Shea's journals

haii- pics from atlantic citiiiii

atlantic city with the family was amzin :) lots of shopping time. i got a cute new bag from coach and a the new juicy couture fragrance it smellls soooo good :) since i suck at life and taking pictures heres all i got :

  heart shaped raviolis <3

 i found this in a kids candy store lol

the boardwalkkk :)

it was such gorgeous weather the whole time i was there i was literally in tears when i had to leave. i want to go back so bad and god knows when i will be able to. I wasnt allowed to go to one of the buffets because it was on a casino floor and im not 21, and me, being a giant fat ass was extremely disappointed by this. oh wellz. i made up for my dissapointment in shopping

im feeling super anxious these days ugh it sucks. ive been having trouble sleeping lately :(  sucks really bad. Lately ive been looking up doctors to go to for my breast augmentation surgery. hopefully it will get done sometime in April or May. If anyone knows any really good plastic surgeons in the NYC/NJ/C/Philedelphia area let me know !

another good weekend :) very happy with how it went <3 friday me and the bf went out to this amazing greek resturant called Nikos. it was fancyy <3 then we went home and cuddled and watched movies till we fell asleepp . the next day was pretty much a day of absolutely nothing haha, we went out ot dunkin donuts in the morning, played some mario party and then cuddled/ laze around all day. we sat on our bed and watched Baby Momma and Pineapple Express ordered some Papa johns ( which was funny because they thought we were within there delivery range, when apparently we werent, but they delivered to us anyway hah). Sunday i have to say was the best, we met up with chris's friends chris and his gf and went to the renaissance faire together. I didnt think i was gunna dig that to much but it was fucking awesome. Next week we are gunna go back ill take pics this time :)  After, we went to Woodbury commons and went to a few stores, the traffic was out of control. Everyone freaked out when we went to chanel because  there was a coat that was like 16,000 bucks. I have to admit though it was pretty ugly. Then we went to my personal favorites Juicy couture and Betsy Johnson. I miss chris so much, we have been doing so good lately its like amazing, I hate leaving him now to come home, but in a few weeks hes gunna be staying with me on a daily basis so its all good :) Today im going to atlantic city with my parents for a few days :) me and my mom have been getting along really well also, Look what she made me this morning :) yumz

updates wen i get back :)

ps holy shit its already september lol

ive been trying ot get inspired enough to write a new journal entry, but lately ive been feeling like such shit ugh. The weekend with my boyfriend was great, his family wasnt home and we spent some really cute time together  laying in our bed playing Mario Party and eating fruit grain bars. We went to the Giants vs.Jets game together on saturday by ourselves and I ate everything that giant stadium concession had to offer. Experienced some drama concerning his psychopath ex gf and her mindless insecurities thought i had an away message about her on AIM. LMAO. Though, now that I look back on it, the away message perfectly describes her and chris, the bf, agreed that it even did lmao. I bet she reads this to haha

anyway

i went to the doctors yesterday, everythings going fine & normalz. I went to an interview for a cosmotology/esthetics school here on the island yesterday called Paul Mitchell. I pretty much fell in love with it right away. The lady there was fucking amazing and the salon is HUGE. Its all a school though, but they take in clients for lower prices so the students can get a fell of how it really is to work in a salon. If I go to the school I get a whole bunch of shit including every single type of brush imaginable, haircutting shears, an eletric buzz. a new straightener( super pro), a new curling iron, all sizes of blow dryers, all the textbooks and styling products and a huge trunk of makeup. The tuition is kind of hefty but its worth it. For the program its 17,595. What rocks is I can get my hair done for free whenever i want and my family as well. thats pretty rad. I think im gunna go for it. Its seems like id fit right in to, There is no concern with funky hair colors, piercings or tattoos.

Tomoro is gunna be another really pointless day of nothingness. Fuck. Im gunna think of new things to do to my hair for my Fall Makeover :) my dog keeps on raping my other dog and its really annoying. Thats all he does the whole day, he isnt even interested in eating LOL just like a true man when it comes to humping shit.

Awh look how adorable my boyfriend used to be haha

he looks so happy :/  we are working thigs out together slowly. Things are working the way we are managing now. I miss him so much whenwe arent together it sucks.  On a lighter note though, I was talking to one of the members here on the site whose name is Chris also and he was helping me alot out with ways of getting into the Adult Business. He sent me a link to alot of the agencies that manage adult stars and as soon as im bakcin shape I will definately be applying to these sites. And get my boobie job of course :)  I was basically going stark mad scanning the playboy, hustler, and penthouse sites looking for the section where they give u the address to send in some pictures to try to be published in the magazines. It would be my dream to hear back from playboy it really would, but any onf the magazines would be fine, i mean they are all world reknown for their hot chicks. I definately want to use the name SheaLeigh Shane i think. Does anyone have any other ideas for me? What kind of name do I look like? You know how people say shit like, Oh you look like a Donna, or you look like a Victoria. What do I look like. I want a sort of rhythm to the name definately but nothing to much where its like ew look at that diva bitch. Hmphf. Im about to go eat some fruits loops and take a shower. Me and my momz are going shopping again when she gets home. yay new clothes <3 Me and her have been getting so close lately, I absolutely love it. I never knew aside from all the screaming fighting we used to go through. It sucked. Anyway i added a few pictures to the album go check them out

Shea xoxo

Lol oh yeah and i found this on some guys website..its very..interesting...I think its a cock pretzel? or  a cock wreath? Either way i thought it would decorate my journal for the day very nicely lol. The name of the painting is "euroscape" and the link to the guys website is www.pileup.com/babyart/ go in and check his shit out.

somethings on my mind maybe? lol

OKay a little update for the weekend that just passed, couldnt have been more up and down. I went to my boyfriends house on thursday to watch him finish getting tattooed by his artist. We went to artists house, chilled, ordered out mexican food and got inked. It was pretty awesome. that night, we went home and passed out after cuddling . Earlier in the day I we hung out with chase for a little while. Friday, my boyfriend skipped work, to play hooky and me and him went out, got some subway and headed to go see the movie mirrors. that shit was seriously fucked up. Saturday started off lazy and boring, and we wound up going to the movies again with chase to see Pineapple express. It was fucking hilarious not gunna lie. Sunday after walking around the mall with my boyfriend, he bough me dinner at a nice little italian resturant and some dip n' dots, i peed about 3867484078094 times, and then drive myself home back to staten island. Monday was an alright day, my mom and my grandparents and I all went to the boardwalk and took my dogs to give them some exercise. Me and my grandfather stayed behind and talked about alot together. I really miss the old days when me and him used to hang out together. We would go to the movies and the zoo by his house and spend countless hours in barnes and noble. These days though, with my situation and his parkinsons getting horrible its hard to be around him. Its sad to say but it really is. I want to remember him the way he used to be. Strong and independent. Now he cant go anywhere without using a walker. Its horrible. I have to say I have a really tight bond with my grandparents. Every thursday and Monday I would spend with them. I miss it so much. I really truly do. We ordered out greek food and brought it to there house and ate it. Im slowly realizing that I have to stop taking time for granted. Every single minute with them lately has been treasured by me. I would seriously be nothing without them :(

On a more amazing note, I spent the entire night last night with the worst heartburn mankind has ever experienced. I have NEVER gotten heartburn in my entire life. It was so bad that I basically starting vomitting uncontrollably for about 2 hours, to the point where i was actually choking. It was fucking terrible. It hurt more to lay down then anything.  There is absolutely no shit in my house for heartburn to apparently and my mom just went out and shes not picking up her cell so i can tell her i need some like really seriously bad. ITs fucking coming back. Is 24 hour heartburn even possible? It feels like there sconstant vomit rising in my throat. Are there any home remedies anyone can suggest? Water dosent even fucking help

so i picked out a full alias :) SheaLeigh Shane

a little porn star a little southern , it conjures alot of hot images in my head. Alot of dirty, hot images lol. Ive decided after October that I am gunna fully pursue Alt Modeling, and Alt Porn. Alot of people are going to say some negative things about this but frankly i dont give a fuck.  Since this is an Alt porn site, people shouldnt have a problem with that, but apparently they still do for some rele strange reason. So if you have any problems with that where you have to be a complete jerk about the subject, privately email me. Some of the hottest girls on the site are doing Alt Porn and still ive heard them being talked down apon when no one is around. Its a life decision, but Im willing to change my life for it. My friends and family of course will know, Its not something Im gunna choose to keep from them, but im completely and utterly happy with my decision. ive been toying with the idea for awhile now and Ive finally come to the realiztion that this is what i want to do in life. I will be going to school on the side for pyschology, and then beautician school on top of that to get my license as a makeup artist. Im going to be a busy bee :) and thats what keeps me happy, having a million things to do, because in that i feel safe. Somewhere in between that schedule I also need to get another job to help support my nasty spending habit. I hope everyone sticks by me with this decision including my boyfriend, who although we fight like fucking idiots, i still care about. its hard to let something go when its all youve ever had.

i feel like im in another body lately. this whole experience is fucking crazy. Yesterday and today were two really amazing days for me. Yesterday I went out with my mom after my doctors appointment, and we went shopping for some clothes that actually fit. I bought a a few rele cute dresses and  a whole bunch of new undies and boy shorts :) After that we went out to target and bought more shit that we probably dont need. After that we went to the boardwalk with some burger king picnicz and went to Ben & Jerrys and got some milkshakes to go with. Went for a short walk along the water and then came home. At night we ordered some pizza, fresh mozzarella and basil :)  Today i went out with my mom and grandparents again to the beach and went out to this super super fancy resturant called South Fin grill. The food was amzing. and beign with my family was awesome. We went to ben and jerrys again after that and i had double chocolate brownie fudge  like a fattieee :) tomoro is chris's bday so thats cool i guess. its not gunan be great because we are both in shitty moods lately so whatever. im so used to it haha. peace out

so this last weekend i.e friday,sat and sunday, were pretty eventful. I hung out with Chase on saturday night with my boyfriend and we went to a party at her friend's house. After that we went out to a diner at like 2 am and my fat ass had chicken fingers and a fruit salad. we talked about possibly moving into an apartment together in Nyack NY. Its a really cute town, tons of little shops, vegan & organic stores, amazing resturants and this really awesome buddhist/hippie art gallery/cafe/hang out spot. Me and Chris went back on Sunday to check the place out after having some greek food. The people that owned the place were super amazing and friendly. They talked to us for about 20 minutes, describing their dreams for the place. It is lovely, dimly lit, filled with tree carved buddha sculptures, Koi fish paintings, incense and Gold religious sculptures. The even sell watermelong slices at the cute little snack bar :) The place is called The Dharma Dicso & Art Gallery. Please check out their website at nyackbuddha.com. Heres a few pics of the place

After we went to the mall and my fat ass got a 12 oz. Orange Passion Fruit Mango Jamba Juice and a cookies and cream custard flurry thing. Mmm. Bought some more makeup in sephora ( well chris did for me <3) and then set out for the wonderful drive home back to staten island and away from my baby :(

Today though I have a doctors appointment and Im bummed. I dont feel like getting a cold thing shoved up my vag this morning. Ugh. Thursday is chris's bday and i still have to buy him a card and I am completely broke. I need to get on that asap. I already got him the kitten he wanted as a present so thats taken care of. well im off to get specculumed. Yay! After i make me some PB&J

xoxo Shea

ps ppl have asked me a list for a list of interests that isnt on my constant changing basis, they want the permanent shit. so here we go

1. v-necks with throat tattoos


2. american apparel


3. vegetarian spaghettios


4. Jamba Juice


5. Cold sheets


6. godsgirls.com


7. extensions


8. Juicy couture


9. the writings of aleister crowley and anton lavey


10. flannel


11. MAC makeup


12. buddhism


13. owls


14. expensive shit


15. agent provacteur lingerie


16. chaos


17. stilettos


18. strippers


19. cold hard cash


20. hustling


21. betsy johnson


22. sephora


23. Tarsiers


24. lol cats


25. texting


26. fucking


27. blogging


28. NYC


29. european bar hopping


30. black metal


31. GTFO

the other night at my boyfriend's tattoo artist's house i was sitting talking with my good friend grace about religion. I came to the conclusion that although christianity has always been a huge part of my unbringing, i tend to follow the teachings more of other philosophies. I dont like to call religion "religion" in my opinion its all philosophy. I gather bits and pieces of alot of religions to add to the collage that is my conscience. Satanism for example, teaches that the biggest sin you can commit is that of stupidity. i agree completely. Alot of non members and fans from my myspace page read my blog surprisingly which i did not know until people started making comments about it through myspace. You guys should join so when I get some naked pictures up you can cr33p those. But yeah anyway, back to the subject on hand, I think its pretty shitty how people judge you based on your lifestyle choice. So you want to live your life in black and white pressed face powder. who gives a shit. You get shuffles into a category and automatically ridiculed for being a devil worshipper. I know goths that are more christian that I will ever be. Im not gunna lie and say im a peaceful person, because im not. But  im not a complete cunt either. For the most part I enjoy chaos and mischeif making. Does this make me a bad person? Apparently to some people it does. I think its completely fucked up. Just because I pose nude on the internet that means I cannot support causes that are important to me, or find beauty in such religions as buddhism and taosim, just because they advocate complete peace and enlightenment. Does that make me a hypocrite? If it does then so be it. I find buddha sculptures beautiful and mystifying. Rosary beads and paintings of the virgin mary are beautiful also. So what if i find the writings of Anton La Vey( the founder of satanism)amazing and insightful? The poems of Aleister Crowley are more beautiful to me than some verses of the bible. When i get my apartment, its going to be full of buddha sculptures, paintings from ancient times, medical diagrams, bamboo plants. incense and candles. I have so many ideas i can hardly wait. ABC home is the most amazing place to shop for a new apartment, The store in NYC Is decorated beautfully. I also want drapes and taxidermy and huge body pillows everywhere. Instead of chairs i want giant pillows and Indian furniture, carved deep woods.  Im getting a girl boner just thinking about some of the stuff its gunna have. Anyway i need a job besides dancing naked. As soon as i start school again its gunna be like near impossible for  me to get a job during the day unless I take online courses to ease the stress so I can dance at night and work somewhere more professional during the day. All I know its my love for money is insatiable, I love expensive shit.. I am glutton. its terrible for my health. im the type of person who lives off of chinese food and has a million designer bags, gets her nails done every week and invests more in good makeup than good health insurance. My personal book collection is overflowing and growing. I like pretty things, pretty expensive hard to find things. i cant live without extravagance. books on ancient Knowledge. organic food and designer candles.  ugh i need cold hard cash to blow.

i want all of this in my belly now. i adopted a kitten yesterday :) its tiny and black, its names midnight but im going to change that its so unorinigal. i think the guy we got the kitten from stole my boyfriends sidekick though which kinda sucks but is kind of funny at the same time, because we were standing in front of him the whole time, so he had to be pretty fucking sneaky about it.  whatever. the day before that i went to the brooklyn animal shelter where they  put the animals to sleep after a certain amount of time, and it was so depressing looking at all the dogs that were probably gunna be put down. They were mostly pits, ranging from 2 to 3 years old. ugh

anyway i want to go to six flags and ride the new dark knight roller coaster. sucks that i cant ugh.

i want lots of hello kitty sushi in my belly. lots and lots but im gunna go settle for apple slices and strawberry orange juice. peace out

myspace.com/xstaycoldx