Violet's journals

dude i miss it there, i miss my fucking friends so bad, i cried the way back from denver.

i am fianally living alone , work is takeing up alot of my time wehich is a good thing but bad cuz im not haveing any time to go work out or anything . tommrow im woking some overtime, i need the extra cashola.

saturday jon and me went to casey moores and got some good day drinking going on, sean brought everyone with him and made me feel so special. and i got to see ruthie and merrill too, i am soo double lonely in portland now. i kindov want to move back but i guess im stuck in this hipster paradise now:P i remember my frist visit back to san diego when after i moved to phoenix and i felt the same way although moveing to phx was kindov a do or die situation when i was a teenage. now i just feel really lonely and i really dont want to be all clingy on jonathan.

im tyiping from a new laptop, well new for me. its so nice to have one, but now i have to find places with wi fi till my internet at home is hooked up, which will hopefully be soon,

my apartment is empty, and oh yes united managed to break every retro dish i hold dear to me all in one box. some fuck tard had to have threw it to the ground to get it to break like that, when i opened the box up i wanted to scream , all my pretty retro dishes and my hanging ashtray were all shattered to little bits and pieces. im never ever flying on united again, fuck them and their stuffy staff.,

well thats all i have to say for now, i think im going to try to sneak in a work out before i go hang out alone and go to bed.

haveing no internet at home suckss!!!!

i hope the world is still whole out there without it....

well this weekend has been really hectic. my old roomie totally went bonkers on me , fortunatly i have my own apartment being prepared for me at this moment and ill be in there by the first. no more wacko roomates woot!

ok like i dont want to be a posessive girlfriend but this really bugs me. jonathan has girls talking to him all the time and im totally fine with that but they all call him sexy and cute n stuff and i kindov feel ike its disrespective to me , especially when (pardon the myspace sensitivity) he comments the fuck out of their pages and i barely hear from him. ive sortof felt like hes been so far away lately, i mean he works alot and im really proud of his dedication to his work but i tell him i love him all the time and i do my best to pay attention to him and i feel a little ignored, but hell take the time to pay attention to someone else. blah i totally feel like crying over all of this. but i feel like a butthole saying something to him because i mean hell just say hes tired and make me feel like a total nag....::sigh::

i love my job at comcast and i hope i work there for a long time.

well thats all for now.

ok so the new job is going good. ive spent the whole week haveing horrible anxiety attacks. id ont know where they came from but i hope they pass as soon as they fell on top of me. its hard to function when everything makes you want to scream or  hide.

other than that i love my new job so much it makes me want to cum everywhere! im supposed to do this modeling call for a clothing line out here inp ortland. ive never been asked to do something like this before but its super exciting. i wonder what will happen?

i havent seen much of jonathan, i do miss him though i see him at night when he comes to me and we sleep ::sigh::

dude i just want to get high, i havent in like a week and i just want to sit around adn blaze, and watch porn or something.

yeh...

hopefully this will be one of the last posts i have to do from a internet cafe.

tommrow i start my job at the cable company and hopefully i can say goodbye to uhaul slavery.

so my other tire is busted now and the stuff i used to try to fix it smelled up my car somehow and its a non stop headache, i cant wait for jon to fix that shit tommrow.

wish me luck on the new job@!

other one of my sets wetn up. yesssss!

i work all the time and i want to buy new shoes, lots of them.

ok i start working for the cable company in a few days so i will fianally have internet at my house.

dude i have only a few freinds in portland. i need more.

i gotta go before they kick me off the putor at the internet cafe....

ok i fucking hate milk, it makes my tummy hurt and makes me fart.

its my day off and i have nothing to do. i got another sweet job offer, so now i dont know which one i want. i have to do yet another drug screen which sucks, but oh well im not that worried about all of it, its just a hassle you know.

life is going to be good from now on.

okay so i think i live with a uber overbearing roomate. i really like the girl but dude she just freaks out over everything. im reallylaid back you know, i dont care what goes on at my house as long as you are clean. but she nit picks me to death all the damn time, and last night she wrote me this big icky note on how me and jon were fucking way to loud and we woke her up. okay i felt bad for that but dude when i worked late she would be up all early with her man makeing all this noise and i just dealt with it. she is always on my case for somethingand i cant do anything right . i cant wait to just move out on my own again without some naggy roomate on my hands.

this morning i got a call from the prospective employer., they said my drug test was diluted and i had to go back in. well i did it again, i have no idea weather or not i passed. i hope i did but if i didnt i have some other stuff lined up for this and that. its really frustrating though cuz i thought i had that bitch in the bag and now i had to redoo a dumb ass drug test.

i really need to start makeing some money asap, im not sure waht to do about all that junk.

well i have the day off with jon so im going to go enjoy it now.

so heres whats up, i havent had any internet and its super sucked cuz i have not even been able to look at any of my accounts or anything.

see i got to portland and everything fell apart! but then i all the sudden met all these awesome people and everything came together. if that makes any sense.

i have a boyfreind now, he just got signed with a agency the other day, im so amasingly proud of that boy. so i was thinking about how much i havent worked in a while and how i wished one of my sets would go oup and oh my fucking god i look online today and poof! one of my sets went up.

im sorry i havent been to active on the community, but i did get a job with the local cable company so soon ill have internet and i can get back to being a godsgirl!

i love portland to pieces but i miss my friends in phoenix sooo bad.

so look at my set bitches..and tell me you love it! cuz i do .

so after one hellashish drive all the way from az to or i am here. well ive been here for quite a while . i went to oc and visited ariel the first day and then i drove all the way through. it was insaine, very pretty but i can say i was super warped when i showed up at gregs door at three thirty in the morning.

so far ive been busy looking for work and trying to stay cool. before i left i had a jaunt with a boy i chased for five or so years. it was kindov shitty leaving him behind and i was pretty bummed about all of that. i still am i suppose, i guess thats the way life works.

yesterday i got good and drunk, it was fun meeting all these new people. id have to say a big thank you to gregstar for letting me stay with him while i get situated. i need a fucking job asap so i dont have to freak out , also im pretty bored just sittin around all day with no friends to talk to or anything. i love where i live though its everything i exexpected.

so when will this heat go away?? its horriable.