GodsGirl : Steph > journals > reading "Fucking life. Pictures to make up for the mad"

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Fucking life. Pictures to make up for the mad posted : 03/04/13 at 10:18pm pst listening to:Time to Pretend MGMT

 I don't have anything nice to say at all about what my life is and what's happening. It keeps me from being active here and I really can't fucking stand it. You think you can judge the integrity of the people in your life but honestly, everyone will surprise you. No matter how put together a person may seem you can never truly look at them and trust that their judgement is sane and as a sensitive person I swallow it up and it effects me and it eats at me, so even if the other person is 100% wrong I hate the feelings inside myself that I will go out of my way to make repairs to fix the problem that they made. No more. I know this is so super vague but what was done is so unspeakable to me. Maybe the bigger picture isn't but I can't even bring myself to type what this person did. And then they walk around like I'm the one being annoying... the one who is wrong. How does that even work?

I haven't sent in anything new. I keep bashing myself and not thinking through what I want to do. Keep changing my mind, making excuses, feeling down, overwhelmed, don't have time. It literally all crashes down on my and I'm the worst GG. Please have a few of these and accept them as tokens of thanks for the support I get on here. It's not until you wander off onto other sites that you realize that none of them feel as much like home as it does here. And I don't even interact as much as some of you do. I just genuinely think the world of all you ladies because you just embrace and embrace so damn much. And the members are so polite and friendly and just as warm. Love this place so much. 

 

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Bleeker
03/04/13 10:50pm pst

Hey, everything will be okay. Tomorrow is a brighter day. Everything will work itself out in time.

Things fall apart so better things can come together for you. & Better things will come your way because you are a good person.

You are loved here. Nothing but open ears & warm arms. Hell, you do not even have to say anything about what bothering you just stay here.

I for one think nothing of the best of you. Hey, everything will be alright.

<3

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Domino1331
03/05/13 02:42am pst

 Stay strong Doll...if they aren't making or breaking you, the will matter 0% in a year or less...  Shuck them like yesterdays clothing and grow away from them.  I am exactly where I want to be today b/c I kept this as a mantra...  You'll see....  it mightl be hard at first but in a few short weeks you will laugh often and won't even think about this time in your life :D  Just dont revisit it in your mind.  

It is over.  Let the past be the past.

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Psylentmike
03/05/13 06:22am pst

Hope things turn around and start going better for you soon.  That person definitely doesn't deserve such a sweet and wonderful friend such as yourself.  Keep your head up Steph and try not to let this person diminish your inner glow.

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Stacey-Beth
03/05/13 11:30am pst

 <3

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Laura
03/05/13 12:08pm pst

 *BIG HUG* "No matter how put together a person may seem you can never truly look at them and trust that their judgement is sane and as a sensitive person" - so true, it's really shit. I know exactly what you're going through, went through this realization last summer after trying to help a 'friend'. Just remember you're the bigger person, and it's better to be a caring person and occasionally be walked on than an asshole XOXOXOXOXO

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BeautifulBastrd
03/05/13 06:30pm pst

I beat myself up too at times.  But it doesn't do anything but make you feel worse.  The best thing to do and accept that you made a mistake, learn from it, find a solution and act on it.  Definitely act on it.  Otherwise you're gonna feel like shit.

 

But you take care of yourself regardless of the bullshit that's surrounding you, k?

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VandaliaLaRue
03/06/13 06:34am pst

I really couldn't even describe my own life and life situations in a better way than you did in the first paragraph--truly. I'm sorry for your ordeal and the stress. :/

In any case--you look GREAT in the photos. Effin' fabulouuuus. <3

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