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So...things stuff, lots of stuff...Friday I rode with the Hershey Squirts up to Seattle. My first time at the Bit Saloon. They were playing with Mr. Plow and The Fixt. It was a lot of fun. The show got shut down early due to the new drummer of the fixt flipping off and mooning cops that were directly outside the window of the stage. The Hershey Squirts were awesome as always, and it was good to see Plow again.

Got a pair of the "Plow Me" panties that I'm supposed to wear for a GG shoot. I dig 'em 'cause they kind of look like Wonder Woman bottoms.

Then Saturday, band practice. Fun stuff as always. I'm really proud of Logan with the choices he's been maing lately, he seems to really be trying to get his shit straight, and is putting the band as the main dish on his plate. It's nice, but it doesn't matter what it is, I just want to see him succeed in life-with or without us. That kid has so much fuckin' talent.

After band practice, Brian and I went and met up with one of his co-workers who's involved in a project called "Fourthcomin", it's a local hip-hop group here in Tacoma. The whole point of meeting up with them was because they wanted us in a video for their upcoming release. It was a lot of fun. My second music video now. :) PJ is a really talented filmographer...you can't tell at all that the whole video was shot in some ghetto ass apartment building. Incredible stuff. I can't wait to see what the finished result will be. I just danced and did my thing, and Brian did performance art...it was really cool, creepy, and funny. I feel very fortunate to be surrounded by wonderful muscians and artists. So much fucking talent...batteries are staying charged, and that's a good thing.

I got along with everyone at the shoot really well too, felt like I was hanging out with people I've known for years instead of just meeting them that day.

After the video shoot, Brian dropped me off at Malarkey's so I could see Paul's new project, "HANK". It was their first show. I can't really call it just Paul's project, because it's everyone from Who Cares, minus Dave, then the Who Cares producer, Drew, and Jeremy. It's incredible. The songs are kick ass, the music is kick ass, and everyone was having so much fun. It was nice, because Josh and I finally got to talk and catch up for a bit. I like talking to the "real" Josh. I've really missed his friendship a lot.

It's a good thing I got stoned before heading out to the show though. Fucking Dave kept pissing me off. I was trying to be cool. First, he sent Justin with a note about burying the hatchet, then when I ordered food, he sat down next to me and tried to rekindle our friendship, and then after that, every time he walked by me, he patted me on the shoulder like you would do to a friend. Every time he touched me, I just wanted to hit him.

There's no hatchet to bury. It's been almost a year now since Dave said what he said to me, and there's no hatchet to bury. It is what it is, and I want nothing to do with him anymore. Period. I can be civil and polite, but I don't appreciate him continually trying to pop a bubble he's no longer welcome in. I'm a very forgiving person, unless you know me so well that you know exactly what to say, intentionally prodding straight to my core in an effort to hurt me. That's exactly what he did. And it was completely unprovoked. He got what he wanted. No one has hurt me that bad since I was a little girl, and you know what level of involvement those people have in my life now? Nothing. Period. And that's my own flesh and blood. I know how people are like that, and no matter how many times you forgive them or how many chances you give them, they will always prove you wrong. My life has gone on and will continue to be so without Dave in my life. I don't miss him. I don't need people like that around me.

If I ran into Dave say 3 years down the road, and sober...maybe...but I have no use for vengeful alchoholics in my life anymore. But I was good...I walked away. I hugged Bonnie, told her I loved her and that I was sorry. And I walked away. What's done is done. He should learn from this, and treat his friends better. I'm so done with the old cliche, you hurt the ones you love the most.

I want to be around people who are passionate, driven, make shit happen for themselves and help others to do the same, take initiative, and strive to be the best they can be. I'm not the alchoholic I once was, and I'm not letting shit slide anymore, because I'm better than that, and I deserve to be treated better than that. If being around someone only helps to feed my low self-esteem, then I have no use being around that person. I'm not saying I'm better than them, I'm just saying, I'm better than that. We all have the same fucking potential if we so desire, and I'm choosing to follow mine.

I also got to see Debbie, whom I haven't seen in over a year, and it was good to sit with her and chat for a minute. A lot of good people I've missed acctually.

Paul drove me home, and the next day was our show at the Galway Arms. Fun times. Ian showed up at 5pm to provide a vehicle to haul our gear up to Seattle, and it was fun hanging our with everyone before we all bounced to go North.

I love the pre-show get togethers, when people are caravaning or car pooling. Got to the Galway at like 10 after 8, made great time. I was nervous as fuck for the show...again...I hate that shit...but I still had a blast. :) A bunch of my friends showed up...Scotty, Kyle and his girl, Lisa, John, Rob, Allan and Christina, Kammy, Thombone, and my favorite as always...my Dan. :) He wasn't able to go to any of the prior shows with me due to his work schedule, so I'm glad he made it out to this one. I got to introduce him to Thombone finally, and Kyle was way happy to see him too. Dan rarely ever gets out of the house, it's usually just me out and about, like he won't be coming out to the TPE show this Thursday, because of his work schedule....fucking old man...lol. I fucking love him so much though, and I know he supports me even if he can't make it out, but he's still always my favorite face to see in the crowd.

So Ian and I stayed until all the bands were finished, and we closed out the bar. Got a really good response from the crowd, which was cool...then we headed back to Tacoma. Stopped at Denny's...which leads to...you know you're drunk when...first you order mozeralla sticks, then halfway through those you order bacon, and halfway through that you order fried eggs...fucking retarded. But it tasted good, so fuck it....and good company. I haven't seen much of Ian lately, and I always love hanging out with that kid. He's good peeps. He really fucking came through for us with his truck, and I look forward to him being our roadie when we go on tour this fall.

I didn't fall asleep until like 7:30 am-ish, and I woke up at 3pm today...so now I'm wide the fuck awake again...I shoudl probably get used to it though. I like to keep busy, and my sleep schedule is always fuct when I'm busy. Catch whatever 6 hours I can when I can...

Oh yeah, and fuck the snow that came billowing down today, what the fuck?

I'm a very happy Z. Running around, doing my thing...rocking out with my cock out, making friends, keeping the batteries up to full, and having a fucking BLAST!

If you wanna see more pics...check out our myspace... www.myspace.com/bastardchildrens

What's going on with everyone else?