I am back from England. It was very very sad but also it was nice because the whole family got together...I saw Aunties and Uncles at the Funeral that I haven't seen in 7 years, the last time when my Nan died, and all the Neighbours and friends came down and my Brother and I and Mam and Dad we went out to the Pub for food every day because none of us felt like cooking or washing up so we always went out to eat and just drank a lot, Beer and Gin and Tonics and Pimms haha and we talked a lot about Grandad and all the good times and laughed and cried speaking of him...I took abot 10 days off work and I went back again to work this week...I used to always call my Grandad on Sundays, during the week aswell , but ALWAYS on Sunday :-) So this Sunday was the first Sunday I was back and I wanted to ring him and realized he isn't there anymore...I miss him! I saw my Dad cry for the first time in my entire Life at my Grandads Funeral...that was really hard! It was strange because it all went by like a Film, it all feels so sureal still...I cried too, but it's like the big crash hasn't come yet...I don't know if it still will or not, but I think i just haven't completly realized yet that my Grandad is gone now forever...when we were all there my Mam also said, it feels as if he is still just around the corner in the Kitchen making a cup of Tea or something...but he was 93 and had Cancer and we knew one day this would happen...it's just when it happens...you are still not prepared for it...but was comforts me is that we were all there with him untill the end and my Dad was right next to his bed and he just went to sleep...he didn't have any breathing difficulties or any pain, he just slowly stopt breathing and went to sleep...and he knew that we were there. It is amazing really, my Grandad was always really independent and untill the very end he was still completly there with his head/mind. He slept allmost all day in the end because the Cancer made him so tired...but when he woke up. He said hello and told stories from when he was younger or he would just ask for a cup of tea or how everything is and what's new and all...

I am glad we had so many good times together and i am glad he didn't have to suffer long in the end and that he was able to just go to sleep...he never wanted to be put on machines or anything like that. I kinda wanted to put up one or 2 Photos of us...but it feels kinda weird to put up Photos of me and Grandad on here...I don't know...mabe that's silly...it just makes me laugh a bit in a way and I think I shouldn't do it...but anyhow I am back now and my Computer works again too so i have Internet again...xoxo James