Courtney's journals

www.myspace.com/distilla_junkie

i think my account will remain active till next month sometime...ahhhhhh i don't want to leave :(

I just had to cancel my godsgirls account due to my poor income and the fact that i'm getting sued. They want me to give them $125 a month to go towards my debt and with the place i'm moving into this August i can no longer afford extra fun expenses such as this...i'm feeling really fuckin' low right now, but i hope that in a years time, i will be back to being an active member of the site. Until then, add me as your friend on Myspace, pleeeeeeeease, and show me some love cause i'll be needing it really bad.

They tacked on Court costs and attourny expenses to the original amount owed...otherwise i'd probably be a whole lot better right about now...i love you all and i'll try to come back as soon as possible and be more involved...i just wish that life wasn't shit right now.

<3

All i want is some ice tea, perhaps a cold beer and a fuckin' sandwich...and a good movie, fuck outdoors in this mess, my skin is too pastey for this 'sun business' BAH!

I got to work in a nice hot-ass kitchen all day too, on top of 90 degree heat, woot! Monday it's supposed to be cooler, like...72 degrees and that's preeeeeetty sweeeet, cause it's my day off and we're going hiking!!  Stoked.

 

<3 it's movie timeeeeeee!

So i stayed up til 2:30 in the morning with my friends Heidi and Josh playing RockBand on the X-Box...ha, i feel like a total geek but it was pretty fun. I was singing and he kept picking out "Mystery Songs" so i wouldn't know what i was singing until it came on, and i tell ya, there was a few songs on there i just don't know, things like: Deep Purple, Fall out Boy (i reeee-hee-heeeeely hate them with a passion), Coheed and Cambria, there was a couple other 'southern rock' songs on there i didn't know. It was hilarious because i just kept singing "Doo-doo-doo Dooooooooo's" to try to hit the pitch and i was drinking this wine i'd never had before so i started getting really goofy, like when REM's 'Orange Crush' came on i kept making up words and throwing in things like lobotomy, dicotomy,apistomology, geometry....shit like that. At least they didn't put "End of the World (as we know it)" on there, i'd have been fucked during the verses of that song. ....He made me sing Enter Sandman by Metallica....i feel dirty.

So i literally just got out of bed and started writing this because i find it strange that i didn't wake up til almost 2 in the afternoon, i think my wine put me in a fuckin' coma. I did drink like the whole bottle except for the one glass heidi drank and i had gotten up for work at like 5am yesterday...so i guess my body just gave up and didn't set it's internal alarm.

I should go for now and take a shower and all that goodness, i think i'm hungry too. haha...i'm always hungry. I need sustanace!!

P.S. My freind Heidi hates Parker Posey so much that she was working it into the songs on Rockband...it was hilarious...my freind Val hates her too and i've never seen such a deep mutual hatred for someone they've never met, and they don't really know each other very well either so i found it funny that they share that off the wall kind of enthusiasm about it. It was just a strange observation i made last night ;)

<3 <3 <3 <3

 

Ok ok OK! I've been neglecting my bloggly duties, I know...I'm failing to represent. Haha, but it's because these past 3 weeks have been effing Amazzzzing, with 4 Z's even! Firstly, i failed to blog about my friend Fred (john) came into town from Bellingham and stayed at our place, bought us 3 cases of Fat Tire and paid my way into a sweet gig in Portland even though i had to work at 6am the next day, i would have regreted not going big time. Plus i hadn't seen Fred in 2 years! He even has a beard now! PROOF:

This guy is so tiny i can pick him up and shake him around, it's a fun game i like to play. So, really he is the same except he lives with his girlfriend in Bellingham and he has beardness....OH! and he told me he'll be most likely moving to Portland in August which is when i'll be moving there so, i'm pretty excited about that business...stoked is more like it. I have more pics of our drunk singing-crazyness:

I look like a ScaryFase in that last one. There is more of these on myspace.com/distilla_junkie...that's me of course ;)

The weekend after that was Cat Power Weekend! Jon accidentally bought the wrong tickets like a month in advance so we ended up driving down to Eugene, on what happened to be, the hottest day of the year so far. It was one of the most gorgeous days i've seen in ages. The whole day was amazing. We left Vancouver around 2:30pm got stuck in traffic, which kinda sucked, but it didn't put us behind much. We got to Eugene early enough to eat a delicious dinner at a paninni sandwich shop. I had a Ahi Tuna paninni on foccasia bread with a wasabi vinagarette...mmm best sandwich EVAR! I drank a yummy beer with it and then we went walking around looking at the shops that were open and discovered this awesome Cafe'/Wine bar. So, of course we had to get an espresso and some cheesecake before the show, it was sooooooooooooo good, i can't even describe the look on my face and i was lame-ass and left the camera at home because i didn't want to have to worry about it. I didn't know the venue i was going to and i'm used to getting my shit looked through at shows and being told i can't bring cameras in and whatnot...so of course, this place didn't even pat us down let alone give a shit about pictures being taken. I kicked myself hard on that one, because the show was fucking incredible. Cat Power is the shit, Chan Marshall's voice was so amazing and clear and beautiful...she brought tears to my eyes when she played 2 of my favorite sad songs in a row and i was holding back by biting my lip and hiding behind my beer because i didn't want to cry, it's just a physical reaction that happens when i get emmersed in her music. I bought a Cat Power and the Dirty Delta Blues Band tee and a red hoodie that is all big and comfy, i wore it on the ride home and we didn't get home til after 2am, i got after-show booty of course, it's kinda mandatory after seeing good live music. Especially music that put tears in my eyes. That whole day was seriously euphoric.

I also finished this amazing fucking book that Alice must go read right away, i command it! Love is a Mix Tape by Rob Sheffield:

It's a memoir which i've been really into lately, this book broke my heart and restored it again but left it with a deep underlying ache that is real. And it's a good book for music lovers and it made me incredibly nostalgic, which i kinda like feeling sometimes. *sings* MEEEEEMORIES....

I'm sure more things happened in those 2 weeks like lots of art project goodness with my friend Val, we totally decopodged light switch covers that are now put up in my place, so fun!! i suggest it as a great past time when your just sittin with a friend chatting it up, make a lightswitch cover, it's good times!

So now yesterday i got to see another friend that came into town from Bellingham! MY TRISTIIIIIIN!!! The mexi-punkrock-cowboy of greatness! I love this person, i thought he was incredible from the moment i met him through Val and Jeff. He is always fun and enthusiastic and loves music and plays a mean guitar himself, and he's talented in alot of genres of music as well. I did get pics of all that fun business yesterday that i suppose i'll share with you now ;)

Above: Val, Jeff (i don't kow what he's doing), Tristin doin a 'slow jerk' haha

Above: Tristin striking a pose...his teeth are really white for a hobo ;)

Above: Tristin and Val making faces (which is what often happens when pics are taken of the both of them.

Above: Sex moves? 5 fingers bitch! and the shocker!!

Above: I think this is the first and only picture of Tristin and I...and it rocks of course!

And then the day had to come to and end, but not to worry more Tristin action to come because he'll be here through the weekend, which i have off coincidentally! So YAY! Things are fantastic. OH OH OH! and i almost forgot to share that i have someone moving into the spare room until the lease is up, i'm so stoked my friend Syd is going to live here! She started moving a few things in this week and tomarrow she gets her key and she has a job interview too! WOOT! Things are really starting to turn around for me finally, now i just hope it stays good and no more surprises of the icky nature. I did some shopping too and got the new Hot Chip CD and the new Tapes n Tapes....good stuff...also a couple more books and some magazines and all that good stuff...i'm stoked about everything lately...rediculous!!

Ok well, i'm late for bed cause i gotta get up at 5am so i should probably cut this short now...really so much has happened lately, i'll try to be better about coming on hear and jotting great things down real quick instead of trying to save it all up and make a super long boring all over the place kinda blooooorg. I love you guys and thank you for tuning in to retards on strike....see you later now!

<3

P.S.

P.P.S. I love you Alice! <3 <3 <3

 =^_^=

 

So i woke up at 6:30 this morning and couldn't sleep again, i got up as one would, instead of wasting my time to no prevail for sleep to return. I've been listening to Blitz while drinking coffee for the last hour or so. Multi-tasking between playing with the kitties and their new "kitty condo" we picked up last night and downloading random tuneage for the day....and uploading new pics like the beaut you see above. No makeup, freshly awaken, with my mug of choice ;) full of hazelnut coffeeness.

Good news is as follows:

~My broken car is now completely paid off as of yesterday! No more car payments, now i just have to get my taxes done so we can take the car in and get it fixed.

~I've cleaned the spare room up and made a space for myself to write and "strait meditate like a buddhist." It feels like the most positive transition for it so far. Especially since we don't plan on using it for anybody else...except i did put together a cardboard box for the kitties to play with in there too, so they don't feel left out.

~We've made some positive choices on cutting back...like i'm getting rid of cable soon and taking the phone charges off of my comcast bill, so i'll just have internet for communication and entertainment. I've dedicated much more time to reading instead anyhow, the only one who will be butt hurt is jon, he loves his TV. I wasn't deprived of crap tv when i was little so i try to understand his "plight"...but it's still funny. At least he was the one who suggested getting rid of it so i won't feel too bad. At least he'll still be able to watch OPB. ;)

~Mom is going to be coming over Sunday. She has a blender for us, and we're gonna make margaritas!!! For someone who is not a fan of tequilla, there is far too much of it still in my freezer. I like me some margaritas though...and i'm probably going to pick up some goods to make a tasty dinner. WOOT!

~I'll have less distractions therefor i'll get out of the house more and exercise.

~When there is no cable tv in the house i magically become *gasp* MORE CREATIVE! Who woulda thought!

~We won't be able to afford going out so i'll be getting more creative in the kitchen and make more amazing veggie dishes. I'm thinkin' pot pies, yo!

~My friends here have been fucking amazing and supportive and i think about them everyday and their ever-existing awesomeness! I'd be lost with out you guys..and i know Jon doesn't read this but he already knows that without him, i'd be in a gutter somewhere...probably not really, because my friends wouldn't allow it, but you know. At least we still get to have our own place, even if it means i'm poor, i still have fun because my friends and Jon make me laugh everyday. I love you.

~Oh and i can't forget Jill and Eric! I love you guys too and thank you very much for visiting me and eating sweet custard! I look forward very much to the next time i see you. I miss you guys the most-est!

~My sister, Angel, found me on myspace of all places and we've been chatting it up lately and trying to catch up. Seeing as i havn't seen her in ohhhhh, about 10 years or so, it's been crazy...alot of people didn't even know i had a real sister...haha. Luckily, it's made me feel nothing but happiness. A lot of people know that family is a touchy subject for me and that i don't want to be disappointed again, so i'm glad things have been going good with that business and such.

~Oh and i had a gnarly spider bite on the top of my ear this week and the other day i sqeezed a bunch of green and brown goo out of it...that's now good news, the good news is it doesn't hurt anymore and it's not rotting off so, ha! Stupid spider! I hope i squished you in my sleep!

~Other good news......i thought it was going to rain all weekend but ohhhhshit! It's fucking sunny out on my weekend off! And Jon has a saturday night off, which NEVER happens! So we're gonna have fun tonight, we don't know what we're doing yet, and it doesn't even matter...cause whatever it is, it's gonna be great.

Alrighty roo! I'm going to end this post with some pics of good stuff:

Above: Charlie Murphy (my kittles!)

Above: My good friend Val Tron!

Above: Jon (Goddamn) Langdon, my man and the Awesome...

Look what i can do!

So my mom is THE AWESOME and brought me a new espresso machine over for Valentines Day and said, "i don't need it, you guys will get more use out of it." SWEET! So i got up and made her a double hazelnut latte at 5am cause when she stayed over, i had to go to work...perfect timing. It makes all kinds of delicious treats so...come over and i'll make you either a rasberry white choco mocha, a regular rasberry mocha, a hazelnut mocha, a french vanilla latte....well, you get the picture...i'll make you a damn tastey bevvy. :) I could even put steamed milk in my chai teas now! I'm really excited about the whole thing really, as if you couldn't tell by my EXXXTREAM use of capitals and exclamation points!!!!!! haha...and i've perhaps had too much coffee today already ;)

Here is my phoebe-face kitty:

And here is another XXXTREAM picture of the BLOOD RED SKY!!!! ohhhhh geez....

I don't know why these pics of the sky came out so blurry, i think it's cause my boyfriend took them and he never knows what setting to put the camera on when taking certain pictures (no matter how many times i show him) so he just does the auto adjust lazy-digi-cam-quick-pics....

It still has really pretty colors....and you can kinda see a bird in the tree on the left too. Ok so i should get ready to go soon, we're going out galavanting in Portland today, so maybe i'll have new pics next time too ;) It's incredibly pretty and sunny out today so YAY! i'm waaaaay too eXcited! ....really, i do need to calm down a little...it's gettin real crazy up in here...

<3 Courtney

Today is good. Here is a picture i took a couple days ago to celebrate beauty and happiness:

I took it from my kitchen window. It's not even edited at all...i love dusk, it's by far my favorite time of day.

It appears i never write on here...ever. And i just deleted every blog i ever wrote on myspace which dated back to 2005. It's been hard lately and i just needed to let all of that go, good and bad...and start over. Things got way too intense for awhile. So since none of my personal friends are subscribed to GG i think i'll let it fly on here. I couldn't speak my mind anymore on my blog so from now on i'll say what i want to say, just to people who probably won't read it. That's fine. I just think it's really shitty that a good portion of my friends (basically all my guy friends) don't want to look at things i talk about objectively. They can't seem to look at things from any other point of view to see why all the topics i talked about pissed me off to begin with. I never named names or blatently pointed fingers at anyone i just wrote how i felt...and they can't deal with me having an opinion about anything. I'm sorry if i don't feel like cutting and pasteing shit that noone cares about, i used my blogs to discuss how i was feeling and why...shit, isn't that what it's for? The problem was i didn't believe in privatizing anything i wrote, i found it to be dishonest...hah...now no one wants to talk to me...and havn't in like 2 weeks. i'm just laying low to see how it turns out. Whatever. i'm moving to Portland in August so if they don't think my freindship is worth a fuck i guess i'll be starting over. It's shitty that they would be willing to throw away 7, some of them 11 years, of friendship over me having fucking feelings. Fuck em. I know i have problems, but i can't afford to pay someone to pick my brain apart, so i'm trying to work it out on my own, and the friends that can't stand by me on my search to find myself must not be very good friends then. I don't know who to talk to about OCD and anxiety, some people don't even want to bother being freinds with someone who has obsession issues, but it's more just me being negative when things arn't going great (like people have a tendency to do) and then i blame myself and mull it over and over and over again til i can't concentrate on anything because i'll be obsessing over thinking people are mad at me over stupid shit. I have a tendency to dwell....i worry too much.

I just don't want to become jaded and unrecognizable...that terrifies me.

On to more positive things...i got a haircut, and it's my favorite evAR!!!

this was me fuckin' around in the bathroom...i love it because it looks different every day, it's so versatile!

Alright i'm going for now, i have to go shopping for a Valentines day pressy before he gets home. ;)

 

Yup...getting ready to eat some Barbeque Bratwursts, mmmmmmmmmmmm. Just got a grill yesterday and it's come in pretty handy for 2 dinners so far. Since i'm a cook at work, i really don't like to come home and cook, i don't get off work til 6pm so by the time i get home i'm already hankerin' for some grub so my boyfriends been helping me out with dinner, it's pretty great. I didn't really have much to say with this entry but thought i'd acknowledge that i'm still here ;)