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ever have on of those friends that no matter what it is always a trial to be friends with them?  one that is always at the root of their own problems?

well i do, and i went out drinking with him on friday.     hes the type that when its just him and i he is a great guy.   not annoying or arrogant or loud or any of those detrimental adjectives.   when its just him and i he is one of my better friends; then there is his alter ego, his DJ persona that comes out anytime we go to a bar or are around people, i call this persona DJ Sockjob. 

DJ Sockjob for the past couple of weeks has been on a self imposed hermitage due to an incident involving a butt dial.   Long story short he had dated the same girl for the past 7 years.  Has cheated on her repeatedly, and yet will always claim she is the love of his life.   well a couple of weeks ago he and a friend of mine were leaving a bar to go to TeeJay's Restaurant.  And Sockjob unwittingly butt dialed his girlfriend.  she answered and decided to listen to the conversation;  Sockjob revealed that he was in fact seeing two other girls.  went on to talk a lot of shit about many friends of mine and many other things under the sun.    he eventually realized that she had heard the entire conversation and called him out on it. 

In an attempt to change his ways Sockjob went into seclusion.  

Friday-

Since i dont have a license i sent a mass text to my friends to see who wanted to go to skullys and/or HIV (less than a block away from each other; no cover).  Some friends were in cleveland, one on his way to Baltimore, another at a work party.  most others went to the new Goth/BDSM swingers club here in Columbus.  More on that later.   the only person that wanted to go was Sockjob.   I figured he was gonna be all weepy and want me to be some sort of counselor.   at least i was hoping for that at least, it would've shown he was attempting to change.

at the beginning of the night he said 3 drinks only.   so i figured awesome no beligerent DJ Sockjob to dick with.   we went to the HIV first.   chatted together, he had some business to take care of with the owners so he left me alone for about an hour.   During this time i think i re-ignited and old flame.  i think that it intrigues me to no end. 

by the time SockJob came back around he was about 15 sheets into the wind.  the 3 drink maximum went straight out the window.  so then i had to deal with the full force the the DJ SockJob assault.   anything that had a vagina was in his sights.  i tried to reason with him.  tried to get him to remember  " the love of his life".  Tried to undermine him by disagreeing with him anytime he pointed out a girl that was pretty.   but he is twice my size and when drunk is like a Rabid Gorilla.    so the only other thing i could think of was too try and use my charm to cock block him.   it actually sort of worked out in my favor.  ill find out how much in my favor this saturday.

around 230 he realized he was being Sockjob and coccooned himself up a bit.   which meant after the bar he and i went back to his place and talked for a couple hours about his situation and the things he needed to focus on to make his life better.  i hope it stuck with him.

we also drank an entire bottle of sangria.  watched on of my all time favorite movies, "Big Trouble in Little China"  along with the multiple "It's always sunny in Philadelphia" episodes.  found a new british show to fall in love with called  "The IT Crowd" and some old old episodes of  "The Young Ones".  

friday was a topsy turvy night.   i think i had fun,  i just know that the mental strain exhausted me.

saturday

HIV for Church (goth night)

drank, laughed, finger danced.

i have a friend that is insatiably adorable.  she is the type that i just want to pinch her cheeks everytime i see her.   she has been flirting with me for the past couple weeks rather heavily at the bar and on myspace and usually right in front of her boyfriend (who i might add, according to another friend of mine that used to date him, is a closeted gay)  ive mentioned the flirting with many of my friends and every single one of them as soon as i mention the flirting and her name instantly tell me to not even think about it.  That she is absolutely insane.   ...im still a tad bit curious though.   is that normal?

a rather simple night.  the only shitty thing was everytime i came inside from smoking my glasses fogged up like the Dickens!  and took forever to de-foggify.

so i mention earlier  a new Goth/BDSM swingers club here in columbus.  It's called Catacombs.

FIrst some background info-   At the old c-bus goth bar, Outland, there was a fetish area where one could be whipped, have an electric current run through, tied up or have wax dripped onto your naked skin.   all the regulars at Outland refered to this area as the "Smack & Whack"  we all felt it was a detriment to the scene.  Not because of what it was, because i have no problem in the world with any of the BDSM-y type stuff, but because the people that ran it were a vile, unwholesome lot.  the kind of people that if you saw on the street would think " yup, that dudes a child molester".   the sort that when you run into them at the bar you can only see that scene from Silence of the Lambs with Buffalo Bill tucking his junk back and saying the everso famous lines "Would you fuck me?  I'd fuck me; i'd fuck me hard..."  all the while with Q Lazurus'  "Goodbye Horses"  pulsating in the background.  Yes,  these people of troglodytes.  Even the nicest people i know push them away with all of their might.   it would be one thing if they were quaint people who merely happened to be terribly repugnant,   but they aren't; they are repugnant as a whole; outside and in.   

Well, the Smack & Whack crew started their own Swingers club.   $15 for a year membership. $15 for each night you go.  Bring your own booze.  They offer things such as Knife Play (but you must use the house knives), private rooms,  and all the other things the original Smack & Whack provided.  it opened on friday.  many of my friends went.  many told me of the high level of disgust they had after leaving.  and im not talked about laymen here, im talking about people that are dominatrixes or else otherly experienced with BDSM, and they left disgusted.   which has led me to decide on a new name for the club.

so from here on out the club shall no longer be catacombs, but instead  "Ipecac Vagina".   tell all your friends...and be warned of the Ipecac vagina...

hmmm sorry for being all rambly and whatnot.  i took a nap on the couch earlier and now can't sleep so i needed something to do.