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new tattoo posted : 02/19/09 at 06:52pm pst

I got the heart tattoo I told you all about. I'm not wearing my heart on my sleeve, I'm keeping it tucked close!

Anyways, I love it. It wasn't nearly as painful as I was anticipating. Once it got towards my bicep or armpit it really hurt but other than that it was almost annoying!

Well here it is, first picture.

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Okay last journal, I swear posted : 02/13/09 at 10:49pm pst listening to : Futurama

I've been talking to Ben a lot since I rejected him for Josh. At first he called me a whore and refused to speak to me. But today he let me talk.
He said this about me. "I'm assuming that your dad wasn't around alot or something when you were growing up which is your attracted to people who don't give a shit about you. You put these false ideas in

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New tattoo plans posted : 02/13/09 at 07:52pm pst

I've finally decided on my heart tattoo. I've had plans for a heart tattoo somewhere for a long time I just didn't know where or what.

It's going to be on the inside of my arm. Get it? My heart isn't out on my sleeve, it's tucked safely inside my arm lol!

I want an antique like design, like a locket almost. I can't design if I want it just black

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Feel like death posted : 02/13/09 at 12:50pm pst listening to : Spongebob
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Take only what you need from it posted : 02/11/09 at 03:18pm pst listening to : MGMT

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These are fucking cute huh?

So here is where my life is at right now.

Ben found out about Josh and I. He was upset but not as much as I thought he would. However he told me " Good luck with Josh, he doesn't really give a shit about you, and he's a damn good liar" and then later he said "Don't come running to me when Josh fucks you and then never

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Hi friends, meet Josh posted : 02/10/09 at 10:37am pst listening to : Lamb of God

So things with Ben did not work out. He can't stand that I do nude modeling, even on the side. The more I thought it out, the more I realized how bad for me he is. He's bad at responding to texts, smokes a lot of pot, isn't very good at expressing emotion, and it's annoying.  I have my suspicions he just wants to have someone to act like his

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dick posted : 02/04/09 at 03:17pm pst listening to : MGMT

I under-estimated him. I broke up with this morning and I thought it was going to be an ordeal. I got off the bus to go to work and he sent me a text saying he was at my work. I was soo pissed. I called my manager and asked if he would walk me in, but then I saw my now-ex standing on the median waiting for me to cross the street.

I walked up and

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Breakup posted : 02/03/09 at 10:05pm pst listening to : MGMT

I hate breaking up with people I really do.

But he is clinging to me like a barnacle and I CANT BREATHE.

But he is going to FALL TO PIECES and I just want a clean break. I know he is going to fall off the deep end and cry, show up at my work and home, and make it messy.

I just want to be free. Free of relationships and restraints. I'm tired of

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My new set! posted : 01/30/09 at 04:12pm pst listening to : monsterquest

Thank you for all that commented on my new set, I seriously appreciate it!

You guys are so wonderful, I know this set was long overdue.

 

I've been so busy at work lately it's been crazy! It's nice to be busy though, I end up feeling depressed if I have nothing to do. However I have tomorrow off and I am glad about that.

I recorded a video of my

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sparkle and shine posted : 01/24/09 at 10:19pm pst listening to : Prayers for Bobby

You know what is a fucking sad movie? Prayers for Bobby.
It's one of those Lifetime movies that are sappy and make you bawl til you can't cry anymore.

It's about a boy in a very religious family who is gay. The mother is controlling and tries to "cure" him by sending him to therapists. There is a whole lot of conflict, the usual. He kills himself

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