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Good morning ladies and gentlemen, boys and motherfuckin girls.  This is your captain with no name speaking and I'm here to rock your world with a tale that will soon be classic........

Good grief, it's been a minute since I've posted anything, so I'm going to try to make it as full o' info as I can in what little time I have!  Ready steady GO!

So I'm still stripping.  And the newness has definetely worn off completely.  I have all sorts of regulars and the only people I really hang out with anymore are the other dancers or bartenders.  I spent hours last week filling out applications online and what do ya know...haven't heard back from any of them.  Even Waffle House for crying out loud!  If I can't get a job there, I may as well chalk it up to being one of those thirty year old strippers with five kids from different fathers and Botox galore.  On the other hand, this weekend is our  Feature Week and the gods of porn have sent Daisy Duxe to us.  If you've never heard of her, look her up immediately.  She's super fucking hot and way cool and all of her porns are...well, see for yourself.

Dresden is now 14 months and starting to walk.  Talk about terrifying.  Right now he's staring at himself in his little baby mirror and making all sorts of faces.  Like mother like son.

Hopefully by next week, I'll be back at the Milan Institute of Cosmetology to finish up the 400 hours I have remaining.  I swear if I drop out of there ONE MORE TIME, they're going to chase me out of town with lynching ropes and pitchforks.

There is now someone very special in my life.  I won't discuss the nature of this relationship but I will say that I wake up feeling very grateful for this person and the other few people in my life who help me get through every day.  Aaawww.  Someone call Hallmark.

If you're down for a good laugh and a chance to realize that maybe your life isn't as crazy as it may seem, go to www.textsfromlastnight.com.  It's pretty self explanitory and damn addicting.  If you see any from the 806, it's more than likely me.  Here's one of my favorites from today:  "(425): If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab."

Is anyone else incredibly turned on by all of the models for American Apparel?

Uhhh...someone just called my house for me, my brother answered and said I wasn't here (that's typical protocol for anyone calling the fucking house phone), and he just now told me that it was the Potter County Investigator saying something about hot checks?  WTF? 

On a very sad note that I don't really want to get into, one of my very very dear friends is dying.  His liver failed last week, his kidneys failed about three days ago, and it's not looking good.  It's really been a wake up call to go see him every day and see what will happen to me if I don't fucking slow down.  You see, I was told in 07 that if I didn't stop drinking, I wouldn't make it to see 25...that's only 3 years away.  And seeing Tommy in this situation is really kicking my ass.  I can't lose another friend, I hate seeing him hurt like this, and I don't want to go through it myself.  I don't know.  It's times like this when I wish I believed in God so I could have hope, but I don't.  I guess I'll just keep my fingers and toes crossed, wait with baited breath.

Ok sorry for ending on such a sad note.  This oughta cheer you up: my birthday is like a week and a half away!  Alllll of you should find a way to Amarillo to celebrate with me.  It's July 28th.  Clear your calendars and get your sexy asses up here post haste!

Sexily yours,

Tuesday.