Ellie's journals

even though i haven't been my happiest lately, iit seems that i learned more than usual....more about myself and more about people. I know its sort of dumb to say "learned" because maybe what i've come to terms with in my head is wrong, and maybe in a week i'll second guess myself....I know that i don't cope well with things, and i tend to get easily confused/bothered, but i feel satsified tonight. That's weird too.


Good weird, though.

When i was a kid, i had trouble learning how to tie my shoes. Everyday during gym, I'd anticipate the end of class when we had to put our shoes back on, because i was nervous that i coudln't do it in front of all the other kids.

I'ts a shame I didn't just owna  bunch of flats.

I still get nervous about little things. My heart is always pounding before I go into crowded public places.

Anyway, this week has been weird. I had an ex friend want to kick my ass (if you knew me better, you'd realize how funny this is, I'm pretty non-violent...), and last night I drank a bunch of apple rum and layed on the living room floow for a while listening to music by myself. I keep having dreams that wake me up but then i can't remember what they were about, i just feel like "whhhaaat..." and it's really hard to get back to sleep.

Maybe that's what i need...really good sleep.

found this pic of me as a wee fifteen year old
HEH


BUT it is only s slight heh compared to the enormous one that this one deserves...this is me at 16



bahaha...all the things she said, all the things she said, runnin' through my head...


and this is my baby, Ziggy

so my AIM started screwing up after i went to get a bowl of cereal. Sorry to those i was talkin' to...
We will chat again soon/
:D

someone come play with me.
i wanna talk.
aim= birthdaypixie

I dreamt i was at the gynocologist. but it was like an old room..like from the 70's, with ugly brownish wood walls, and an off-shade green carpet. i wasl ying on the table, watching looney tunes on a little TV that was sitting by my head.
this old man walks in..he's got a long white beard and everything, and he puts my legs in the styrups...he then starts mumbling but not to me.i guess, just to himself.. but i dont seem to care about anything so its like hes performing a check up..
and then he starts pulling electric eels out of me and sitting them aside...like a whole bunch of them
all the time i'm still watching looney tunes.
so i guess he's all done, cause he says he is...and he leaves the room. i just stay there and watch the little tv.

o.O
who knows....

its so late. i'm so tired...there are watercolors at the table....just some random girl face.

in my image gallery, just in case you're bored...very bored.

I've been a big ghosty around here for the past few days, bbbuuutttt i have been kinda busy, including going to the ladytron show yesterday in Dallas.
It was perfect...such a pleasant vibe and they sounded great. I love a show where everyone is dancing and happy, and not screaming FUCK YOU at everyone
very nice
here's some quick pics i snapped along the way:
.

I just woke up from a nap and I had a zombie/disease/28 days later type dream....the last thing i recall:  my family and I were ducked down isnide our car that had too many windows, whispering on our cell phone trying to find other family members...I was trying to keep ym dog from barking.

Then I woke up, nobody was at my house, and an episode of Spongebob was playing where Bikini Bottom was for some mysteriousreason deserted.

Meh. So I called my mom to hear a human voice and make sure it wasn't real.