the other night at my boyfriend's tattoo artist's house i was sitting talking with my good friend grace about religion. I came to the conclusion that although christianity has always been a huge part of my unbringing, i tend to follow the teachings more of other philosophies. I dont like to call religion "religion" in my opinion its all philosophy. I gather bits and pieces of alot of religions to add to the collage that is my conscience. Satanism for example, teaches that the biggest sin you can commit is that of stupidity. i agree completely. Alot of non members and fans from my myspace page read my blog surprisingly which i did not know until people started making comments about it through myspace. You guys should join so when I get some naked pictures up you can cr33p those. But yeah anyway, back to the subject on hand, I think its pretty shitty how people judge you based on your lifestyle choice. So you want to live your life in black and white pressed face powder. who gives a shit. You get shuffles into a category and automatically ridiculed for being a devil worshipper. I know goths that are more christian that I will ever be. Im not gunna lie and say im a peaceful person, because im not. But  im not a complete cunt either. For the most part I enjoy chaos and mischeif making. Does this make me a bad person? Apparently to some people it does. I think its completely fucked up. Just because I pose nude on the internet that means I cannot support causes that are important to me, or find beauty in such religions as buddhism and taosim, just because they advocate complete peace and enlightenment. Does that make me a hypocrite? If it does then so be it. I find buddha sculptures beautiful and mystifying. Rosary beads and paintings of the virgin mary are beautiful also. So what if i find the writings of Anton La Vey( the founder of satanism)amazing and insightful? The poems of Aleister Crowley are more beautiful to me than some verses of the bible. When i get my apartment, its going to be full of buddha sculptures, paintings from ancient times, medical diagrams, bamboo plants. incense and candles. I have so many ideas i can hardly wait. ABC home is the most amazing place to shop for a new apartment, The store in NYC Is decorated beautfully. I also want drapes and taxidermy and huge body pillows everywhere. Instead of chairs i want giant pillows and Indian furniture, carved deep woods.  Im getting a girl boner just thinking about some of the stuff its gunna have. Anyway i need a job besides dancing naked. As soon as i start school again its gunna be like near impossible for  me to get a job during the day unless I take online courses to ease the stress so I can dance at night and work somewhere more professional during the day. All I know its my love for money is insatiable, I love expensive shit.. I am glutton. its terrible for my health. im the type of person who lives off of chinese food and has a million designer bags, gets her nails done every week and invests more in good makeup than good health insurance. My personal book collection is overflowing and growing. I like pretty things, pretty expensive hard to find things. i cant live without extravagance. books on ancient Knowledge. organic food and designer candles.  ugh i need cold hard cash to blow.