked myself in at Skinworks, where I've had all my tattoos done but none of my piercings - I had one done in a hairdressers when I was 9, and two done in Claire's, in France, when I was 13. The other 15 I've had done at Otherside, a piercing studio in town here. For a while I thought about going there - I mean Stu of Otherside did my nipples and that was fine - but I wanted to see how this'd go at Skinworks. Came back for my appointment and got led into a cute room in in the back.

Okay, sit up on the edge of here, put your feet on my knees, and open your legs.

Oh shit I thought I could do this with them closed, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck I HAVE TO SHOW YOU MY-

It wasn't that bad. I've modelled nude so it didn't squick me out, just struck me as surreal. We spent a load of time marking me out, applying anaesthetic and clamps - when it came to the piercing I felt nothing at all - I thought when James said we were done that we were done with the anaesthetic! Man, why I didn't do this sooner is beyond me. It was a breeze. My lip piercings hurt more than that. Jeez.

Walked outta that joint and had coffee with Tasha, who found this all a little hilarious. She's a jerkbutt like that. Drooled over some dresses in town, got yelled at by a crazy old lady. Went home and promptly shat bricks.

HOW AM I GONNA PEE WITH THIS OH MY GOD. THE STERILE PEE MIGHT LIKE, KILL IT. OH GOD. Yes, I can be that much of a retard sometimes. Turns out wiping was more awkward than peeing. But I'll shut up about the technicalities of my urogenital exploits.

It's sooooooooo cute. But I want to swap it out for a pink titanium smooth segment ring, or barbell. PIIINK. And I can't yet. I can't even masturbate. And yet here I am, sat on GodsGirls, drooling over naked chicks, and throbbing downstairs even more than usual.

WORST IDEA EVER.

Also whine whine whine I have a cold and it's going to my chest, bluhhh.