GodsGirl : Rakkell > journals > reading "my dog just got put to sleep"
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My dog got put to sleep today at 5pm
My Marley, one of my two dogs, no one of my two babies.
I can hardly breath, I can't stop crying, I don't know what to do.
She had cancer, It was killing her. The chemo didn't help much, it all got worse today, I came home early just to be with her, I st with her all night for the past week or so. The vet came to my home to end her suffering, I held her as her powerful strong body went limp in my arms, I held her head in my hands till the recognition in her eyes was gone.
Watching the life drain from her body was the hardest thing i have ever seen or done. I owed it to her to be there for her as she always was for me.
She was my sister, my best friend, my child, my confidant, my companion...everything I needed all in one big bundle of fur & love. I don't honestly know how I'm gonna cope without her, my other dog who is all the same things to me Marley was will keep me going. I need Marley in my life.
I held her till she went cool, i've had her buried in my garden, I had the hole dug today - just in case, She'll be happy there, I buried her laying on her bed, how she would lay, with her two favourite cuddley toys (her babies).
She wasn't even old. Fuck i miss her so much. I just saved some food gave half to Winnie then went to give the rest to Marley. My house feels empty without. Winnie's acting strange. I know I did what was right for her, but fuck it hurts so much. I like Marley more than most people I know. She wasn't even old.
Fuck I miss her so much, I'm gonna have to end this journal here, I can't see for tears to type.
My baby - I'm sorry there wasn't more I could do. No more pain, rest in peace beautiful baby girl.
Viewing 14 comments on this page
wychlea
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry! I know it hurts, but it's so much better than having her suffer through the pain of having cancer.
I send you huge hugs, Rakkell!
<3
~ Neil
JustinCali
I'm soo sorry lady..theres nothing more rough then losing a pet especially one thats been with you for soo long..although she wasn't old, you did everything that was right for her, and I'm sure she's thankful for that..
Vaalea
that's so sad :( I'm sorry...
but she probably had a great life thanks to you and died happy.
courage babygirl <3
Sumo813
That's rough. It's a tough situation to be in because pets ARE family... and one passing is no less hurtful than another family member passing. After my last pet was put to sleep (a cat... "Fat Boy"... he was fat and not so active... like me) I balled like a little bitch.
We just had a conversation similar to this after lunch yesterday because two of my friends have family that are on their deathbed (one of the guys is a HUGE dog lover)... and we were talking about how Kavorkian had it right... you know? How could you know that someone is suffering so much and not do something about it? Even if they asked you to help them end their suffering?
Hopefully your hurt wont last for too long, but I am sure you miss your dog. :(
*BIGHUG*
James
Awww I am so sorry! I had to put my Cat to sleep years ago and he was really old...that was one of the hardest things I ever had to do :-( I still miss him...it was such a cool Cat! I know excactly what your going through! I send you lots of Hugs!
Neko
I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to loose a pet, because they are so much more than just an animal... they become part of us and our families. I send my condolences, and truly wish that you can move on and be happy. Remember all the good times. I am glad she is at peace now <3
Charity
Oh my gosh you poor thing! Sounds like you were very brave!
I'd be so heart broken too... *hug*
xoxo
Kemper
this makes me sreally sad :( :(.
hope you feel better soon love
xx
Gretchen
sorry to hear about this :( hope you feel better soon lovely
<3
Mikeyepit
thankx for the add :)
MI[K]
wpaule
I am sorry for your loss. I know how it is to lose a beloved freind like that. I know its not much comfort right now but the pain will ease with time. You have my deepest sympathies.
farmerted
sending love to you <3
Athame
Thanks for the request!
I'm so sorry for your loss.I send my deepest condolences. Omg I'd be devastated as well. I have two dogs that are like my kids. I feel your pain.
Your dog was so beautiful wow impressive. So gorgeous.
She is at peace.
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shes a beautiful dog and your tribute does her memory justice. Its so hard to heve been there for her but you'll always be glad that you were even though it was so hard for you. Just remember that shes not in pain anymore and has one on to a happier place. You'll always keep her in your memory and she'll always be watching out for you ijm sure xxxxxxx
chin up darl you did what you had to and did what was best
<3