Katrina's journals

The RNC has brought a ton of protesters. Today me and Max went out with video camera and caught all the police and protesting action that took place only a few blocks down from my apartment. Being so close to the capitol has had it's ups and downs.

They set off tear gas and strobe bombs along with red smoke bombs just a bit ago. We were outside scrambled in the mess. The tear gas only managed to give me a mild head ache and smelt horrible, although I wasn't in the main cloud of it all. I was just a by stander.

It was actually pretty frightening even being as close as I was.

I saw more police than I think I've ever seen in my entire life. Swat police. Vans full of army men. Over twenty police on horses as well as over twenty police on bikes. Then more cops than I could ever count kept appearing in vehicles.

We actually managed to get pretty good footage that we now have to keep for our little home video history madness collection which I am sure will grow as long as I live with Max and all his video equipment and need to get out in the action!

I saw a girl strapped down in a swat car because she wouldn't stop protesting and more than 100 people were zip tied to the marion/kellogg bridge and were to be off to jail very soon when I left to go back to our apartment.

With this song and video right now.
Perhaps it's because I like the beginning where he's fucking his girlfriend.


she reminds me of the one in school
when I was cut and she was dressed in white
and I couldn't take my eyes off her
but that's not what I took off that night

and she'll never cover up what we did with her dress, no
she said, "kiss me, it'll heal but it won't forget"
"kiss me, it'll heal but it won't forget"

I don't mind you keeping me on pins and needles
if I could stick to you and you stick me, too

don't break, don't break my heart
and I won't break your heart-shaped glasses
little girl, little girl you should close your eyes
that blue is getting me high



she reminds of the one I knew that cut-up the negatives of my life
I couldn't take my hands off her, she wouldn't let me be anywhere but inside



What is my obsession with Marilyn Manson today?

I want to wear a skirt and some nylons.



White. White. White.
AHHHHH

I'm waiting to hear from my friend so I CAN LEAVE>














I want to go to California. Bring me there.

And we are going to watch the L word and eat food.

I have been very lazy lately and have been taking many naps.

I am drinking a beer right now.. Caila is taking a 40 day sober journey. I wish I could..

I have to work later on tonight. I need to pick up more work hours because there is bills to pay and rent.. I wonder what's going on with our new roommate situation?

My cat is playing in her water dish right now.

It's pretty hott out today.

I better go find my dvd player and bring it downstairs so me and Caila can watch our show.

My ichat won't work lately :(

Why do I feel the need to be perfect?
No one is perfect?

Why do I try to accomplish un accomplishable goals. Am I setting myself up for failure?

What is the point?

Why do I blame my father for causing me to feel this way?

Is it because he only wanted the best for me?

My mother often tells me, if you can't do it. Then don't but, if you can.. then do it.

No one needs to be perfect do they? They tell me... We're better  off than most people our age... But why do i want so much more?

I know perfection isn't the key... But can't I be better than I am now??

I don't know which direction I am going and that scares me?

My mother... Is so trapped, her children taking advantage of her, I will be the first to admit... My mom is paying for my car insurance and my cell phone bill... Being a grown women shouldn't you be paying for this yourself? Why aren't I? Because I can't get a good job? Because I won't go back to school??? Because I ? Who knows..

I am feeling like I should suck up... And grow up....  I should know whats best for me... And if I don't at least I should work for things that will better me in the future instead of watching others accomplish their goals while I sit back and watch.

I don't need to be perfect, I need to realize this... I just need to work towards better goals...

Today I went to the liquor store and bought my own booze for the first time in my life. It has been a couple days since my birthday, I haven't really felt like drinking but today I DO!
I have to get to bed early because I have to work early so I have started to drink early.
It's really not that exciting what I got..

A six pack of lienes
and a nasty forty that I will never get again.
I have started on the 40 oz first and may break into my six pack if I feel the need, although I most likely won't. I just felt like I should buy something for the boys that live with me if I was coming home with  something for myself, I just know they would bitch since they have been buying me booze for years.

I was lazy again today, and didn't accomplish much.

Me and Caila started to prepare for our camping trip, we bought our groceries and started getting together all our camping gear. Now I just need to pack it up and wait till it's time to go.

I know I said I was going back to school this year but I'm not sure now, I still haven't signed up for the classes I need. I still need to take an assessment and I still need to pay my tuition. Wish me luck, encourage me.

I am so dumb. I burnt my face with a cigarette on Saturday and now i have this horrible scab on my chin! My fucking chin! I have no idea how I even managed to do that. I am just feeling so ugly about it. Haha.. I want to put a bandaid on it but I suppose that would be worse a huge bandaid on my chin!

I have some clothes to bring to the thrift store, I was going to sell them at Buffalo Exchange but it's a further drive than the thrift store and I am lazy.
They just need to get out of the house.Max is at work right now.

I am a lazy girl.

And I never leave my apartment.

My family got me lots of Hello kitty things for my birthday. I got a hello kitty steering wheel cover and a seat coverup for my car! And then I got a hello kitty lunch box and lunch baggies and little hello kitty ice packs. They totally got them in the target dollar area! AMAZING STUFF.

It was okay.
I'm really tired today.
I want to go back to sleep.
I think I have some things to do today and my apartment is really messy.

I'm feeling really ugly today and want to go eat at an expensive restaurant.

I need to relax.

I need to go shopping and I need to be rich.

My stomach is upset.

I want to take a shower but I am too lazy right now, and feel like I would just get dirty again so i am going to wait until the morning.
Jason is living my spare bedroom for the month.
He bought me these sweet soap things :

Their so pretty I don't even want to wash my hands with the petals. They just sit in my soap dish.

Max cut his hair short, I like it. I think he's cute stuff.



I need to trim my bangs again. Bangs are so hard to keep up!


I'm talking to my Cali friend Travis on Aim right now, I love him.


I saw Megan today, she visited me at work. It was her birthday.

I need to hang out with her like mega soon. I shall ask her when she is off next.

Here is a pic of me and Megan:

Feel free to help me out with any ideas.
I've started with my feet.
( i posted this in the health & body forum also )
I did a foot soak, with bath salts that smelt so good! I got them from my best friend Jason today who returned to MN. I soaked my feet for 15 minutes. Then I took my pumice stone and went to work. After I decided they felt smooth enough and that i had removed all of the dry skin I took them out patted them dry and applied some foot lotion. Then I put some socks on to help the lotion stay in. I heard if you have really dry feet to lotion then wrap with Saran wrap, but that sounds sort of creepy to me and I have three boys staying at my place right now that would just have a cow and I would near hear the end of walking around with my feet wrapped up. Haha..

Now I want to work on my legs, but I suppose there is not much I can do unless I plan on taking a shower and exfoliating and shaving them + lotioning, which I can do in the morning before I go out. I'd like to be a slight bit tanner, but am afraid of tanning because of skin cancer, and am also concerned about applying a sunless tanner fucking up and having orange leg or blotchy-ness.

I need to take my daily vitamin.

I think now, I might trim my bangs and pluck my eyebrows.

If it wasn't so hott I would light a candle for some aromatherapy but I might just go sit in the air conditioning and forget about that.

Sorry, if I lost any guys that may be reading this..

Here may be some more interesting news... Max just bought a whole bunch of computer parts and is building his own. It has the same power as my macbook pro but costs him less to build it himself. He told me he has a really kick ass video card, although I don't know much about the stats on those.
He'll be doing a lot more video for shows with his new system since it goes so much faster.

Tonight, for dinner I cooked a pasta with sundried tomato pesto sauce and I added in fresh tomatoes red onions and parmesan on the top. I have leftovers for later :)

Tomorrow morning me, Jason, My sister and my mom are going to the Uptown Art Fair, I really can't spend any money but it will be fun! I am going to dress for hot weather because thats what the news said! This will be the first time my sister and mom meet Jason. he's been my best friend for a while now, so they have heard a lot about him.


Well thats all now!

I guess you can consider it that.
I like fucking well I'm not scared of it.
But like if someone gets too drunk I'm always afraid of them puking like I'm always super concerned about it. And won't hang out with people who get too drunk and puke. I'm afraid they are going to puke on my floor. LIke this kid in my living room right now, Max's friend. He's all drunk and can't  walk and keeps coughing so I had to come lock myself in my room. I can't stand it.
It's such a weird thing to be so freaked out about i know.

I don't really puke like ever. So I never have to deal with it. cause I can't deal with it. It's not like it super grosses me out and I get sick it's just like I can't stand it. I can't be near it or anything. It's the worstest thing in the whole world.

Hahaha..

Does that make me crazy and strange? I've been like this since a little kid and all my best friends know how it freaks me out. Caila knows that even making a fake puking noise will run me out of the room. She thinks it's hilarious.

I'm doing some pantyhose fetish videos in the morning. Got my outfits all picked out and I'm ready to go.. 400$ baby here I come! I love money.

And then I have a taste test on Thursday for yogurt. 30$ to try some fucking yogurt, YESSSSSSS..

And then I get paid from Bloomingdale's on Friday. but it's not much at all :(
I have to pay rent this week, electrical, apartment fees....
Only leaving me with 150$ from all my money left :( Max says I Should just save the 100$ and I can spend the 50$ on whatever I want.

He's probably right.

Maybe me and mom will go shopping for new shoes, the next day I'm off.. Or we're going to an art show on Friday and maybe I will find some art for the wall! Maybe something for the bedroom. I want to paint one of my bedroom walls but I don't know if I should do a design or just paint the whole thing solid. I am going to need a high ladder since my ceiling are like 12 feet.

I think the boys are going upstairs. I am going to investigate.