GodsGirl : Rikki > journals > reading "RIP Mitra Luce"
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I found out a good friend of mine from back east committed suicide. I was so sad and angry and heartbroken. This is the third person I've lost from back home since I moved to Seattle. It makes me feel very guilty for leaving. I was thinking about getting a memorial tattoo. I remember when I got my memorial tattoo for my little sister who committed suicide in '04, everyone in my family thought it was a stupid idea and did not know why i got it. I guess tattoos are just the way I deal with stuff. I'm thinking of either getting a four leaf clover, since he was born on st patricks day. or a pumpkin, in middle and high school we called him meter meter pumpkin eater. his name is mitra. was mitra.
losing mitra has really made me realize how i've really lost everyone. i dont talk to anyone from vermont anymore, so when he died i almost felt like i didnt deserve to feel upset because i hadn't kept in touch with him. god, so much has happened and there is so much i want to tell my old friends from back home.
its just so weird that we used to be so close and now we haven't talked in like, years.
i wish i could just talk to someone and tell them everything that has happened and why i haven't kept in touch, but i'd be too ashamed.
i miss high school. and vermont. and my friends.
i need a fucking hug.
Viewing 6 comments on this page
Martini07
*big hugs* I'm so sorry. If you ever wanna talk about it or need someone to talk to feel free to send me a message =)
missmoneypenny
same applies. I have attempted suicide myself and so I do understand
Idolizeme
I'm really sorry to hear that you lost your friend. I know it's tough to be away from home when something like this happens. I was away when my father passed away.
If you need a hug or someone to talk just let me know.
**Hug**
Rikki
yeah i know how you feel too. i was away when my sister died, and my boyfriends father just passed away while he was out of town, too.
it really helps me to know people are there for me and have been through the same thing, it kind of snaps me out of the depression to realize life goes on.
Idolizeme
I know it's really tough to step back and continue with your own life. But at the same time I've learn that you can't take what you have for granted. But it's still tough. Just let me know if you need to talk.
**Hug**
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My heart goes out to you, doll. Its not fair when someone does something like that. They're just turning their backs on people who care about them the most.
I don't want to rant too much, so I'll send you a big *hug* instead.