GodsGirls.com : hot emo punk goth girls naked

all of us want to be loved or feel love...but we shouldn't rely on other people to get the love and attention that we so need. You can't rely on others to make you happy or fill the void of feeling unloved. You need to work on yourself and work with these issues that you have regarding love and relationships

I do but I am so scared. I hate the thought of delving into my own issues. I have to learn to love myself and be happy with just that.

why be scared of something that can help you?

Because it takes delving into my inner-most fuckedup-edness!

then if that's what you have to do to get better, then you have to do it, because in the end it gets better

"Everything with be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end"

I pretty much live by those words

you just have to be strong

"And you know what? He's fucking right. I don't know how to be alone. I rarely am. I hunger for male contact, even if he's just not that into me. And then I come up with an illusion that he does like me. I pretend, get attatched to a relationship that is only in my mind, and then get my heart broken. It's a stupid cycle and I'm quite nauseated by myself."

I am the same exact way, but with women, of course. I grew up with mostly females, so I interact with them better. But I also feel like I need them around all the time, I get my mind set to think that, "Hey, we are in a relationship..." but then I realize I am lying to myself just to get attention from her.

Then I find someone I truely love, and they are taken, or some other stupid reason. So then I move to another girl, who I end up shooting down, because I couldn't have what I actually wanted. I need the attention, and the love. But it's a one way love kind of thing.

I totally know how you are feeling.
:/

I'm really glad you can relate. I feel so...pathetic almost. And I hate it.

I have been working on getting myself to stop. I have been getting better at it, but it's still with me.

I am actually really glad someone else has this going on too... I thought it was just me...

Haha I thought the same. Well were in this together, we'll keep each other updated on progress!

Got it!
:]

 if you know you need to work on some issues, then its time to take the first step. Being co- dependent is no bueno. It robs you of your identity. You should definitely have some you time. Separate yourself from guys for a while. Being in love is like a fucking drug so ofcourse you are going to withdrawl, but you know, i know you know, that in due time, with enough space and keeping yourself busy, such as writing reading or even running you will be just a tad bit better. 

It is, it's a fucking drug! Making that initial step to separate from guys is the hardest part. It's dreadful.

 you have to ask yourself, how much can you take of this. I'm glad that you realize it. I'm not a therapist or anything, but I have been there. But you know what....theraphy helps too. I had one last year for everyday of the tuesday. But yah, you are the only person who can take the advice to heart or not. 

I've been in therapy for so much of my life but have been out of it for about 2 years. I think it's time to go back. Thank you Rich!

Ayee.

What do you think you're going to do about the Josh situation?  Put it on hold until you can figure things out for yourself and be more..  Stable, I guess is the word, but it sounds terrible when I put it that way.  But I used to be the same way, to an extent.  My first ex fucked me up pretty bad and I ended up inadvertantly taking it out on other guys I dated for yeaaaars (being neurotic, just craving affection and then getting bored and moving on to something new) until I was able to work through it all.  I know you really like this guy, but maybe what you need more is a good dose of "you" time to really get comfortable in your own skin, and THEN be comfortable in a relationship?

I honestly am not even sure Josh even wants to have a relationship with me. I think I'm just wanting attention so I'm seeing more in it than there really is. Like, I want something with him but I think it's not going to happen.

And it probably shouldn't because I imagine I'll overwhelm him with my needy-ness.

Boys are hard!

I agree  :[  And relationships are complicated.  Blegh.

You need to live closer so we can have slumber parties.

That was really off-topic, but I had to say it.  haha

That would be amazing! I need sleepover buddies, I haven't had one in soo long!

Me neither!  So lame!

Shy you remember the conversation we had one night. Where I said you really need to be out on your own. Not to really date for awhile. See until you know what you want for yourself, Something that everyone goes through in life. You will never know what you want in a relationship You really need the time to explore and love yourself. To take stock in truly believing in yourself. Remember how I said we are both the same. We want all that comes with being in love, but we don't want to be in a relationship. Shy I have talked to you for almost a year now. You are such a loving, caring and beautiful person I ever known. So don't get down on yourself. It is so easy in life to look down on ourselves. It is so hard though for us to see the beauty we have inside. That is the true test in life. This is why I said you should take a break from dating. Take the time to find yourself and to love yourself. Cause you do have such a beautiful soul Shy. 

You have a good understanding of your own issues. Sounds like a break from guys for awhile is a good idea. I honestly believe that a person should learn how to be completely self sufficient before getting in a relationship, makes you stronger in the long run. Take care of yourself first.

Don't feel that you necessarily are doing bad things.  You don't need to be so hard on yourself.  Many people get into relationships because they feel that something is missing, that the person with whom they are in a relationship will fill some void, or will "complete" them. 

The key is to make YOURSELF complete!  The person you choose to be in a relationship with should merely compliment the person you already are.  You shouldn't NEED someone to share your life with, you should WANT someone to share your life with. 

If you feel that you have spent too much time feeling like you need someone to be with, then stop and take time to learn self-reliance.  And I don't mean relying on someone for the basic physical things, I mean relying on yourself emotionally.  It's important to learn to be able to be alone.  If you can't be alone with yourself, then you will always feel the need to find someone to be with, even if they are wrong for you.

If you want to go to a support group -great.  Or even just talk to a counselor/psychologist one on one, whatever helps you talk through these thoughts and feelings. 

You are not a bad person, Shyla.  You, like many of us, have things to work through.  Most people have some kind of emotional baggage.  Some only have a carry-on bag, some have those big costume/wardrobe trunks.  : )

The one thing you can be sure of, is that you are worth getting to know, and you are important.  But you also need to be independent and self-reliant. 

Much love to you on this Valentine's Day, dear Shyla.  : )

<3

Awww....I'm sorry you're going through bull too.  I just wanted to pop by and say thanks for the kind words in my journal a few weeks ago.  xoxo

ps.  I went to AA and it works and it helps.  I pretty much don't drink anymore...though I still smoke...but I am a changed person and it feels good to not rely on something other than myself.

sorry i can't relate to this because i seem to think i have the penis when it comes to relationships but, hit me up again on AIM soon.

i miss your big pretty pink font!

love ya baby.

I've been through the same addiction. It took a lot of work to look at myself honestly and become aware of what I was doing. I still wouldn't say I'm completely healed, as now when I get in to a relationship I am constantly questioning whether I should actually be alone. At this point I ca imagine a life without another person, an entire lifetime of aloneness, and be excited with the adventures I see. I wish you the best of luck in discovering what it is in life you want. How much fun the journey will be. :) Thank you for sharing this. It's a small reminder for me to keep my eyes on the road.