softreply

so if anyone's paying any attention, i now have sets up on www.barelyevil.com and www.ninjaxgirls.com and one pending for www.zivity.com
*w00t*
this excites me greatly.
however i took some "candid shots of me being candid" yesterday and i have to say.... i look horrible. i'm terribly out of shape. i think i'll make a wallpaper of those shots and put them next to older shots and make a wallpaper out of it called "fatty fatty boombalatty" for motivational purposes.
i don't know, it just seems like all the drive to stay in shape was sucked out of me after my mom's passing 5 1/2 months ago.... now that i'm starting to feel slightly normaler, it's time to get back to where i was before.
i also have to update my modelmayhem profiles, get a facebook account, and get my dA model profile up and running again. so much work to do!
but yey for me being an official internet model. things can only get better from here now that i've got my foot in the door. the 3 or 4 years of dreams, hopes, hard work, blood, sweat, and tears seem to finally be paying off.
even despite the current economical depression. in fact, i think the only thing that will pay will be web site work. freelancing it will not pay, i'm pretty certain. but once you have the "blue blood" tag assigned to yourself, perhaps that makes you more desireable as a model. so yey.
i have a lot of work to do - on myself, on my sites, on everything.
i have a new confidence that has been lost since my mom's anchor was cut from me.

~soma~

*wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee*
so i'm finally officially a website model!
my very first set for blue blood on www.barelyevil.com
so fucking excited.
my set for ninjaxgirls.com should be live soon, as well as zivity.com
WTH
*yey*
i feel so *awesome* right now.
i'll keep this feeling as long as i can.
i'm so excited i could pee.
i also finally made a flickr account.... (you can see previews of these sets on there, too) http://www.flickr.com/photos/soma_stardust/
*bouncesaway*

~soma~

so...
there's this site ninjaxgirls.com
i'm going to be one of the girls :3
i have named myself shiyuki (shi=death, yuki=snow)
and i'm also supposed to be on zivity.com as well.
so yey.
and i'm obsessed with producing hdr images... ><
AND my fucking dumbass cat disappeared for a week despite the fact that she's seriously wounded.... she came back yesterday.
so i guess these are good things.

~soma~

i've decided to be more active. so i can waste more time with my life.
i've also uploaded some new pics. cause i felt like it needed updating.
i'm.... very scattered lately. ><

~soma~

i am not paying sufficient attention to the things i should be paying attention to. and these aren't the things you would expect.
i can't remember my dreams. they pass by and float away. i think it comes from forcing myself to not pay attention.... after my mom's death i had horrible nightmares. everytime i closed my eyes - even when i blinked - all i could see was her lifeless body in the hospital bed. and the dreams were worse. and to keep myself sane, of course, i have to block out my feelings on the whole subject almost entirely.
i believe i was born the wrong species... perhaps the wrong world or the wrong universe. i.do.not.fit.here. it goes beyond mere time placement.
we waste far too much time on this thing we so very optimistically call "living." perhaps this is really just hell, and we were alive on a much better world. or maybe it's my own personal hell. i was Bad in my Last Life and this is where they sent me. i'm a fallen angel or elf or faerie or something wonderful, confined to this horrid mortal realm.
is it insane to think these things? i hope so.

~soma~

ps: i know i'm bad at getting back to people, i promise i will soon