GodsGirl : Neko > journals > reading "Neko truly is single"
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As you all know, my boy and I broke up at the start of the year. We spent a few weeks barely talking and I felt okay.. but then things became really, really hard. We started to hang out and claimed we just wanted to be besties and spend time together. It lead to the occasional sexy time and cuddles and all the kinds of things that prevent one from moving on from a relationship.
In our defences, we mostly just hung out as pals, but occasionally we had coupley moments. We spent valentines together and got each other a gift. I handmade him a card, but inside I wrote "MY BFFFL, i love you" instead of shit like "youre my heart, lover, soulmate, ETC".
Now I started to feel weird lately, because we began to act all relationshippy. Moreso. For about a week or two I felt like I was no longer single and it was so confusing.
To avoid going through the whole "we-are-friends-but-sometimes-hold-hands" shit, we just told a select few that we were basically together. It seemed simpler that way. But we weren't. And as soon as the coupley behaviour began, so did the problems that so affected us when we were together.
So recently we had a big chat and decided to seriously call it quits and truly stop spending so much time together. I said maybe I had panicked about loosing my best friend, which is perhaps why we continued to, on occasion, sleep together etc.... It's a little sad, a little weird, but I think it's totally for the best to set a specific boundary - No more coupley behaviour.
I expect we will be spending much less time together and eventually move on. Scary! He said we had to promise not to be total jerks to each other's new lovers. Haha, totally fair call =)
Lets see if we can truly be friends without falling into old habits. I think it will be hard as I said, and we will spend shitloads less time together. I am going to need my pals so I keep busy. Thank god I am being tattooed tomorrow andddd have a bunch of kickass pals.
SGJKSDFGNJKDNGSDKN
Anyway, I finally got my preeettyyyy shiny new Macbook. I finally own a laptop, and my life is much richer for it. SRSLY <3
Viewing 7 comments on this page
TheSquall
First of all: yay new MacBook! I can't wait to see more vlogs! :D
Secondly: What you did was a good thing. It's hard losing a lover, but anytime that it stays as "good friends with benefits", you never can move on. I used to be like that with my old ex... and so we dated on and off for about 2 years because of that. Finally, we called it quits, but it took a long time. Basically, I congratulate you on being strong and hope you can keep that strength for the next couple of months, when it really tries on you.
Either way, *hugs* hehe. I said your name in my first ever vlog btw, if you ever saw it. :)
cooperloveyou
hurray for non messy breakups????
every one loves friends
and hurray for tattooing!!!
steeevil
i definitely know how that is. after me and my ex broke up, it was almost like a have your cake and eat it too thing because she already had another boyfriend, and i'd still take her out and we'd still act like a couple and everything. it kind of stopped after i found out she got married 2 months after the breakup and got knocked up, though. heh. at least now we can be other continent pretend internet lovers now. hahah.
xMangox650x
definitely call stop the coupley stuffs if problems began again, but continue to be friends at least like you said you were
i will remember tomorrow as the day we both got tattooed, as i will also be getting inked =]
bookofenoch
I am truly jealous that you two can be so civil to one another. My ex-fiancee won't even talk to me.
I get what you mean about not wanting to lose your best friend.
Neko
this is honestly the first time in my entire life that an ex of mine does not hate me completely, and vice versa. its rare. its hard, and its really unexpected. im so sorry to hear about your ex fiance *hug*
back to the profile of Neko
Well, I think this is the best decision. It's so hard when you break up - but it's great if you can still be friends. You just have to find the right amount of 'hangin out' time. And I think at first, you have to seperate and really make it feel like you've broken up. Otherwise, like you said, it feels like nothing has really changed.
So, good for you. Don't see each other for a while. Make your friends take you out places. :)
Oooo, shiney new Mac book....Lucky!
OXOX