GodsGirl : Porcelain > journals > reading "this is a little late..."
back to the profile of Porcelain
but jesus lord almighty....i NEED to write an entry about my trip back from orlando.
most incredible airport experience EVER.
let me just start this story from the begining.
SO. adneris and i have to wake up super early for my flight, which is evil all on its own. i get in the car, and the entire crotch of my pants splits open. amazing, i know.
both of us are super tired and groggy, so adneris accidenally drops me off at northwest, instead of southwest. so not her fault. i didnt realise either. and it was fucking early. this is the point where i realise southwest is on the opposite side of the airport. i even have to get on one of those "the floor moves for you" things. no, i dont know what theyre actually called. yes, i am that amazing.
i get to southwest. NO FUCKING SHIT, i am SO not exadurating......a MINIMUM of 150 fucking ppl in line waiting to check into JUST southwest. maybe this is just sooooo normal for you, but fuck shit damn! ive never experienced anything like it before in my life. im in line for nearyly an hour jsut to check in. im offering ppl 20 to let me cut them. NO ONE. in fact, I was cut at one point.
so. i get to the area before security. another huge god damn forsaking line. im BEGGING ppl to let me cut them. im like "please! my flight leaves in 15 min!". these ppl were much nicer. like 20 ppl let me cut them. then i get to this old woman thats telling me im breaking the law? and that im going to be arrested if i get caught? the ppl behind her were telling her to shut the fuck up. it was awesome. i cut her and she whispered ridiculous shit in my ear.
all i had to wait for was this black family in front of me. they, of course, took 6 years. not a black joke. more of an irony joke. shut up.
i get to security. i had to take off my shoes and jacket for them to check my shit, which always sucks. and when i finally get through, i realize that i dont have time to put any of that shit back on.
so im running toward my gate number with my shoes and jacket in my hand, my crotchless jeans, and my titties flopping fucking EVERYWHERE because i was wearing a wife beater with no bra.
a lot of stares.
there were many stares.
i get to a god damn METRO THING, which is supposed to get me to my gate.
FUCK YOU, METRO THING.
i knew it was going to be a battle to get off the metro thing first. and with such little time to spare!!! why?!? why, southwest?!? why have you betrayed me so?!!?!?!?
those doors opened.....and i fucking SLAUGHTERED some baggage. like damn. my small, but fierce, B cups were wacking bitches in the god damn face. i even knocked over a small asian woman. dont worry, i noticed some dudes were helping her up, from my periferal(sp) vision. at that moment, i kocked over a plant as well.
i could see my gate number!! YES!!!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMN VICTORY!
then.......
THEN.....
this CUNT starts shutting the door, before my very eyes.
"WAIT!" i cried. "im here!!! thats my flight!!!!"
this bitch.....
"its too late, ma'am"
my plane is fucking sitting there. looking me dead in the eye, and saying "you want on this shit? theres a seat with your name allll over it"
so i say to this fuckbitch "but im here! i have my ticket right here!"
"no you dont"
"what the fuck do you mean i dont?? its right here."
"not if your flight has been deleted from the computer system"
"the FUCK. WHY would you do that???"
"its what we do when youre too late"
*slams door*
BITCH BITCH BITCH. I WILL KILL YOU AND ALL YOUR UGLY FRIENDS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
i will end this journal entry in saying......thank god i wore underwear that day.
Viewing 27 comments on this page
Evelyn
hahahhaa +10000
Eddie
Airports seriously suck balls.
Matilda
aww im sorry that it sucked this bad
how ever this journal entry made me laugh
if i ever see you running in the airport ill make sure i get in your way so your titties can knock me over
:)
Addison
haha
i doubt ill do much better when i fly to dublin later this year. im trying to move there and ive never been on a plane except once when i was little and i dont remember it. i dont even know what to do at the airport.
glowskull
thanks for giving me a heads up on what to expect when i fly out of orlando in a few months, that story is pretty epic.
wychlea
I would have found a way to kill her. Really. Fucking closing that door on you like that...fucking cunt. :)
FLIPZ5
this is one of the more exciting journals i've read.
i dont think theres any excuse really for being a douchebag when you're at work and you can clearly help someone out.
i just dealt with one of those door people at a club who convinced themselves they "own" the club.
i digress.
but i think that's what you get for trying to leave florida so soon...im just sayin.
<3
Anja
holy crap! this is the reason why i HATE flying so damn much.
wow, so did you have to book a seat on another flight or something? that sucks so bad.
Fluidspin530
wow,that made me laugh out loud,like 20 times
which is good-but im sooo at work right now...i think im busted
and from my mental pic.-are u sure when people saw u running they werent geting in ur way on purpose?
typically if i see someone coming at me i get the fuck out of the way
but if i saw that seen maybe not sooo much....
oh and yeah maybe that was a sign u should have stayed a little longer!
how the hell did u finally get home?
Porcelain
i had to book another flight. :(
Aglaia
did it cost you more?!
Porcelain
negative. :)
Aglaia
whew. well that's good alteast, sorta.
Alice
holy shit! what a self righteous cunt! I cant believe she wouldnt let you on the plane!!
djcoreystuart
Remind me never to go to that airport. I had a similar experience with Delta coming back from a gig in Celaya Mexico. This was in 2001, and me and my then manager had our connecting flight arrive from Mexico City in Atlanta. I hate Atlanta's airport, no offense to you Atlantians.
Get there, and the fucking concourse gates are from high to low number. We had to get to Gate 7, or something like that. Missed our flight by a measly FIVE MINUTES, and had to remain at the terminal for 8 hours for the next available flight with room for us.
Delta is a terrible airline to begin with. They and that fucking airport in Atlanta, if human, would be fuck buddies. I've had to spend the night on the floor there due to unreasonably cancelled flights, dealt with them losing my luggage (it arrives last minute in NC, hours before I'm due to go on local tv for an interview....contained all my stage clothes, dj gear and music assortment and promo material).
Delta should stand for "Dont Expect Luggage To Arrive."
Love the B-cups hitting pedestrians in the face comment.
Regards,
Corey
www.coreystuart.com
Turandot
Bwahaha! Welcome to OIA, baby! That's pretty much how it always goes there, so they're not kidding when they say arrive 2 hours early. Next time, if there is a next time, try to find a flight into Sanford. And yes, you totally remember me from that weekend. I have your phone number. >:)
Therese
I love the suspense build-up in the story, haha
I hate hauling ass/having to rush, ESPECIALLY through airports. That sucks many a cock.
Megan
I would have loved to be the small asian woman who got slapped over with your boobs.
And yeah, it sounds like experiance at the las vegas airport, i made my flight by literally 1 minute. I always have bad luck at airports though.
Aria
oh. my. god. I can just imagine you in this situation. I had to laugh but damn that must have sucked. At least you are safe and sound now. xo
Steam
Oh my gosh. all these adventures to not even get it. This has to be the worse morning story i have heard for a very long time.
But yes, at least you had panties on ! :)
Aglaia
ok, why the FUCK had i not seen this blog before?!
i must say, this the FUNNIEST shit i've read in a long time. how did you ever get home, you poor dear? you should have come stayed with me. =D
Athame
Wow that's a fucked up day..sorry to hear that.
Cyn
What a cunt.....wow it still made me giggle tho I would have punch her lol...
Kellymichelle
Ha, holy fuck. Hilarious but so fucked.
Anya
"so im running toward my gate number with my shoes and jacket in my hand, my crotchless jeans, and my titties flopping fucking EVERYWHERE because i was wearing a wife beater with no bra."
i so wished i had seen this!!!
Tristyn
damn thats fucked!! but was a great story =]
back to the profile of Porcelain
this entry made me laugh for like 20 minutes
i am so sorry about your shitty airport experience
but you can always hit me int he face with your titties.