Daisy's journals

Man, I met this girl through a good friend on myspace. She was beautiful, interesting, and she really really liked me. I told her to call me tonight and she didn't.

She sent me a message that reaked of fear.

It was like she wanted to hang out with me and wanted to be with me so much, but there was some kind of fear that was holding her back. I could tell in the e-mail, it was like she was trying to tell me that she was sorry she couldn't be stronger, and she wished she could.

Brandon and I need a woman who is a spiritual warrior. Someone who is able to push through fear for something that she loves. A woman who will listen to her heart. Where the fuck is she?

Girls are so disappointing sometimes.

Hey everyone,

Firstly, if you have a myspace, please add me : ) www.myspace.com/godsgirldaisy.

Secondly, I've been reading an amazing book by Osho called Intimacy. It's been helping me to trust myself as well as others, and it's been helping me to cultivate true love for myself. A guy was driving through L.A., a customer, who bought Brandon and I's eBook. He bought us lunch, and it was really fucking cool. I'll post more later, but for now:

Thirdly,

Pictures:

Brandon:


and my boobies:

Hey guys, I wanted to post this NL that Brandon wrote and sent out today. Hope you enjoy! Either that, or I hope you get seriously offended : D. Yintegrity is not for the faint.

Yintegrity -- The Future Of Femininity And Heart
Consciousness

"Distraction, A Girl's Best Friend Forever"

NOTE: Keep those questions for the Yintegrity audio program
coming! Just send in your questions with "YT Question" in
the subject line. We don't care how "dumb" or controversial
they are! Be sure to send yours in.

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Distraction.

A woman's best weapons on their bag of relationship tricks.

Distraction can get a woman "far" when she's in a heated
argument with a man.

I say "far" because it gets her further and further away
from the REAL truth of her issues with relationships,
polarity and s e xuality.

Instead of actually facing the music of her own
insecurities, worries, fears and anxieties, she has cleverly
learned over the years that she doesn't have to if she can
slip out of the lime light.

Very clever indeed.

Women are very clever creatures and they are VERY clever at
arguing. Clever because they don't need any logic. It's
almost "freeing"... of course with the unresolved emotional
torment behind it! :)

One distractive deed I've seen used over and over again
is answering a question with a question.

It goes something like this:

Man asks "Were you out with a man at a bar the other night?"

Woman responds "Why are you asking me this question?"

OR...

"Are you trying to blame me for something?"

OR...

"What is this all about?"

Instead of answering a simple "yes" or "no", she slips out
of the heat of the question with a distraction. Instead,
she flips it around and makes it her lover's fault for even
THINKING about it.

Another is using guilt and blaming.

It goes like this:

Man asks: "Were you out with a man at a bar the other night?"

She responds: "I can't believe you would even THINK I would
do that!"

Distractions, distractions and more distractions. Yin has
become famous for this.

Usually the more distraction, the more "in-the-wrong" the
woman knows she is.

But, most women are used to getting their way - every single
time.

Most women have been *spoiled* by daddy and men who bathe
and shower them with attention, gifts, flowers and needy
love.

In some instances, some remind me of those little Greek gods
with servants all around feeding them grapes from the vine
and fresh wine.

Woman are used to walking all over men and getting most
everything they want from them. Most men today are push-
overs and most of you girls are relentless! ;)

This very thing is something Amy Jo was notoriously
exceptional at in yesteryear.

She was an exceptional distractor.

It took much effort to help her see when she was distracting.

Do you think that she liked it when I pointed these things
out?

Hell no.

I just kept hounding it in as non-reactively and as non-
judgmentally as possible. She eventually *totally* got it.

Ha,the smarter they are, the better distractions they come
up with in the midst of an emotional painbody attack.

(A painbody attack is an emotional reaction to an event that
brings up dormant feelings [usually from childhood] and
creates very illogical, irrational mood swings. When
the painbody consumes one, their is NO logicing them,
especially if the person happens to be a feminine woman).

Since most of our readers are probably very smart and
intelligent, I bet that you know exactly what I'm talking
about.

God help us. ;D

There's nothing more "persuasive" than a feminine woman on
a painbody parade...

Anyhoo, when a woman is wrapped up in the painbody, there
is only one way to come out of it.

To become conscious of it. To allow our overwhelming sense
of self-love to break us free of these silly behaviors.

Allow the heart to flow.

"Yes. My pain-body IS running a muck! And that's OK because
I am truly loved in and of myself."

In a way, this is "admitting defeat". More like the EGO
admitting defeat.

In another way, this is claiming victory.

When you say those words "I am truly loved", there is no
need to justify it, rationalize it, or find evidence for it.

Find it in your heart to accept it as so.

You are the FLOWERING of existence. A HUMAN BEING. Have you
ever seen anything else more astounding, interesting,
complex, loving, nurturing and beautiful? Have you ever seen
anything more beautiful than another human beings face?

We are truly a loop in the universe.

Our chances of our coming to be were as likely as a tornado
sweeping through a junk yard and assembling a jumbo jet.

It's our conditioning that gets in the way and once we
become conscious of that, we can be FREE.

Our egos HATE to be wrong.

This is why it's so hard to get out of the painbody when it
hits. We think we are "right" to feel that way. We do
anything and everything to justify it. And if left alone and
"untreated", it can infect us.

Every time the pain body arises, that is an OPPORTUNITY to
grow and become more happy... if we can become conscious of
it and understand the lessons that it holds for us in each
situation.

Whether we are able to do that or not is a different story!

;)

When we sit back, eat chips and drink soda, drink, do drugs
and watch T.V., things become much more tricky.

But, when we are meditating, opening the heart, eating raw
foodies everyday, and coming into heart consciousness,
becoming conscious of this stuff becomes WAY easier.

Our crazed emotional swings hold less weight than they did
before.

It takes a REAL WOMAN with BALLS to be able to actually
follow through with this stuff. It takes a REAL woman to
meditate everyday and to care enough about her body and
emotions to be eating raw foodies.

It takes a REAL woman to actually let go of the emotional
B.250 that she learned works to manipulate men. Women have
found a key to getting anything they want from men, but if
you had a key that could do ANYTHING in the world, but would
enslave some people, would you use it?

Would you use your advantages over other people?

To a real woman, what truly matters is her HEART. The heart
and not this useless power struggling, ego driven, guilty
collective conscience of today's society.

All of this stuff builds and builds and we are left to
think that those feelings of love are mistakes and weak and
should be tossed out to make way for other things... like
money, a "good husband", family and friend approval.

But love ALWAYS calls out to us and wants us to remember.

For a normal sheep girl, all this is just fine, but for a
REAL woman... a woman of YINTEGRITY, she wishes to actually
be happy.

Yes! Actually BE HAPPY! Actually BE IN LOVE. Actually feel
a sense of FREEDOM.

It's not as far off as it seems. It's not something that's
waiting for us somewhere out there. It's already right here
once we can see it right under our noses.

Sheep do what they are told unconsciously. An alive woman
with red and blue blood pumping through her veins and
arteries LIVES while they are AWAKE.

She knows that arguing and distraction only make her life
harder in the end.

Easier at first, harder in in the end.

In my opinion, it's this way of living women must grow. She
needs a bigger view than just the next second, while men
need more of a view than what happens in a week, or a month
or a year.

Balance.

Distraction, arguing and endless circles around your
problems? Or love, affection, let go and freedom?

Talk to you again soon and keep sending in those questions
for the Yintegrity audio program with "YT Question" in the
subject line.


With honor,

Brandon


www.Yintegrity.com

^^To sign up for the free newsletter.


PS - If you want to set aside your distractions and want to
start using a PRODUCTIVE "bag of tricks" for relationship,
you can check out the book and testimonials here:

http://clicks.aweber.com/y/ct/?l=PQXol&m=1dTmTAl2XvjAHr&b=EM0LM13C5K6K_vUwb48_0g

> >If you have any questions you would like answered by Amy Jo
or me, just shoot us an email to Brandon@Yintegrity.com or
AmyJo@Yintegrity.com .


> >Those of you waiting patiently for "Raw foodies: Eat Your Way
To A Better Relationship"... keep waiting patiently, it's
arrival is soon.


PPS - Those of you circulating our book illegally, and
you know who you are, think about this: We're selling A.J.'s
car to be able to pay for a new website. We're not
rich bastards looking to rip you off. We're probably more
similar to you then you think ;)

I've never been a squirter. I didn't know that it was possible for *everyone* to have them. There are some who can naturally squirt with ease, but not many.

My amazing boyfriend taught me to squirt through a series of deep tissue massages under my shoulder blades, lower back, butt, inner thighs, pubic bone, ribs, boobs, and collar bones.

I also had to do kegels a whole lot too to develop and strengthen my PC muscle.

Squirting helps women to find joy in life and their body. It also makes them less bitchy, insecure, etc. If you want a girl to let go of her pussy-power, just teach her how to squirt!

If you are openly bisexual, single, and would like to learn how to squirt, you should meet Brandon and I ;) ;).

I bring this up now because I just got another massage tonight and I am all oily and smell of coconut oil!

In other news, I'm really learning how to trust myself, my heart, my feelings, because I know that once I trust and love myself fully, I will be able to have trust in other people and in the universe.

I'm planning some DIY's with Eden and Xanthia. Super excited!

I'm doing a 30 day fast/cleanse and I'm on Day 3. Going pretty well so far. Detoxing is nearing an end, and I'm getting my energy back.

I have a lot brewing in my head, but I have to wait until it boils over to write a post worth reading. Until then, here!

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

Not as easy as you might think.

1. Where is your cell phone?
non-existent (does that count as one word? haha)

2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend?
bed

3. Your hair?
messy

4. Work?
Poop.

5. Your father?
Asshole

6. Your favorite thing?
Brandon

7. Your dream last night?
cocaine

8. Your favorite drink?
OJ

9. Your dream car?
Volvo

10. The room you’re in?
Garage

11. Your pet?
Yogi!

12. Your fears?
Rejection

13. What do you want to be in 10 years?
circle

14. Where did you hang out yesterday?
Park

15. What are you not good at?
Makeup

16. Eyebrow rings on the opposite sex?
Gross

17. One of your wish list items?
Circle!

18. Where you grew up?
C-Bad!

19. The last thing you did?
Brandon

20. What are you wearing?
pj's

21. What aren’t you wearing?
A bra

22. Do you currently like someone?
love

23. Your computer?
Brandon's

24. Your life?
dreamy

25. Your mood?
goofy

26. Missing?
girlfriend

Some guy asked a question about circles. He said, "When a couple gets together, they form emotional and chemical bonds with each other; just as a child would bond with his/her parents. Surely this bond can't spread between three people?"



Most people think that love is finite. That there is a limited amount of love you can have for people and from people.

However, love is infinite. Ongoing, timeless, limitless.

So it seems to me that you are forgetting that it is time that is finite, not love.

So we have so much to do, so little time so to speak.

We have an infinite amount of love to give, but not enough time to give it to everyone individually.

This is why people get jealous. Because they don't understand that they are truly loved.

A circle of three, no problem. If it was a circle of the entire universe, well that's a different story.

Oh fuck, I'm high :toke: :toke: , so maybe I'm full of shit and I don't know what I'm talking about ;) ;).

So Brandon and I's best friends, Stephane and Ghita of ideagasms.net just got another circle. They've had three and this will be their fourth.

I'm super jealous, haha.

Circle relationships are the most beautiful thing known to man (IMHO :p).

I can't wait for another circle to appear in our life!

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*within

I've been unhappy because I'm searching outside to fill a space instead of searching on the inside.

On an intellectual, I know that happiness is not $20 away, or 5 pounds lighter. It's something I was born with. I already have it. And by searching for it, I'm only walking farther from it. I understand that happiness isn't something achieved, it's a choice.

And on another level, I don't want to discover inner happiness yet.

I want to get rich, and buy a beach house and all the raw food I could ever hope to desire, smoke pot, go on adventures.

I feel like I have to take a break and go somewhere in nature. Though I know that happiness is here, inside me.

I'm needy for something new... a friend, an adventure. And while those are good things, I'm still wanting them out of neediness.

The difference between wanting something and needed something is the difference between love and fear. Needing something is the fear of never having it, while wanting it is desiring it out of love, happiness, excitement.

If I just let go, it'll come. But then I "need" to let go, and this is no needing to let go, only flow.

Let things flow, let things go, and stumble upon inner bliss.

My favorite part about picking up chicks with my boyfriend is testing their limits and pushing their buttons.

Now Brandon and I have a lot of ways of going out picking up chicks, and this is not "The Pickup Artist" MTV bullshit. Mystery is a fucking dumbass and his heart is totally closed. Poor guy, he's fucking miserable too.

Brandon and I are usually very honest, heart-centered. Though we know *exactly* what to do to get a girl into bed with us, it's not really our style. It's not threesomes we are after.

It's not really pick up any more, it's qualifying the girl to see if she's ready and capable of being in a circle. Most girls are too insecure, stuck in the head, and fear-based for this lifestyle. Brandon and I are literally looking for spiritual warriors. Girls with a spark in their eye.

So my favorite part is when girls are total bitches. Girls will never have more respect for men until they learn PU (pick up). I would come home crying, "Girls are so mean!!! All I fucking said was, "Hi!" ". But now that I understand why women are such brats nowadays, I can be pretty compassionate and not take things personally.

What I am referring to here are girls with pussy power. You know, girls who think they have gold-plated pussies.

Like when a girl thinks she's doing Brandon and I a *favor* by having sex with us.

I like telling the girl, "Look, if you think your pussy is a favor to us, then you should probably go and find some average frustrated chump who will buy you presents and worship your feet and let you walk all over him."

And their faces? PRICELESS. That's when they pretty much fall in love with us and kiss our feet. Because we don't care if they are hot or have big boobs, and we're the first people to be able to put these kinds of girls in their fucking place.

Or when a girl is in bed with us and does the same shit, I love it when Brandon will say, "You're pussy isn't a favor to us, you must now ASK to stay in bed with us."

Sometimes I bring cards with me that only read in bold, "Fuck you." or my personal favorite, "You're boring." And when girls are bitches, I just give them the card and tell them to have a nice day. When they read it and it says, "You're boring." they either get totally pissed off which is HILARIOUS (because they know it's true), or they bust up laughing and stalk Brandon and I for the rest of the night.

Trust and love always,
Daisy