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Thats my sons name, go to my myspace to see some pics of him cuz i have NO clue how to insert them in the journals...thank you guys so much for the kind comments! thats why i love this site soo dammed much!

and now for these messages...

MILF blog
My hands arent full of our son or the pump so I can finally write this out and not do it shorthand. I am now a mother of a beautiful baby boy named Eddie, who was born 09/04 at 9:56 pm (3 days after his dads bday, and only 20 some minutes after my birth arrival time in may). He weighed 7 lbs and 10 oz and is actually 2 weeks ahead of the curve with his developmental skills according to our awesome peditrician. I endured 15 hours of painful labor, with around 3? epidurals that failed each time on the left side, and only around 20 minutes of pushing which wasnt anything. My son arrived and I was immediately mesmirized by how cute he was, and how as he came out I reached for his hand, and he wrapped his little fingers around mine. Sure you may say that Im "a beast" for enduring all that paun, and that if you know me in person I am a pretty tough lady who doesnt show emotion often and can often be called a cold hearted bitch by my enemies...but damm I totally cried the moment I saw him emerge from the womb. And Im not a crier at all...

Being a mom makes you evaluate your relationship with your own mother and you question how you have treated her over the years and then imagine how you would feel if that was your son telling you those things sometimes. WHich of course, will happen from time to time with hormones and temper flare ups. It will also make you really appreicate those who are there for you such as your family, and your friends. I find myself forming an even stronger bond with all memebers of my family, extended, and inlaws included (which isnt hard at all cuz they fucking rock). I also love giving out new mom, post preggo advice to fellow moms and preggo gals I know thru this site and godsgirls, which honestly has shown a vast amount of support and I am so proud to be one. Its funny because when I was to be induced that morning cuz I just had enough of being preggo, I was making myself appear as beautiful as ever-doing my hair and throwing on makeup-all for it to dissapear and for me not to give a damm about how I look, or the fact that I just shit myself in front of a room full of people including my dream man. Oh did I mention how awesome he was during all this? I can tell you that a good support person is hard to come by when times get rough and Joe has consistantly been there for me time and time again. Some people have their moms, hire doulas, or depend on nurses...others shout obscenities at their significant other blaming them for all the pain...I did none of these. I had Joe and damm he made it so easy on me, coaching, helping and just being there. I did cuss once-I yelled MOTHERFUCKER duing a particularly horrible contraction. A child arrives in your life and it changes, some have sympathetically said "oh your life is over, no more partying, etc" but hell I never really had a life, and when I did I partied like hell back in 04, when I was young and dumb, able to fuck my life up. Ive paid my dues and dont give a damm about not being able to leave the house without bringing all of his belongings and my own. Carrying around a 20 lb diaper bag packed like its gonna be armageddon any day.

I am paranoid as shit now though, I think of all the sex offenders and rapists out there and how that law that did not allow sex offenders to live near schools now does not exsist for some fucking horrible reason...and how the new conceal carry law is amazing and I will shoot any uninvited guest in my house down with a 50 calibur hollow point in the face, dead. I think of the worst possible things that could happen to my family and prepare and prevent. Now I am over protective of both my husband and my son, and will more than happily do time to protect them under any and all circumstances, while also happily volunteering my own life over theirs if ever need be. When our son cries, or even makes a small noise its funny how Joe and I immediately look over at him with such concern, and constantly have everything Eddie needs at fingers length. YEsterday while doing laundry in the basement I could actually smell my son's scent in the living room...mommy's 6th sense...I know each cry, noise, sign and symbol.

I always knew Joe would make an awesome father and never could have imagined the dedication I would recieve from him not only as a wonderful father to our son, but an amazing husband to me...he truly is my everything. I also never thought that I would want to return to college to finish my nursing degree, and become a Nurse Practioner in Pediatrics...and want to work with kids and kids only. Odd how things change...for the best.

This election scares the shit out of me, with Palin mongering and riling the dogs of war with Russia, I honestly hope that Obama gets it just to not complete the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse (Cheney, Bush, Palin, McCain...) I want my son to grow up in a world where there is some sort of peace and not a constant eminent threat of the US getting nuked,

My son dating also scares the shit out of me, since he takes after his dad-we all know he will be hot. I dont want skank hoes trying to suck the life out of him, and I will be the constantly disapproving mom who swears no woman is up to par. Speaking of crazy hot, Joe as a dad makes him a million times sexier (which I never thought was possible).

Heres the bad news for the ladies-I never got stretch marks, never got fat and dont even look pregnant after a week, was able to be out running around 3 days after a vaginal birth, tore up carpet 2 days before being induced, and have a HUGE RACK to boot. Genes? Prenatals? Sexercize? Hell if I know...

I am sweaty all the time, have no sleep and sometimes hallucinate or have the thousand yard state, have been pooped on, peed on, barfed on, bleed constantly from my horrible sore vajayjay, have horrible dark circles (thank you loreal advance eye cream!), havent washed my hair in a week since I dyed it, barely shower, eat when I can, have horrible rock hard implant like boobs, butt pain and trouble, and no sex for another 5 weeks...

But I will tell you it is worth it completely...every mind twisting, body taxing minute.

You bring a child in to this awful shit hole of a world, youd better be damm well sure you can afford to have one, and be able to devote all and every second to your bundle of joy. You will protect it, love it, nurture it, and teach it the ways of the world. Forget all old past experiences, enemies, troubles and focus on the new dawn beginning of the life you just knowingly and wanted to enter with a smile.

See...I have changed huh?

And yes, I will still kick your ass, ten times harder now that I am a mom. Moms are fucking tough man...you life weights every day-20 lbs diaper bag, 7 lbs now kid, multitask like a mutherfucka, and can function on barely any sleep and food. You also develop a 6th sense...

Did you hear about the rose that grew
from a crack in the concrete?
Proving nature's law is wrong it
learned to walk with out having feet.
Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams,
it learned to breathe fresh air.
Long live the rose that grew from concrete
when no one else ever cared.

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