bust in your mouth like gushers 08/12/08 05:30 pm pst
Listening to: natalie portman. WHAAAT?!
at this moment i am eating lasagna, drinking the remnants of my iced caramel macchiato from... four hours ago... and thrusting my pelvis like a stripper because i am listening to britney spears.
... why do you people even like me? sheesh. oh wait, you dig me for my cat.
that was her being pissed that i was ignoring her for my henry rollins book collection. oh, what a sexy, angry, hateful, lonely person he was circa 1998. i want to wrap myself in that gym-addicted version of him just as he was starting to go gray at the temples. instead i fell asleep face-down on the pages. is that like book rape?
my brother finally got back to me last night--via text message at 1am when he was drunk. the kid can't spell to save his life anyway, so deciphering those texts was definitely an arduous task. turns out he is going to [insert name of awesome NHL team here] training camp for a week or two before flying to canada to start the season. i seriously expect to be telling y'all in the next 3 years that my brother has been drafted to the NHL.
which brings me to my next point... my brother grew again. he's fucking 6'5". IS THIS EVEN REAL?!?!?! i kinda hate him because this means he likely really will reach 6'7". most guys over 6'4" are goofy looking. then again i also happen to think my brother and i look like siblings.. yet people constantly ask if we're dating when we're in public together. gross, right?
if any of you 18-20 year old ladies are into chads (because my brother wears white sneakers, pops the collar on his polo, and thinks that khaki shorts are a fashion statement) let me know. just don't be mad that he's like... skinny. really skinny. you can admire his abs though, if that's your thing.
the last two days i have felt like this:
"i bust in dudes mouths like gushers." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
shit i need to not have so much caffeine this late in the day.
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