GodsGirl : Shyla > journals > reading "Take only what you need from it"
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These are fucking cute huh?
So here is where my life is at right now.
Ben found out about Josh and I. He was upset but not as much as I thought he would. However he told me " Good luck with Josh, he doesn't really give a shit about you, and he's a damn good liar" and then later he said "Don't come running to me when Josh fucks you and then never talks to you again"
It shook me, honestly. Like, I realize he's upset and could be just trying to scare me. But Ben knows Josh much better than I do.
I'm so into this guy but I'm trying to protect my heart. We'll just see how it pans out. He wants to meet up tonight but I have the flu AGAIN so we'll see. The things he says are so sweet and sound so genuine. I don't know.
So next up I finally cut myself off from my abusive ex. Earlier this month we got in a huge fight because I had opened his w2 (I didn't know what it was). When he came to get it from me he was furious. I was at work and he was texting me that it was a felony and he could talk me to court blah blah blah. I haven't spoken to him since. A few days ago he sent me a text apologizing. I didn't respond. I don't know why I've had such difficulty breaking away from him. Now that were seperated I started seeing the good things about it. When I do though, I try to remember what it felt like to crawl away from him, getting carpet burns on my elbows. Or how he pulled me up and held my arms over my head, kicking my legs apart so I would fall and saying "Open your legs,slut ,it shouldn't be hard"
Let's see, what else...well you guys know I have the flu again. I had it last month for like the entire month. I've been sent home sick from work twice this week. My paycheck is going to bloooow.
How are you all doing?
Shy
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Shyla
Oh yeah, those pictures are perfect for sending to a guy!
Idolhands
People can be such dicks sometimes.
I've found it's better to just let people find out a people their own way. Hope everything goes the way you hope it, and not the way your ex thinks it will!
wychlea
I can't tell you how glad I am you are out of that relationship. Behavior like his pisses me off and baffles me simultaneously. How anyone could treat a woman like that...I just don't know.
Ben's attitude could go either way- either he knows Josh better and is telling you the truth, or he just doesn't want Josh to be with you. That's a mystery for you to figure out. You're smart to be cautious either way. Good luck - but trust your instincts! Second-guessing is not usually reliable, so go with your initial gut feelings.
Ok, are you not getting enough vitamin C? Are you hanging around hospitals again? ; ) For fucks sake, get well already! Bundle up and rest!
Big love,
~Neil
Shyla
Lol I work at a restaurant and my mom works in a hospital so between the two of us were constantly passing around illness.
Fuck that, right?
I'm drinking emergen-C like it's going out of style!
Love you!
badbilly
I totally agree with wychlea. But I am a little more one the agressive side when it comes to men like your ex. A few men have walked away with physical and mental scars because I have seen them do shit like that. Is Ben the type that would say something like that just to hurt you?
Shyla
The problem is I just don't know. Like, we went to middle school together but that was a loong time ago and he's different.
badbilly
I could tell you the fastest way to find out, but that could so easily screw it up that I won't even tell you. I suggest just do what you think is right, and for god's sake, meet his friends! They will tell you a lot about him.
Shyla
I'm sleeping over at his house tonight we'll see what happens
badbilly
Make sure to tell someone if something goes wrong. If he treats you like your ex did, I will personally come down there and make him fear ever touching a woman again....
Shyla
Oh bleh, he canceled cause he's too intoxicated to drive. Waaah
badbilly
Oh well, you know he will come back though. Not many could resist you for long... And at least he isn't drinking and driving.
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that was horrible to read about your ex. thank god youve managed to get away. i hope things get sorted between you and the two other boys as well.
i just sent that bottom picture to a guy lol
xx