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Life is such a rollar coaster, ups and downs, making you feel excited and sick all at the same time.
These last few weeks have been amazing, but I've also had some saddness. Let's start with the happy, shall we?
My first pro set went live on Friday. Words cannot descirbe how exciting that was. And you all have done it again! Making me feel all warm and fuzzy with your comments! I love each and every one of you. Out of all the sets Matthew and I did, this one was the one was I interested, be it a little hesitant, to see. I was attempting to look dark, deranged, and doll-like which apparently to me means barbie arms and a chalk outline pose :) It turned out so much more amazing then I had imagined. I love the last 2 shots in the set. Matthew suggested we do the Spiderman/Mary Jane kiss, which was classic. If you haven't yet, go look and leave me a comment!! My undying love and gratitude will follow

I went to my friends bridal shower. We ate BBQ and made toilet paper dresses. Our team was not victorious. We totally should have won, I mean, we did make up the actual bride. And who the hell cares if our dress was hideous?! We made her accesories. Beat that!! Don't be fooled by her less then enthusiastic face, she fucking loved it. No matter what she says.....

  And I love meat

Now, for the sad. My grandma passed away on Sunday. She was 89 years old. My heart just aches, I miss her so much. I remember going to her house everyday after school, eating nutter butters and watching game shows. She was incredible. She was married when she was really young, to a man who was horrible and cruel. And after years of abuse, in 1945, when it was almost unheard of, she left him with her 2 children and went to live with her sister on the local military base in the city where I currently live. She was 26. It was there she met a sailor, 8 years her junior and 17 days later, they were married. In June, they celebrated their 63rd anniversary. It breaks my heart to see him, so lost. She was so awesome, everything a grandma should be and more. She was hip to what was going on in the world. She loved to dress up and be sexy, wearing hot pants to my moms wedding when my grandma was just turning 50. She was so warm and caring, literally everyone who knew her, loved her. I know she's in a better place and she's no longer suffering, but it doesn't ease the ache of missing her. The wake is on Thursday and the funeral on Friday. I haven't been in that mortuary since Jay passed away and I'm really quite nervous about it. I wonder if the memories will all come flooding back at once or if I'll be able to just focus and be in the moment. My grandfather has asked me to do her makeup. I have never done anything like that before. I know it will be hard, I'm most certainly not looking forward to it. I do understand, they don't want strangers making her up. They want her to look like her. My aunt will be with me, doing her hair. The memory of seeing Jay like that still haunts me and it makes me wonder if it will be more of the same with her? Maybe not. Jay's death was such a shock and he was so young. I think life has made me slightly morbid, putting me in situations that I don't think normal people really have to do. But then again, what is normal? You never really know what's going on behind the curtains.

  The past few weeks my heart has been so content and warm. I owe it all to my special somebody who has been there for me whenever I needed him.

  And I'd also like to mention that our fearless leader, beautiful Annaliese, is a complete angel. She's amazing and I think that needs no explaination.

   Anyways, I leave you with Peter Gabriel.

  Hugs and snuggles

 xoxox