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New horizons...

the last couple months have been fraught with fits and dizzy spells

paranoia has become my constant mood.  i fidget and fiddle relentlessly with anything i can get my wire-y mits on.

when around friends i don't speak much anymore.  and when i do the words are shaky and obtuse at best.

it feels a bit like im lost.

so to hopefully counteract my fairly tepid reality i've scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist.  I suppose the only way to go from here is up.

things aren't all that bad.

but...

i spend the majority of my time by myself and its incredibly lonely.

my friends are always busy.  and it seems like im the first forgotten/last remembered when it comes to them.

its highly unnerving.

im tired. exhausted.  i just want to curl up in bed and not leave; turn into a modern Rip van Winkle.

is it wrong that that sounds better than almost anything else in the world to me right now?

im sure this mood is momentary. and once i talk to the doc things will start to perk back up.

but right now my optimism is wavering. 

it sure hasn't toppled.

but without help or something really really good falling into my lap im scared that it will.

also my friend showed me this video the other day and the song has been stuck in my head ever since.

plus it helps that the girl in the video is absolutely friggin adorable. 

favorite parts:

- david byrne impersonator

- asian pee wee herman

- the singer girls cloud shirt .

- ...and her cute bum. i would like to be friends with it ;]

so i've gotten two hours of sleep in the last 48 hours due to skewl and the science factory.

anyone wanna come over and cuddle? makeout? sideways monkey dance?

yes?

no?

maybe?

meh, it was worth a shot right?

bewbies & butterscotch

-Jacob

p.s.-  i gotz copious amounts of mac n' cheez if that tickles your fancy.

Took a nap for a couple hours.

my throat is still on fire.

I sat in the shower for the better part of an hour. 

Planned on walking to the grocery to get some soup, but its 40 degrees and raining Chinchillas and Marmosets.

i think ill try to make do with whats here in my humble abode...

eff it im just gonna go play dungeons and dragons the rest of

some vile disease has infiltrated my body.

it suxorz.

my best friend's wedding is on saturday.

ughh...

every time i see the trailer for Where the Wild Things Are my eyeballs get all watery and shiny.