GodsGirl : Imogen > journals > reading "Fuck liars"
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My ideal perfect awesome boyfriend turned out to be a liar.
Is it really that hard, to say what you mean, and then follow through?
We broke up today, these past two or three weeks he's been staying out and getting super wasted, too drunk to come home, or tell me he's not coming home. We've both been really busy, but I thought it was going well. Last week he and his ex girlfriend, the one he left for me, started talking and made plans for him to move back in with her.
Today I asked him why, he said she made it easy. He said he felt bad for her, because she doesn't have any friends, and because they dated for four years.
He said he thinks I'm the most awesome person he ever met, and that I have such a strong personality (which is what he liked about me), and that I'm super attractive and amazing.
He did the "it's not you, it's me" thing.
and yeah, it is him.
I gave it my all, but he was a big faker. He internalized all his problems and didn't tell me when he was upset. He said he thinks he's incapable of human emotions.
I said for someone who reads so much philosophy and psychology, you'd think they'd be capable of some introspection, or maybe they'd know a little about human behavior. Last weekend he made plans to break up, and this week we went to see Examined Life, we cuddled on the bus, we took baths together and scrubbed each other's backs, we had fantastic sex, we cuddled, he made me tea in the morning, I brought him lunch to work.
I despise dishonesty and deception. It felt like this came out of nowhere because he acted like he was still in love and like we were having fun.
He was a big liar though, he was faking it most of the time (though apparently not the sex?)
I guess it comes down to this:
I'm the kind of person who gives away their only winter coat in December, and you're the kind of person who let's their best friend chase a skunk and think it's a cat.
(When we were at work together, we'd play this text game where we'd tell a story and make the other person guess what we did. Those were our stories.)
I'm so pissed. This whole summer I thought was fantastic, and he agreed that he meant it all, but didn't see it turning out this way. No one did see it coming. I honestly wouldn't have bothered with him if we would have actually dated for three fucking months, and been secretly fucking while he lived with his girlfriend for the whole summer. (A detail I left out because I thought it looked bad, though I figured in retrospect it would be justified because we were so in love and would date for a long time.) It's only fitting that he's going back with her.
She's a dumb bitch for taking him back, he's a douchebag for obvious reasons, and I'm better off.
I'm mourning the loss of a person who probably didn't actually exist, but I'll recover.
Any intelligent, anarchist/communist, bearded and bespeckled, plaid shirt/flannel wearin', (maybe vegan straight edge) nice guys wanna come cheer me up?
We can cuddle and watch venture brothers and bake cupcakes and tell the truth?
Yeah, I need time to recover, but cuddling is part of that.
Sorry this journal is a bit of a downer, but it's at least ending on a somewhat "good riddance to bad boyfriends" sort of a note.
It's going to suck going to work tomorrow and seeing him there.
I can probably get him fired though. He fucks up a lot and the owner sort of acts fatherly to me.
But maybe I'll let my life get awesome and rub it in his face instead.
I hope everyone else is doing well. <3
Viewing 128 comments on this page
Me too! I don't know if I'm okay. I go back and forth between pissed and thinking I'm better off and being a bit sad, with being super shocked and bawling and not knowing
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Skylar
That blows! I just got out of a five year relationship for similar reasons.
But you'll definitely find someone better and so will I :)
Yay for getting out of shitty relationships with liars.
Thank you, and I'm positive we'll do fine, I'm just waiting to feel better.
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lightsleeper
good to see you're handling it pretty well. dishonesty gets a huge thumbs down in my book.
I'm actually not handling that well :( I go back and forth, mostly.
I'm with you on that dishonesty thing.
( view thread )ugh to the motions. if you ever need to talk/chit chat, you can always hit me up and i'll give you the proper means to do so.
( view thread )You're super sweet. I will probably take you up on that!
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Martini07
I've had my fair share of liars when it comes to relationships. I don't understand why people can't be honest. I don't have a beard, but I'm a nice guy :)
Yeah, I don't get it either. How hard is it to think "I love you" and then say "I love you" and then do things that show it? Why would someone think, "I don't love you
... ( view thread )yeah, I don't get that. It's confusing. I've only been with 4 females, but I'm pretty good at expressing my feelings whether they are good or bad
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Micah
What a douche, seriously.
seriously!
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Vice
What a tool. i hate how some anarchist/communist guys justify polyamourous relationships. I can see the valid points, but when you suggest doing the same to them they flip out. Besides, keeping shit a secret is not cool. I guess I still want to see cuteboy, but only to scout him out and kick his ass early next year.
Back to treating yourself to things strictly meant for you. Good luck and much love.
I don't think he's for polyamoury, just being a douche. He was in a "dying"relationship with her, but he's 32 so he thought if he could put up with it, just to keep going,
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Natascha
I dont have any of those attributes but heres a big * hugggz*
At the minute it probably hurts like shit but in months time you will feel much better and wonder why the hell you were so bothered with him.. I know that doesnt help at the minute, but alcohol usually does;)
xx
I don't drink, I'm straight edge.
Yeah, I know in a while I'll feel better, but it hurts like hell now. It sucks especially because despite how pissed, the person I thought
Stenno
Sorry to hear all that hun! You derserve and will find much better :)
I hope so, and I hope soon. Thank you<3
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KillMrBradley
Douche. Bag. I am sorry this happened to you, but good riddance to that dickface, you are better off without him. I would cuddle with you, but I don' think my girlfriend would like that too much. SO, I am in the process of figuring out this 'cloning' fad I hear about in the picture movies. Soon, very soon you'll get your very own Bradley clone. I will also make him incapable of lying, prone to ridiculously fast beard growth, and his skin will be flannel.
I know I'm better off, I mean, when thinking rationally I know that, but the problem I think is that none of this feels rational. It's out of nowhere. I can't figure out when
... ( view thread )You just have to remember that it isn't your fault at all. People have the wonderful ability to facade being a genuine and sincere person and be able to flip the switch at
... ( view thread )True. I have met and dated people like that, but they weren't as good at it. We'd still fight occasionally and I felt something was wrong. I couldn't even tell when it all
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finlay
Success is the best revenge, somebody said. But what a horrible feeling to discover you've been deceived like that - I'm sorry.
Please accept sincere ehugs from a bearded, plaid wearing vegan drunk.
thanks for the ehugs!
Yeah, I'd have preferred things just get shitty and then have us break up with us BOTH in tears, instead of just me, and instead of "out of
... ( view thread )It was cruel, no excuses, but don't credit him with knowing what he was doing. Seems to me he made a bad choice and now he's trying to rationalise it. Trying to save face and
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MisterX
Coping with the loss of a relationship has got to be one of the hardest things life throws at us. I don't understand how people can do it. I'm still reeling from the pain I had from a relationship I had 7 years ago! So huge props for always looking at the upside of down. The whole point of dating is to see if the person your with is really the person you want to spend your life with anyways. Chin up! Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life! and thats always something to celebrate! <3
I wish I could be as strong as I appear in this entry. I go back and forth between this and crying hysterically because I don't get it, and then not thinking about it and
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salthegeek
*hugs* He is a huge ass for doing that. The best revenge is to get an awesome boy and make out with him.
I hope you feel better soon, I know how it feels to be passed over and disregarded .
*hugs back* Totally huge ass. I can't find awesome boys here, I've been in Milwaukee for two years and have only dated 3 douchebags, and liked 4. I'm so picky since this new
... ( view thread )You are welcome. That sucks, you deserve better.
I'm use to feeling that way , sad I know but thats my life.
( view thread )I was used to being sad too. Since april I've been so happy though, the happiest ever. It sucks to come down from that, and to know my "happiest ever" was from a lie.
Thank
... ( view thread )The crash always sucks, I sometimes avoid being happy knowing it will all come down .
Hang out at comic book stores, that almost works for me.
( view thread )I used to do that too, but I let myself go this past year and tried out this happy thing everyone is talking about. it's worth if if you don't date douches.
I work at a
... ( view thread )I really should do that , but the feeling is to hard to shake.
ouch,time for a new job I guess.
( view thread )this is seriously the only job I've ever had. I've been there for a little over a year and a half. I honestly can't get a new job, I get to make my own hours here and just
... ( view thread )I'm sorry , I didn't know.
( view thread )oh, no worries. He actually started here 7 years ago so I can't say "I was here first!" but then he quit and taught in korea for three years and did other shit, and came
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Viola
Oh! I'm sorry, my beautiful amazing wife. I am glad that you know you're better off without him though. Come to Melbourne and I'll take care of you, and you can have summer again!
I know I'm better off, but I keep kind of forgetting and concentrating on the shock and sadness I feel.
I'm so not looking forward to a winter alone. They're so brutal.
( view thread )Who says you'll be alone though? Life has the capacity to surprise in good ways as well as bad. I send you all my love and well wishes.
( view thread )I don't know, whenever an awesome dude comes out of nowhere and is fantastic, they end up later on being the biggest douche imaginable.
( view thread )Oh, I definitely know that feeling. I was hung up on a liar for a very long time. But I have noticed that interesting people always appear in the least likely place. I know
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Adelaide
wow. what a douche. i'm sorry you had to go through that, i know exactly how it is and it sucks. but at least you know that you're a better person and you can do so much better. come cuddle and i'll make you vegan brownies. hehehe.
I want cuddles and brownies!
I know I can do better than the real him, but I have trouble accepting that the real him isn't the same him I originally fell for. :(
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VegaXtant
This bums me the fuck out. I was so happy when you wrote giddy things about your love life, and now to read he is actually THIS kind of person. I don't want to say I hate all humans, but I'm getting disappointed time after time by people exactly like that. It's unbelievable to think how many people are like this, how is it easier to be like this? With already enough complications, people need to turn into shit after...I am gonna stop myself before I begin to rant.
I can wear a big, fat strap-on and grow a beard (hormone treatment-like things?) and...okay, I'm not straight edge (OH, I don't smoke, though. Hah.) and I will fill your qualifications and I will be your penpal lover until a real one comes along.
PS I will also take a clone if you find said guy, if that wouldn't be too awkward.
Haha. I just realized I called myself intelligent by saying I fit the other qualifications.
To justify that I'm not bulking up my self-esteem (well, not entirely, at
... ( view thread )I know, I'm so let down. I thought we were in love and that we'd be together for a seriously long time, or even fuckin' forever. Because that's what we said we both wanted.
... ( view thread )I hope once you get completely over him, he realizes he fucked up and that he won't be as happy as he could be with you, but it will be too late.
That kind of smile thing
ohh no. that's so douchy. I heard a little about your story on that but I didn't know the extent :( That's awful, I'm sorry you had to go through that, because I'm sure it
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Ducky
I think this is one of the best 'downer' journal entries ever, Imogen. Seriously, completely his loss. I find the more people 'talk' about psychology/ philosophy, the more that person has a lack of moral compass, an undefined sense of loneliness and is probably a little crazy. Or that's been my experience. Very similar to the boss who used to spout Buddhist quotes in my face and and how valuable compassion is while he was screwing everyone over royally and filling their backs with knives. Er... anyhow, I'm glad this one didn't take up anymore of your time and your emotional health. Sounds like you averted disaster ;) much love xoxo
I wish I felt it 100% though, I'm still super sad and crying nonstop. I didn't go to any of my classes today. Everything reminds me of him, and not the fake liar version, the
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Athame
I wish I could give you a hug.
What a lame ass bastard, he deserves her, I bet she knew about you, but didn't care.
That is some messed up crap.
Don't worry he'll mess up his own employment, don't give him the pleasure of seeing you become vengeful.
I'm very sorry to hear about this. :(
It's well deserved on my end, I knew about her too, and I felt guilty, but thought I was justified because we "were in love"
Though it's stupid of her to take him back, he
Yes very retarded. They deserve one another.
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Speaker
So sorry you're going through this :(
I'd love to cuddle and watch VB but I still haven't perfected my teleportation device.
The last tomato I tried to send to Colorado ended up somewhere in the Atlantic ocean...
/transporter fail
thanks, it feels good just to know that I'm cuddlewithable, and am not defective or something.
( view thread )thank you :)
I feel a little defective though. I still can't wrap my head around him being the same guy from this summer, and him being the same guy who walked in the
thebeat
fucking boys, man! they're all stupid. sorry to hear it didn't work, but you're awesome and a babe so it really is HIS LOSS!
I'm super sad. I didn't see it coming. It is his loss, but unfortunately I still feel awful. <3
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TrickieGrind
wow,that sucks so much you dont deserve that. you are so truely amazing,intelligent and beautiful. if i could id come over and def watch venture brothers with you and tell dumb jokes to make you giggle at my goofiness so youd just smile.
It sucks because he told me I was all those things, even while we were breaking up.
I wish we could watch venture brothers and I love dumb jokes.
( view thread )well it is true,you are all those things. i mean lets be honest,i dont know you, ill probably never met you so why would i have any reason to lie to you, some guys are just
... ( view thread )thank you, you're so kind. It's nice to be reassured that kind dudes exist. I mean, you're consoling me and you don't have to, at all. It doesn't necessarily benefit you in
... ( view thread )well you are a cool person and have always been sincere to me so i should at least attempt, its my nature to wanna help people speically those i think are speical.
( view thread )You're super sweet. Thank you. It's so nice and distracting being comforted instead of sitting on my couch crying. I mean, I should be fair, my best friend roommate lady has
... ( view thread )"not everything that glitters is gold" as they say, i mean if i could id come over bring some seasons of venture bros,aqua teen and arrested development along with some
... ( view thread )awww, that sounds cute. Just so long as it's vegan ice cream! You have good lady-best friend advice, and I mean that in the best way possible.
( view thread )haha most of my friends are girls so ive always been the venting friend for em. it happens, id make a good gay best friend if only i wasnt straight but alas i am. im just old
... ( view thread )That is pretty shocking. Maybe even scandalous? haha.
But really, you're a great guy, and that's rare. Keep up the good work!
haha ill never change,im always the same. but yea should tell the females of the world that,so can find one of my own,need to find the pam to my jim haha
( view thread )I'll try to get the message out there! I thought Justin was the Dean to my Triana. We always joked about being the grown up versions of them.
fuck.
( view thread )hey now, theres plenty more fish in the sea. a joke:
a pirate walks into a bar and the bartender notices hes got a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. so the pirate
... ( view thread )just dont stress it, i mean just live your life and things will happen. the world works in its own way, things happen when they are supposed to,you know. you really are an
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dleblanc20
well this being broken up with seems to be going around a lot lately, but im sorry he was such a lying douchebag who played you like that, it really doesnt seem fair, but if he was like that then maybe he wasnt worth it in the first place. also, i would love to come cuddle with you but im afraid im a bit far and working like a retarded chipmunk on cocaine for the next couple of weeks, but i wouldn't have a problem with you cuddling a big body pillow and pretending its me {;P
also, thanks for the words of advice the other day, it really helped me a lot
Yeah, I did not fucking see it coming. I feel like such a fool. He wasn't worth it at all, I wish I would have known. Three months of fucking and cuddling and cute texting
... ( view thread )you arent stupid, if you were clairvoyant and saw all this coming and still went with it then you would be stupid, but being in a relationship and not seeing that deep down
... ( view thread )Fuck. I said the same shit to him when we were breaking up and he was going on about how he's not a good person, I said he was human, and like Zizek said, love isn't
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Sheena
I'm not the most intelligent, but I'm fun.
I honestly don't care much about politics.
I can draw on a beard and throw on my broken Buddy Holly glasses.
I wear plaid shirts, flannel, and even FLANNEL WITH PLAID ON IT!
I'd quit drinking (maybe cigarettes too, but not so much on the 'erb...I would definitely do it when I'm alone).
I'm not a guy...but I sure put on a nice deep voice ;)
I'm sorry to hear about this douchebag! I'm glad you realize you're better than that :D
Sublive
Doood i feel your pain, i got my ass and heart handed to me this year as well. Its the worst finding out all the things you felt and thought were not shared at all back arg! Trust me a girl as wicked as you has no need for a lying manipulative douch in your life! you are wayy better off with out him. I'm mad for you!
I would love to help cheer you up, i can dance and maybe put on a puppet show for you with old socks! and cuddle too! Hope you feel better soon!
I'm sorry it happened to you too. :( You're so sweet, It's nice to know I can still smile when I'm crying.
Come to Milwaukee and we can cuddle and put on puppet shows and
Hehe I would love too! i have never been to Milwaukee! Im sure it rules, you are there after all:)
( view thread )Milwaukee actually kind of sucks and is super cold. I live in a sweet area, it's super friendly and full of punks and hippies. Unfortunately I can't go to the cafe and co op
... ( view thread )Aw its tough i know, i had the same problems.. It will get better in time and you will find awesomeness!
hehe dont tempt me!
( view thread )I hate waiting for things to get better. I feel like I'm always doing that. The only time I didn't was when I was with him, which sucks.
haha, why, will it work?
( view thread )Yeah probly, im pretty impulsive at times!
( view thread )I have a cat, lots of tea, some cake, tons of venture brothers, the most comfortable bed in the world, tons of blankets, and I'm great company.
just sayin'.
( view thread )Sold!
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maxmayflower
You shouldn't let shit like this get to you darling, especially since you gave it your all.
But I'm sure you knew that already <3
I "knew it" but I thought I knew a lot of things. I hate that whenever I think I'm no longer naive, it turns out I'm super naive.
It's nice to hear that I gave it my all
... ( view thread )We can never know everything, not in this lifetime of course.
That'll come in the next life, maybe, if not the one after that.
It's just all one big learning experience, so
... ( view thread )I was voted "most likely to take over the world" in highschool. Not sure why that was a category.
Thank you for excusing my naivety, I'm sometimes so naive I forget that I'm
... ( view thread )That last sentence is beautiful.
Thank you.
thank you :)
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NikofromLA
fuck it, shit happens.
you're better off w/out that prick anyways.
I say pwn the living shit out of him, but dont waste too much time.
just keep your chin up and rock the bird like you dont give a fuck.
just a learning experience, never trust a dude like that.
tea sounds fucking amazing though.
NikofromLA
fuck it, shit happens.
you're better off w/out that prick anyways.
I say pwn the living shit out of him, but dont waste too much time.
just keep your chin up and rock the bird like you dont give a fuck.
just a learning experience, never trust a dude like that.
tea sounds fucking amazing though.
Yeah, it does, and yeah, I am. It just doesn't feel entirely that way yet. I'm still crying almost nonstop.
It just adds so much insult to injury that he went back with his ex
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Tayte
i know a couple over here in california =/
im so sorry that he turned out to be a douche. i was really happy for you.
anyways, enjoy your awesome single life and rub it in his face. you are better than that.
like,
beyond better. you are an amazing girl. what a piece of shit.
sometimes i really wonder how far dude's heads are shoved up their asses.
i meant i know a couple of these.
Any intelligent, anarchist/communist, bearded and bespeckled, plaid shirt/flannel wearin', (maybe vegan straight edge) nice guys wanna come
... ( view thread )Send them my way, please. The hard part is all of that plus the "nice guy" bit.
( view thread )exactly.
i think my best friend got the only "nice guy" that also fills all the other qualifications as well. even the plaid shirts. i dont think that guy owns any other
... ( view thread )Put him in a box and send him to my house. I will take excellent care of him.
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MiskatonicGrad
Intelligent bearded anarchist with a questionable obsession of Mrs. Monarch checking in :)
Hope you get to feeling better. Cheers.
thanks, Dr. Strangelove!
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Addison
"Any intelligent, anarchist/communist, bearded and bespeckled, plaid shirt/flannel wearin', (maybe vegan straight edge) nice guys wanna come cheer me up?"
I hear Nate has a beard now. But I think he fails on intelligent.
Oh I missed the nice part.
And you didn't specify not fat and creepy and especially not a rapist of underage girls.
( view thread )fuck, I thought that might go without saying, or be wrapped up in the nice bit.
Thanks for reminding me, I don't want to fuck up again due to being vague.
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AstorNYC
Imogen,
I'm so sorry that this guy hurt you.
Based on your observation (copied below), it sounds like you have the proper take on things:
"She's a dumb bitch for taking him back, he's a douchebag for obvious reasons, and I'm better off."
It probably wouldn't be a good idea to get him fired. You might feel bad about it after. Better to get your life back on track, get it awesome, and then let him deal with it.
I really am very sorry.
Yeah, I'll see how it goes when I start working. If it's unbearable I'll just ask the owner not to have us work near each other. If he's super douchey to me at work, I will
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wychlea
Letting your life get awesome should be priority number one! Then yes, rub it in his face. That's the best way to make him feel shitty. :)
I'm sorry all that shit had to happen. Hugs!
:) I'm trying that. Tomorrow was better than Monday, when it happened. I still cried for a lot and moped around, but there wasn't any shaking (aside from shivering because
... ( view thread )Get a NEW umbrella! Maybe a purple one?
My last break up process was expidited by rollercoasters. The adrenalin really helped. Time for an amusement park with
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Serena
Oh honey.
You deserve 8 billion times better than that, seriously. What a fake ass piece of shit.
XOXO
Thank you! I'm still kind of pissed and bitter, but I haven't cried since Wednesday. I've been busy. I still miss fake him, but I know that's not real. Mostly now I'm
... ( view thread )Wow, awesome that they try to kick you while your down like that. Bleh.
I say kick them back. But in the balls.
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kacstar
I think I'm late to this party, but I don't get cartoon network at my house, so I could use some Venture bros and some cuddling for sure! and I am straight edge, I do have a beard, i do have some flannel..... we'll hafta make that happen.
I don't have cartoon network either! I watch venture bros on adult swim twoish days after the episodes air, so like Monday or Tuesday. It's fantasticcc
( view thread )Now I'm confused.... Adult swim in on Cartoon Network where I live... :-S But I don't care how you're watchin it. Count me in!
( view thread )whoops, I meant to say on the adult swim website!
( view thread )that's kool.
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Saiya
Ah, this is what happened to "cuteboy".
He's going to be "douchebag" from now on. I officially revoke his awesome name. >:/
*hugs*
It'll be okay darling. You are better off indeed. <3
yep, this is what happened.
Turned out to be a total fail.
He was full of cuteshit and big plans and everything in the summer while he was still dating his ex, but "in love
back to the profile of Imogen
That sucks, I hate liars! I hope you're ok.
I'm a bearded, bespectacled, flannel wearing, straight edge guy sending you a cyber cuddle!